


Two Fool Things

by Janina



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Drama & Romance, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-02 18:24:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 61,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4070041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janina/pseuds/Janina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jon and Sansa attend the same college. Jon's been a family friend for years and he takes Sansa under his wing when she starts school at his college. They are super close and quite happy with their arrangement. But then, one night Jon starts chatting up a pretty classmate and Sansa feels that things are about to change. She does not like it one bit....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am quite new to the Jon Snow x Sansa fandom (my friend calls them Snark). I discovered them on Tumblr and was intrigued, since I love the show and both of them, and after reading a crap ton of fics, decided to write one.
> 
> Lovely gorgeous perfect poster by amymel86!   
> [](https://imgur.com/lsNeaGO)

**Life is one fool thing after another, whereas love is two fool things after each other. ~ Oscar Wilde**

Jon Snow was slightly annoyed. He didn’t like being made to wait, and social butterfly Sansa Stark had made him wait for close to an hour in the university library before he’d given up and marched to her dorm room to give her hell. 

However, when he arrived on her floor and stepped out of the elevator, he noted that the second floor of Casterly Rock Hall was…well, it was wet. Jon cursed when he nearly slipped and fell on his arse just trying to make it across the lobby.

“You’re dead, Sansa Stark!” a feminine voice shrieked, and Jon recognized it as having come from Margaery Tyrell, Sansa’s best friend. 

She came barreling past him in the dorm’s lobby and started when she saw him. She nearly fell over as she slid across the floor and then knocked into the wall. Jon winced and started to go for her to see if she was okay, but then she was hurling two water balloons down the hall that she had in her arms and then tore off again. 

He heard various shouts and screams coming from all areas of the floor and sighed heavily. He should just come back later when the floor wasn’t like a Slip n’ Slide and he wasn’t in danger of being pelted by a water balloon. 

Of course no sooner had he thought that then he was pelted in the back by a water balloon. He turned and found Sansa standing there, giggling. 

He scowled at her. “Was that really necessary?”

She nodded. “Definitely.”

“Did you forget we were—”

She slid over to him and slapped a hand over his mouth and leaned to the side as though listening for something. It was then that he noticed the super soaker in her other hand. Her hand that covered his mouth was cold and wet. Margaery jumped out into the hall with a battle cry and Sansa practically shoved Jon out of the way to start super soaking her best friend. 

Jon had the good sense to get out of the way. The fight between the two didn’t last long though, because both girls ending up falling on their behinds. Jon didn’t like at all the way Sansa fell on her back and so he rushed over and knelt down beside her worriedly. “Sansa, are you okay?”

She winced. “That might have hurt a little.”

“Tell me about it,” Margaery groaned as she pulled herself up against the wall and slumped there. Her light brown hair was stuck to her face at odd angles, but she didn’t seem inclined to move them away. 

Jon helped Sansa to her feet. “How’s that?” he asked gently. 

“I’m fine, Jon,” Sansa assured him, but then limped as she started to walk away. Jon shook his head and scooped her up into his arms. “You are not fine,” he said sternly. “You hurt yourself.”

“Hello? Does anyone care that I fell too?” Margaery said, still propped up on the floor. 

When a few girls down the hall came rushing to Margaery’s side, Jon didn’t feel so bad leaving her there to fend for herself. Sansa was his priority. He had promised the Stark family when she’d started school at Lannis Port University to take care of her. He hadn’t realized what a full-time job that could sometimes be. 

He got it, he really did. He had been the same way as a freshman. The thrill of being free and away from parental control was enticing. For someone like Sansa, the eldest girl, he knew that she faced a lot of pressures from her parents to excel as Robb, her older brother, was. 

He had practically grown up in the Stark household since he and Robb were best friends. Best friends that hadn’t gone off to school together though. Robb wanted to stay close to home in Winterfell, while Jon and Sansa had been of like mind to get the hell out of dodge. 

“Jon, I can walk,” Sansa said in exasperation. 

“I saw you limp.”

“You’re a worrywart.”

“Sansa, you give me a lot to worry about.”

She rolled her eyes. 

She could roll her eyes all she wanted, but it was true. Sansa was hell bent on having every experience college could give her, and it was a wonder Jon hadn’t sprouted gray hairs yet. Just last week she had gone bungee jumping with Margaery – who was, as far as Jon was concerned – a bad influence. 

When he got to her room she simply pushed the door open and Jon decided to save the lecture on how her room she always be locked for later. He carried her over to her side of the room and plopped her down on the bright blue bedspread. Despite what a mess she currently was – her long auburn hair soaking wet and in need of a brushing, her jeans soaked and her t-shirt both soaked and wrinkled, Sansa was quite orderly. Her side of the room was as neat as a pin while Margaery's side looked like a bomb had gone off. 

Not to mention that Margaery’s choice of décor was a bit…contradictory. There were the girly bits – the fake red roses on her desk, the pastel pens on her desk, the billion throw pillows in every color on her bed and the silky rose-colored comforter – and then there were her posters. A movie poster of _Night of the Living Dead_ (the original) and _Halloween_ , plus pictures of zombies, vampires, a scythe, and a creepy framed picture of Edgar Allen Poe. Margaery was twisted. Her décor matched her personality and quite frankly, Jon wasn’t a huge fan. 

He supposed Margaery did help with tempering the serious parts of Sansa – and there were the more serious parts. Sansa was an excellent student and she worked hard. She just liked to play hard, too. 

Sansa leaned up on her elbows and attempted moving her ankle. She winced and reached over for the ibuprofen on her nightstand while Jon went to the small fridge across the room and got out a bottle of water. He sat down on the bed facing her and handed it to her. 

She downed a few ibuprofen and then lay back upon her pillows and smiled at Jon. He smiled back at her. One couldn’t look at Sansa and not smile. Then her smile fell abruptly. “Oh, crap. I stood you up.”

He nodded. 

“I’m sorry. I completely forgot once the water fight started.”

“I figured. Do you have any idea how much trouble you’re all going to be in if you don’t get it cleaned up?”

She frowned and bit her lip. “In that case…Jon, can we go to the library now?”

Jon couldn’t help but laugh. Of course she would suggest that. “Yes, sweetling. We can go to the library now, but I think you’d better change first.”

She nodded, her bright blue eyes lit up and practically sparkling at him. “Jon?”

“Hmm?”

“Have I ever told you that you’re my hero?”

He groaned. “Not this again. Do I have to?”

She laughed and pushed at his leg. “Yes!”

“Sansa, no. Let me retain some dignity, please?”

She stuck out her lower lip, pink and full. “Please? I mean, I did hurt myself and all…”

He arched a brow at her. “And who fault was that?”

“Margaery’s.”

“Sansa.”

“Yours.”

“ _Sansa_.”

She sighed. “I know, I know.”

He shook his head at her and tapped her nose. “Come on, get changed and we’ll get out of here.”

xxxxxxxx

By the time they got outside, Jon’s shirt and jeans were just slightly damp. When he started to steer them to the library, Sansa took hold of his arm and guided him in the other direction. “Let’s go somewhere,” she said. 

“Going to the library is technically still going somewhere,” he said. 

“I don’t want to study though. I was up pretty late studying.”

“How is that even possible? I walked you back to your dorm at midnight after a party in my dorm. And you decided to study then?”

She shrugged. “There is a method to my madness.”

“You’re a wonder, Sansa Stark.”

She grinned. “I like that. Thanks.”

“Where are we going, madam?”

She arched a brow at him. “Madam?”

“Well, I am your chauffer now aren’t I?”

“No, but, what about a movie? My treat.”

Jon stopped in the middle of the path to the parking lot and faced her. “Are you thinking that the longer we’re gone, the less you’ll be connected to the crime of turning your dorm into a water park?”

“Of course,” she said. “But I’ll still treat since I know how Pavlov’s dogs you are about the library.”

He narrowed dark brown eyes at her. “I’m not that bad.”

She snorted and reached up to ruffle his mane of soft black curls. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Snow.”

“I ever tell you what a brat you are?”

She grinned. “All the time.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I'd add another chapter just to get the story really going...

Sansa rocked back and forth on her heels as she and Jon stood in line at the movie theater. He was ruffling in his wallet and Sansa certainly hoped it wasn’t for money. She had promised to treat, and treat she would. He was always trying to pay for her and it drove her nuts. In order to actually pay her own way or pay for both of them she always had to stage a sneak attack. She would this time too, if she had to. 

The movie theater being attached to a small strip mall in downtown Lannis Port, there were plenty of people for Sansa to watch go by. She liked people watching, and she liked people watching with Jon most of all. She would point out a horrendous outfit and he would remind her to be nice. She would point out a couple in the throes of PDA and Jon would just roll his eyes and not say a word. She wondered if he was a closet PDA perpetrator. She wouldn’t know, considering he didn’t date. Apparently there had been a girl before Sansa had arrived at school. A senior named Val that had, according to what she’d been able to glean, broke Jon’s heart when she’d left the country after she’d graduated, but had left him with some pretty epic sexcapades. She’d never asked him about it. 

Now, as her eyes scanned the area, moving at the glacial pace they were moving in, she noticed how some women passing by the area would look at him. It didn’t surprise Sansa one bit. Jon was gorgeous, and he was made even more gorgeous because he didn’t know it. His curls were her favorite. They fell to his shoulder and were so thick and black and incredibly soft. He had better hair than she did. When she mentioned that once he made a face at her and said, “No. I’d rather have your hair. All sleek and straight.”

Sansa figured that was just the way it went. People with curly hair wanted straight hair, and people with straight hair wanted curly hair. 

Then of course there was his body. She was allowed to ogle; he was her best friend (even if Robb was his), and she was red blooded girl. She knew he visited the gym on campus frequently and his arms and abs were proof of that. They were hard to miss when he wore skin-tight black t-shirts and jeans. Plus, of course, the black boots were a staple to his attire. 

He had full lips – every girls dream (for themselves) – and just the softest sweetest look about him. The scruff on his face just completed the entire look. 

So, no, it wasn’t a big surprise that women checked him out. 

She nudged him with her hip, just as Jon wrapped his fist around a twenty dollar bill. Oh, he thought to pay for them did he? And hide it from her? Hmph. He looked up at her. “What?”

She leaned in close and leaned in to whisper in his ear, “You’re being checked out.”

His cheeks went red. “By who?”

“By every woman that passes by.”

He frowned. “Doubtful.”

Finally, the line was moving. 

“Do you think I’m lying to you?” she asked. 

“No…”

“You know you’re gorgeous,” she said on a sigh. 

His grinned at her crookedly. “Am I?”

“Jon Snow, are you fishing for compliments?”

“Maybe a little.”

“I don’t tell you enough?”

“A girl does like to hear nice things, Sansa.”

They both dissolved into laughter. And then there was the other thing that made Jon so beautiful. His smile. “You should definitely do that more often,” she told him. 

“What’s that?”

“Smile. It brightens your whole face.”

He pondered that, then shrugged. Finally they were at the ticket booth and when she saw Jon attempt to get in front of her, she shoved him out of the way. He stumbled to the side and Sansa, trying not to laugh, asked for two tickets and paid for them. 

“You’re gonna pay for that,” Jon hissed in her ear as they made their way inside. 

She held up the tickets. “Well, technically, I just did.”

He shot her a glare and she just kissed his cheek and bounded off to the refreshment stand before he could. 

When Sansa rounded the corner with a tray of two drinks and snacks for her and Jon, she found him standing by their theater talking to some redhead. Her red hair was brighter though than Sansa’s. She was also shorter and skinnier. 

Something inside Sansa’s gut clenched at the sight of Jon laughing with this woman. And blushing. He was blushing. He had that doe-eyed look about him and Sansa felt suddenly…violent. Like she wanted to pull the woman’s hair. 

Or claw her eyes out. 

Jesus. What the fuck was wrong with her? She couldn’t actually be jealous, could she? This was _Jon_. He’d held her hair while she’d puked after getting wasted at her first party. He’d seen her first thing in the morning, something she didn’t let very many people do. He knew she sometimes snored. Not to mention that he’d practically grown up in the Stark household. He’d seen the best and worst of her; he was practically another brother to her. How could she actually be jealous if some woman wanted to pay him some attention? Hadn’t she been pointing out to him not twenty minutes ago that he was a fine specimen of a man? Now that he was actually talking to one of them she got all green with envy? It didn’t make sense. 

Sansa bit her lip as she assessed how best to give him some time with this redhead but not demand he end the conversation. So, she walked behind the redhead – short, kind of a big mouth, thin lips – and just nodded to him with a somewhat forced smile and a suggestive wag of her brows. 

“Sansa, hold on,” Jon said. 

Sansa sighed. Okay, so Jon wasn’t adept at getting the hint. 

“This is Ygritte,” Jon said and took the tray of snacks from Sansa. “Ygritte, this is Sansa. Ygritte is in my Psych class.”

He had probably totally missed how Ygritte’s face fell just a bit. A-ha! Yep, this one was definitely interested. 

“Poor Jon has to babysit me while my boyfriend is visiting home,” Sansa said. She saw Jon’s head whip in her direction out of the corner of her eye. She could practically hear him asking _Boyfriend? What boyfriend?_

Ygritte’s blue eyes brightened. “Oh?”

Sansa nodded. “It’s terrible. I miss…Jaime so much.” _Real Johnny on the spot, Sansa. Use your piano teacher’s name, why the hell not?_ “When he’s away I sit in my room and Bridget Jones it up. I eat a tub of ice cream and belt out ‘All by Myself’. My roommate can’t bear to be around me. So, Jon takes me out to save me from being murdered.”

“Well, that is very kind of our Jon,” Ygritte said with a wide smile. 

Sansa didn’t like Ygritte’s mouth. Or how she lay partial claim to Jon. Sansa knew him longer so she took precedence. 

“I’ll leave you two to talk,” Sansa said and hoped it didn’t sound like she was clenching her teeth together too tightly. “I’ll see you inside, Jon.”

“Save me—”

“The aisle seat. I know.”

She took the snack from Jon and went inside the dim theater. She couldn’t even focus. She just stood there at the top of the stairs that led down to a sea of chairs and stared at the movie screen. Some advertisement for some restaurant was on it. She felt ugly inside. Like something was twisting her insides. 

When someone knocked into her from behind, she decided she ought to move. She found two seats together and made sure to give Jon the aisle. She sat there with the snacks on her lap and chattering going on all around her. She rubbed her forehead. Was it possible that she could have a headache coming on even though she’d taken four ibuprofen just an hour ago? 

Sitting back, she dug into her coat pocket and extracted her phone. There were a bajillion texts from Margaery asking where she was. Oh yeah. She and Jon had snuck out by using the stairs…

She texted her friend telling her that she was fine and out with Jon. Then she added: _He’s talking. To a GIRL._

Margaery: _Like, a real live girl?_

Sansa: _YES_

Margaery: _Oh._

Sansa stared at her phone waiting for the bubble to pop up. Waiting for Margaery to say more. She had to have some thought about this outside of “Oh.” What the hell was that?

But, then, nothing. 

Frustrated, Sansa stuffed her phone in her pocket and sat back. 

“Hey,” Jon greeted her as he sat down beside her. He looked at her expectantly. “Jaime?”

She blinked. “What?”

“Your boyfriend Jaime?”

“Oh, that.”

“Yeah, that.”

“I was being your wingman.”

He sighed. “So that creep didn’t do something inappropriate?”

Sansa rolled her eyes. “No, Jon, Jaime didn’t do anything inappropriate. He’s my piano teacher at the college, why would he—”

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Sansa, and I don’t like it. He looks at you like he wants to…to…”

“Teach me piano? Cause that’s what he does.”

“More like he want to have you as a snack.”

“I think you’re seeing things. Maybe you should start wearing your glasses more often.”

“Sansa—”

“I just used him because it was the first name that popped in my head. I was trying to be your wingman.”

Jon just looked at her. “What?”

Sansa rolled her eyes and lifted his Milk Duds from the tray and smacked him in the stomach with them. He shot her a glare. “She’s totally into you, Jon.”

“She’s just a friend. Not even that. A classmate.”

“Yeah, but she looked at you like she wanted to have you as a snack. I was trying to walk by and let you know you could have some time with her and just meet me inside. But then you had to go and stop me.” She pulled his soda out of the tray and handed it to him. He took it and placed it in the cup holder beside him. Then she took out hers and placed it in the cup holder beside her, took the two straws from the top and opened both of them. She placed one his cup and then one in hers. Then she placed the tray on the empty seat beside her and pulled Sour Patch Kids off it. 

Jon was just staring straight ahead. He had that look of _I-am-processing-all-you-just-told-me._

“I thought maybe if you were interested in her I would pretend to have a boyfriend so she wouldn’t think I was your girlfriend,” Sansa explained. She tore into her box of Sour Patch Kids and then struggled with the plastic they were encased in as she did every single time. Jon plucked the bag out of her hands and she reached over and grabbed his Milk Duds as she always did and opened the box. She popped a couple in her mouth. 

Silently, Jon handed her the little bag of Sour Patch Kids and she handed him back his Milk Duds. Then, blessedly, the theater went dark. Sansa was done with this conversation. 

Then Jon whispered in her ear: “But he hasn’t done anything, right? I mean Dr. Lannister.”

Sansa sighed. “No, Jon.”

Satisfied, he sat back and Sansa tried to get lost in the movie (horror) and shake off the feeling that things just didn’t feel so normal anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

After the movie, Jon offered to take her out for something real to eat, but Sansa begged off. She wasn’t hungry. The Sour Patch Kids felt as though they were sitting like a glob of goo in her belly. 

As he always did, Jon insisted on walking her to her dorm before leaving her. She gave him a hug and then slipped inside the dorm. She stood at the entrance and watched him go, head down, hands in his pockets. 

Jon deserved to be happy. Whatever she was feeling was just a temporary…madness. Yes, that was it. She wasn’t actually jealous because she wanted Jon for herself – okay, well, yes, she did, but not in _that_ way. She just knew what it meant if he started dating. The girlfriend would come first and Sansa would come second. 

She placed a hand over her heart and furrowed her brow. That hurt to think about. Okay, her fall earlier must have affected her brain. Perhaps she should eat something. She had to be loopy. 

When she got to her floor, she was unnerved to find it so quiet. She felt like she had to creep down to her room. Margaery was in there, on her bed, and watching Nosferatu. 

“The floor is like super quiet right now,” Sansa whispered as she shut the door behind her and locked it. (Jon would have a conniption if she told him sometimes she and Margaery forgot to lock it at night). 

“Daenerys came home and reamed us the fuck out,” Margaery said. “I thought she was going to put us on suspension or something, but she didn’t. Just yelled a lot and told us to clean up.”

“Phew.”

Margaery smirked. “Yeah, you certainly dodged that bullet.”

Sansa went over to her bed and sat down. She kicked off her shoes and looked over at the TV. 

“Uh, so are you going to spill about Jon?” Margaery said as she sat up and shut the TV off. The only light in the room was Margaery’s desk lamp. It was rather dim. 

“I was getting snacks and he was talking to some girl named Ygritte from his psych class outside our theater,” Sansa told her. She went on to explain how she played Jon’s wingman, even if he was totally clueless about it. 

“And?” Margaery asked. 

“And what?”

“Did he ask her out?”

“No, he was completely clueless that she was crushing on him.” Sansa rolled her eyes. “You know how he is.”

Margaery just hummed her agreement and had that look on her face that told Sansa she was thinking something but wasn’t sure if she should share with the class. 

“What are you thinking?” Sansa asked. 

“How do you feel about it, Sansa?”

Sansa sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and bit down on it gently, thoughtfully. “I… it’s…”

“You fucking hate it, don’t you?”

Sansa threw up her hands. “So hard. So incredibly hard. What is wrong with me?”

Margaery smiled, but it was sympathetic which Sansa wasn’t keen on. She felt like she had to brace herself. “I think it means that you know there’s a possibility that things could change between you and Jon now.”

Sansa nodded. “Yeah, I mean, if he started dating someone I wouldn’t see him as much.”

“San…do you think…maybe…you could have feelings for Jon that are not of the sisterly sort?”

Sansa shook her head. “No. It’s Jon. It’s just Jon. It’s Jon.”

“I know who it is. And saying his name a whole lot doesn’t really give me any indication of what you’re thinking.”

“Jon is like a brother to me.”

“A brother you might want to make out with?”

“That’s gross, Margaery.”

“Yeah, but – Sansa, you and Jon have a serious –you guys act like you’re together. Minus the sex, which is weird, but you’re always together, he’s always here with you, you’re always over there with him—”

“How can he always be here with me if I’m always over there with him?”

Margaery flung one of her throw pillows at Sansa. “You know what I mean!”

Sansa sighed. “I do. I just don’t think…we’re just close is all.”

“I don’t know, Sansa, I just don’t think it’s completely out of the realm of possibilities. Seeing him talk to some girl that he could potentially ask out… I think you’re jealous. I think it stirred something up inside you that maybe you didn’t know was there.”

“I’m sorry, are we in a romantic comedy now? What is happening?”

“Make jokes if you want, San, but I think you should seriously think about it. And then decide what you’re going to do about it. If you don’t want Jon the way I think you might then fine, but if you do…well, then you might have to simply tell him how you feel. I think you might be surprised by what would happen if you did.”

Now Margaery was just talking nonsense. Jon didn’t think about her that way at all….

Sansa laid back on her bed while Margaery turned the TV back on. What if Jon did have feelings for her? No. He definitely did not. Sure he was protective of her, but he promised Robb and her entire family that he would look after her. They were each other’s slice of home so far away from it. If anything she probably drove him nuts, if by how exasperated he was with her this afternoon after the water fight was anything to go by…

No, Jon didn’t feel that way about her and she didn’t feel that way about him. He was blushing talking to Ygritte. He never blushed talking to her. She made a face. Did anyone blush talking to her? Was she blush worthy?

Okay, she was getting off track. But, perhaps that was a good thing. A good night’s rest and a fresh new day with a fresh new perspective, that’s just what she needed. 

“Hey,” Sansa said to Margaery. “Want to get a pizza?”

xxxxxxxx

“Were you out with the lovely Sansa?” Sam asked when Jon returned to his dorm, The Wall. The upper classmen’s dorms were more like suites with a general socializing area with a couch, a couple chairs, and a small kitchenette. 

Sam was reading a book on the couch when Jon had come in. “Yeah, I was,” Jon said. 

“And how is she?” Sam asked, his big brown eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled. 

Jon grinned. He knew of Sam’s little crush on Sansa. It wasn’t a serious crush that Sam had any interest in pursuing, but he still liked to ask about her. And when Sansa came around, Sam’s round face went as red as a fire truck. 

“She’s well,” Jon replied. “Next time I see her I’ll tell her you said hi.”

Sam smiled and went back to his book, his cheeks already turning pink. 

Jon entered his bedroom, shut the door, and turned on the light. He had a single. All his suite mates did. It was a pretty sweet deal. When he looked around his room now, though not quite as neat as Sansa’s room, he heard her in his head telling him to “put up some goddamn decorations already.” 

He did keep things rather sparse – just his unmade bed, his desk, night stand, and a couple bureaus. There was a framed picture of the Stark family on one, one of Sansa that she gave him for Christmas on his nightstand, and one of his adoptive parents on his desk. 

Thinking about how Sansa had been acting a little funny after the movie, he decided to send her a quick text: _Are you okay?_

While he waited for her to reply, he went to his desk and sat down in his chair. He lifted the lid of his laptop that was on his desk and searched for the bookmark of the pizza place just down the street. His phone went off, though it wasn’t a text, it was an email, and Jon picked his phone up and was surprised to see it was from Ygritte. 

_Hey Jon,_

_It was great to run into you at the theater. Did you enjoy your movie?_

_So I was wondering if maybe you’d like to get a cup of coffee together sometime? Let me know._

_Ygritte_

Jon sat back and put his phone down on his desk. Sansa had been right. Shit. Sansa had been right, and that meant she was going to lord that over his head for an eternity the way she did every time she was right about something. 

Then, shit again: Ygritte had just asked him out. 

That’s what that was, right? Getting coffee meant a date?

He didn’t know how he felt about that. Flattered, yes. But…but all he kept thinking was – how would Sansa feel about this?

It shouldn’t matter, this was his life after all and he could live it any way he saw fit, but…but he spent the majority of his time with Sansa. If he dated Ygritte – 

Okay. Wait. Coffee did not a relationship make. 

_Relax, Jon._

He’d talk about it with Sansa tomorrow and ask her what she thought. He didn’t have to do anything about this coffee invite tonight. 

Ygritte was nice enough, and quite pretty too, but he hadn’t thought about her in that way. He hadn’t thought about many women in that way for quite a while actually. Not since Val. No, actually not since – 

Not since Sansa had come barreling onto campus. From her very first day she’d arrived he’d spent every free moment with her. 

But his not dating wasn’t Sansa’s fault. Jon was just terrifically bad at dating. He had a hard time talking to women. The only one that he felt comfortable with was Sansa. Even talking with Ygritte that night had felt funny. The words just didn’t come smoothly for him and while Sansa understood that, not many others did. He was twenty-one years old and he still had a hard time talking to women. How pathetic was he? 

Well, maybe getting a coffee with Ygritte could help with that. They didn’t have to date. They could be friends. 

Jon decided to send her a quick email back and told her yes, he would like that. He even offered a time and the place – noon, and at the coffee shop Sansa liked to go to. 

Within five minutes she’d replied back agreeing to both. Jon sighed and looked at his phone again. Sansa still hadn’t replied.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone! :)

Sansa had slept like utter shit the night before. She couldn’t get comfortable, she kept tossing and turning. 

She kept thinking about Jon and Ygritte. 

Now, she sat before the baby grand in her music room waiting for Dr. Jaime Lannister to show up and she tinkered on the keys, just pressing high C and singing, “I am a freak…I need to stop thinking about it…what the fuck is wrong with meeeee?”

“New song?”

Sansa jumped and turned to find Jaime coming inside. He put a briefcase and suit jacket (he was always in a suit, sometimes with a tie, sometimes without. Today he was without) down on a desk and smiled at her. Sansa smiled back thinly and felt a blush coming on. Now she couldn’t look at Jaime without thinking about Jon had said last night about Jaime looking at her like he wanted to have her as a snack. Jaime was a handsome older guy, that much had never escaped her notice. Fair-haired, tall, and blue-eyed, Jaime held himself with confidence. He spoke with ease and nothing seemed to ruffle him. He was quite charming, which was probably what Jon mistook for him wanting her. He asked everyone to call him Jaime, but Sansa knew that was probably to distinguish himself from his brother Tyrion, another professor (of history) who did go by Dr. Lannister. 

Well, Jon was wrong. Jaime was charming to everyone, and Jon was just…paranoid. And weird. And clueless. Seriously, he even missed some girl crushing on him when it was so obvious – 

_Stop. Just stop._

“You seem down this morning, Miss Stark. Something on your mind?” Jaime asked as he came over and sat down beside her. 

“Oh, just stupid freshman girl drama,” she joked. 

“Ah, I remember having freshman boy drama. Want to tell me about it?”

She sighed. She kind of did, weirdly enough. Jaime was older, perhaps he could give her perspective. He had been the one to tell her that she should switch her major from undeclared to music. It was a source of contention with her parents that she didn’t start with a major. Her entire family seemed bent on doing something with politics or law enforcement. Their predilection had even rubbed off on Jon, though he claimed he had his own personal reasons for wanting to be an attorney. She thought perhaps it had something to do with what had happened to him before being adopted. Another thing she never asked him about. That was wrong, wasn’t it? Being as close as they were? Were they really so close then? Or was it proximity and their familial connection that dictated they be so?

Crap on a crayfish, why was she questioning her entire relationship with Jon?

“Oh, just boys,” Sansa said with a little laugh, trying to make light of the whole thing. 

He nudged her. “Tell me.”

“I have this friend. Jon.”

“The one that sometimes comes by to pick you up?”

“Yes.”

“He’s just a friend?” Jaime sounded surprised. 

Sansa sighed and buried her face in her hands. “Oh my God, you thought we were together? What is with everyone thinking we’re a couple?” She didn’t mention that Margaery knew they weren’t but just suggested that they acted like one. But if Jaime thought so too…

Jaime laughed softly. “I take it that’s a problem?”

“Jon and I are – he’s my best friend. My best guy friend. Last night we went to the movies and he ran into a classmate and I could tell she had a thing for him. He was clueless about it, but I told him he totally has a shot with this girl and now…”

“And now you’re worried he might ask her out.”

“Yes! And it’s so stupid, Jaime.” She turned slightly to face him. “I love Jon, but I don’t love Jon. My best _girl_ friend thinks we act like a couple and that my stupid jealousy and fear of him asking her out all stems from these deep buried feelings I have for him and now I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“You know yourself better than anyone, Sansa. Do you think that’s the case or is it the power of suggestion that has you second guessing everything?”

She threw up her hands. “Okay, see, yes! That’s exactly it. Margaery planted the seed – which she’s really good at – and now I’m all questioning what I truly feel for him. I mean I was, but not like that, not really.” She frowned. “Maybe a little. But in my head it was just the change in our relationship. If he started dating then it stands to reason that he won’t have as much time for me and we spend a lot of time together now.”

“Worrying about changes in a relationship as tight as yours and Jon’s is normal, Sansa. It could be that you’re feeling you could be abandoned in some way. Perhaps it also stirred up the feeling that you’d like to date, too.”

Sansa smiled. “Date. Yeah. I mean, why not, right?”

Jaime placed his hand over hers where it rested between them on the piano bench and smiled at her. Sansa looked up at him, a bit jolted by his touch. “You are a beautiful young woman, Sansa,” he said, his voice deep and slightly hypnotic. “I’m sure you could have anyone man you want.”

Sansa couldn’t seem to form words; she could only stare at him. He didn’t move, he didn’t break his gaze and then, finally, Sansa had to look away. Something had just happened there and though he didn’t look at her like he wanted her for a snack, there had still been…something. A spark of some sort. 

Her heart racing, she turned to the piano and Jaime broke the weighted silence by saying, “How about we start with what we worked on last week?”

It was business as usual from then on. If Jaime touched her arm more than usual, or lean in closer than he needed at times, Sansa just chalked it up to the moment that had passed between them earlier and it meant nothing. 

At least she didn’t think so. It probably didn’t. 

Right?

xxxxxx

Ygritte was blunt. She said what she thought and at times it felt as though she didn’t really leave a lot of room for discussion. A few times Jon felt differently than she did about what she was saying, but felt that maybe he couldn’t really say anything. 

He liked her though; she was different. She had some hard edges that he wasn’t used to, but it wasn’t necessarily bad. She reminded him of Val in some ways. He wondered if he attracted a certain type. Sansa was so different from both women. Sansa was funny in a different way – more sarcastic and less dry like Ygritte – and much more girly than Val and Ygritte. 

Ygritte liked hard rock and was a feminist to the core. Jon didn’t know if Sansa was a feminist. Ygritte wore t-shirts with bands name on them and went makeup less. Sansa didn’t leave her dorm without makeup, and she tended to dress up more than down. Sansa’s idea of dressing down was a pair of jeans and a flowing top of some sort that hugged her curves. 

Jon had seen Ygritte show up to their psych class with pajama bottoms and bedhead. Sansa was always always perfectly put together, her hair always sleek and soft looking. 

“I had fun,” Ygritte said after Jon had finished buying Sansa her favorite indulgence at this particular coffee shop – a cheese Danish. 

They walked outside together and Jon smiled shyly at her. “I did, too. Thanks for e-mailing me.”

Ygritte grinned at him and before he could say anything else, she kissed him. Jon didn’t have enough time to even react before she was pulling away and sauntering off, one hand up in the air and calling out, “See you later, Jon Snow!” 

Jon just stood there, gobsmacked and disoriented. He rubbed the back of his neck in what Sansa called his ‘nervous tick’ and he went to his car (an old Honda Civic), feeling as though he was floating. He placed the white paper bag with Sansa’s Danish on the passenger side seat and then he just sat there, hand on the steering wheel, and stared out the window. Slowly, a smile spread across his face. 

Well, that had been quite a success then. 

xxxxxxxx

Sansa was sitting in the quad on a bench, she had her legs crossed and was hunched over one of her textbooks for English when someone sat down beside her and placed a wrinkled white paper bag on her book. 

She looked over at Jon. “Hey.”

He smiled. “Hey.”

Jon smiles were rare. Especially ones that lit up his whole face. She smiled back. “What’s up?” She gestured to the bag. “What’s this?”

“Look inside.”

So she did and then squealed as she dug the Danish out of the bag. “You went without me, you brat!”

He laughed. “Yes, I did. I, uh, I went with Ygritte.”

Sansa paused mid-bite. Sugar dissolved on her tongue. It tasted like ash. She finished taking the huge chunk out of her Danish and nodded slowly. “Oh?”

“Yeah, she e-mailed me last night so you’re uh, ‘wingman’ stuff worked.”

“Fantastic,” Sansa said around a mouthful of Danish. 

“She even kissed me.”

Sansa dumped the rest of the cheese Danish in the bag. 

“What’s wrong? Is it not good?” Jon asked. 

“It’s fine. I’m just not hungry.”

He frowned. “You said that last night, too. Are you feeling okay, San?”

“Peachy, with a side of keen.”

“You don’t sound fine… and you won’t look at me.” He put his hand on the side of her face and turned her head to face him. “San, what’s going on?”

She looked at Jon, her Jon, and knew that Jaime had been right. Things were changing between her and Jon or rather, he was and she wasn’t. He went on a date. He got kissed. And he seemed so very happy about it. 

He’d thought of her though. He’d brought her the Danish. He knew it was her favorite and so she’d been on his mind in some capacity…but why did it hurt so much that he’d been there with someone else? That he hadn’t been thinking of her when he’d gotten kissed, that he hadn’t even told her this morning he was going on a date. 

Why was she being so covetous and selfish when it came to him? Margaery had really gotten in her head this time…

Sansa pulled his hand away and unfolded her legs. She got up, book in hand, and grabbed her backpack that was sitting on the ground. “I need to get to class.”

“Sansa, you don’t have class for a half an hour,” Jon pointed out. 

“I need to speak with Dr. Lannister before then about my paper.”

“What is going on with you?” Jon demanded. He sounded angry now. 

“Nothing, geez! Relax!”

“Can I see you later?”

“Um, no, I think Margaery and I are going out tonight.” She started running off before he could go after her or say something else. “I’ll call you!”

Sansa ran until she was inside the building for her next class. Once inside, she ran up to the second floor where her class was and sank down onto the floor outside her classroom. 

Her stomach growled and she dug in her bag for the Danish, even if it tasted like bitterness and confusion. She sighed when she realized she’d left it on the bench. _That’s telling_ , she thought and buried her face in her hands.


	5. Chapter 5

“I hate you,” Sansa said to Margaery later that evening as she lay face down on her bed, her face buried in her pillow. “This is all your fault.”

“ _My_ fault? How is this my fault? If I were you I would have gone up to Jon and put my arm around him instead of playing his fucking wingman,” Margaery retorted. 

Sansa turned her head so she could breathe and look at her friend. “But now I’m all…I don’t know what I am, but I’m not happy! Oh, no. I’m being a terrible friend. I should be happy for Jon. I should be helping him further, giving him advice and getting all giddy with him—”

“Yeah. Cause that’s what Jon does. He gets giddy.”

Sansa glared as best she could with only one half of her face showing. “Well, you should have seen him today! He was glowing. It was like he swallowed the sun.”

“Do you pay any attention at all to anything?” Margaery asked in exasperation. 

“What are you even talking about?”

“Sansa, Jon looks at you like that all the time! He looks at you like you are the bloody sun!” 

“He does _not_!” Sansa shouted, getting angry now. 

“He so does!”

Sansa decided she’d rather suffocate and so she stuffed her face back into the pillow. 

“Come on,” Margaery said and Sansa felt the bed dip as her friend sat down. “Let’s go out. There’s a party tonight Theon Greyjoy is having at his apartment.”

“Ugh. The one that he shares with that dick Ramsay Bolton. I hate that guy!”

“Chin up, little dove,” Margaery cooed. “There’s going to be a shit ton of people there, you won’t even have to talk to our illustrious hosts if you don’t want to.”

xxxxxxx

Sansa had gotten to know Ramsay Bolton and Theon Greyjoy through Margaery. Margaery knew everyone on campus it felt like – especially if they partied hard like she did. Ramsay and Theon threw a party almost every weekend. 

Sansa was always cordial to both of them, but she really didn’t like either of them very much. Ramsay always sought her out and flirted with her despite the fact that she made it very plain she wasn’t interested. The only time he left her alone was when Jon was with her, and Sansa suspected that Ramsay was actually a little afraid of Jon. 

Sure, Jon seemed rather harmless, but Sansa knew from the few fights he and Robb had gotten in, in high school that if provoked, Jon could definitely hold his own. 

But, without Jon as her protective shield and Margaery off getting drunk and probably hooking up with some random guy, Sansa was left to her own devices. Tonight, Ramsay seemed extra annoying and quite grabby. After the third hug in a half an hour, Sansa had had enough. 

“Ramsay, seriously, back off,” she told him, and all but shoved him off her. 

His eyes were glazed over and he mock pouted. She rolled her eyes. 

“You have never liked me, have you?” he asked, slurring his words. 

“I like you fine,” Sansa said. While she wanted to say ‘no, you’re annoying as fuck’ she still couldn’t be that rude, even if did deserve it. 

“Sansa, Sansa, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind!” Ramsay sang. 

“Oh my God,” Sansa muttered and shook her head. She couldn’t help but at least laugh a little. 

Ramsay beamed, looking like he’d won something. Theon came over then and whispered in Ramsay’s ear. Ramsay rolled his eyes and his expression darkened considerably. “Excuse me, Sansa,” he said and marched off with Theon in tow. 

Sansa thought perhaps this was a good time to leave. She wasn’t in a party mood, and hadn’t wanted to come in the first place. She just wanted to take a shower, crawl into bed, and watch TV. 

She sent Margaery a text because that was easier than looking for her, and then left, placing a red Solo cup of warm beer on a tableful of other red Solo cups. 

She had just gotten down the stairs of the apartment building and had walked no more than fifty feet when she heard Ramsay shouting her name. She sighed heavily, rolled her eyes, and turned around. 

“Where are you going?” he asked as he jogged over to her. 

“Back to my dorm. I’m tired and just not in the mood for a party.”

“Come on, Sansa,” Ramsay said and grabbed her hand. “Stay. We’ll do a couple shots, find somewhere quiet to talk…” He grinned. “Or whatever.”

Sansa slipped her hand out of his. “I don’t think so, Ramsay. Good night.”

She started to turn around, but he grabbed her arm and tugged on it. “Sansa, do you ever just get tired of playing hard to get?”

Was he serious?

She attempted to pull her arm from his grasp, but he held on. A little tightly, too. “Ramsay, seriously, come on. I’m not playing hard to get. I just want to go home.”

“You never talk to me. You come to my parties and just find ways to get away from me,” he said, his voice beginning to rise. “I try to be nice to you, to show you that I like you, and you give me nothing in return.”

She tried again to free her arm. His hands tightened. She winced. “Ramsay, let me go.”

“No, I want to know what your problem is with me. I want to why I’m good enough to visit when you have a party, but otherwise you act like a frigid uptight bitch with me.”

His face was twisting into anger and it was not a pretty sight. Sansa felt panic begin to rise up within her. He wouldn’t let her go and his fingers were digging into her arms. She knew they were going to leave a mark. “I do like you,” she said, trying to muster up as much calmness as she could. He was drunk and apparently prone to mood swings when so inebriated so she just had to placate him. Find a way to get him to let her go. 

“Then why don’t you come back to the party and let’s find somewhere quiet where we can be alone,” he said and started to pull her closer. 

Sansa dug in her heels. “Ramsay, no.”

“This is what I mean, Sansa! You’re doing it again. You tell me you like me and then you tell me no.” He wrenched her toward him and she stumbled and fell into him. “You’re a fucking tease,” he hissed, spittle hitting her in the face, his eyes wild and his face red. 

“Let me go,” she said, trying not to let her fear get the better of her. “Please, Ramsay, just let me go. You’re hurting me.”

“Give me a little kiss and maybe I’ll consider it.”

“No, not like this.” _Not ever._

He turned and started to pull her with him. “Let’s go, Sansa. Let’s find that quiet place.”

She dug in her heels hard, pulling against him. “No, let me go! Ramsay, stop!”

He let go so abruptly that she fell on her rump, and he growled and stalked over to her. She crawled away from him, backwards, trying to put some distance between them, trying to not turn her back on him. When a car slowed down beside them, Sansa jumped up, ready to shout for them to help her. 

And then she heard the voice of her savior asking, “What’s going on out here?" It was Jaime. He got out of the car and Ramsay ran. 

Jaime went over to her as relief flooded her and she started to cry from it. That, and the fear of what Ramsay could have done to her. Jaime placed his hand on her face gently. "Sansa, what happened?"

"Ramsay, he wouldn't leave me alone," Sansa said through her tears. “He called me a tease, he grabbed my arm and wouldn’t let me go. I fell trying to get away from him.”

Jaime’s expression darkened. "What's his last name?"

"Bolton."

Jaime's expression darkened. "I will take care of him, Sansa."

"Thank you," she said and wiped furiously at her tears. 

“Come on, let's get you out of here."

He led her to his car, opened the passenger side door for her, and she slid inside. He drove a BMW. Of course he drove a BMW. It smelled brand new and looked that way, too. 

"How would you like a drink to take the edge off?" he asked as he climbed inside. 

"I'm not twenty-one," she said dumbly. 

He smiled. "I won't tell if you won't tell."

Sansa nodded. She felt safe now. Safe with Jaime. Her thoughts drifted to Jon, and she thought about calling him, but then decided against it. Not now. Not until she was calmer. If she freaked out on the phone to him, he would freak out too. Knowing Jon, he'd go after Ramsay and that would just be a mess. Better to let Jaime handle Ramsay. 

"Are you all right, Sansa?" Jaime asked gently. 

She nodded and mumbled despondently, "I feel stupid."

"For what?"

"I didn't even want to go to that stupid party. I hate Theon Greyjoy and Ramsay even more. I let Margaery talk me into going anyway. I just wanted to get out and forget about Jon and Ygritte drinking _my_ coffee and having _my_ Danishes together."

"...Pardon?"

"Nothing, it's nothing," Sansa said and just looked out the window. "Jon went out with that girl."

"And he drank your coffee and ate your Danishes?"

"He took her to my favorite coffee shop."

"Ah, I see. And it felt like a betrayal."

She pursed her lips together. She was so fucking tired of thinking about Jon and Ygritte. "Jaime, can we talk about something else now, please? I am so over this thing with Jon."

He reached over and placed a hand on hers. "We can talk about anything you want, Sansa." He squeezed her hand gently and then put it back on the wheel. 

Sansa stared down at the hand he'd just touched. She could still feel his warmth. She shuddered out a breath and sat further back in the seat. "I'm glad you were driving by when you were," she said softly. 

"I'm glad too," he said. 

xxxxxxx

Jaime Lannister lived in a mansion. Not that Sansa wasn't unaccustomed to mansions - her family was very well off - but it still took Sansa's breath away when she saw the house that looked like a castle. Set on a hill with lights hitting the front of the house and along the brick walkway to the house, not to mention the grand stair case that led up to the front door and the porch. It was Victorian, huge, and gorgeous. There was even a balcony jutting out of the second floor and Sansa just wanted to run her fingers along the ornate woodwork. 

"Jaime, your house is beautiful," Sansa breathed. 

He chuckled softly. "Why, thank you. I got it in the divorce."

"Oh. Um - I'm sorry?"

"No, no. Don't be. It's better this way. Cersei didn't have the same love for this house as I did."

Once he'd parked in the two car garage in the back (his other car was a sleek silver corvette), Jaime led Sansa up the front so she could take it all in. All Sansa could do was gape. She wondered who decorated the house because as they passed by room after room after room, all she could do was marvel at how gorgeous each carpet, each vase, each extravagant lamp looked. It was like stepping back in time. 

"I know I keep saying it, but your house is seriously so beautiful, Jaime," Sansa said once they'd reached the kitchen - which was definitely modern and massive. There was a fireplace in the kitchen complete with an Oriental rug and rocking chairs all around it. 

Jaime just smiled as Sansa wandered over to the fireplace. She just looked out at the sleek stone countertops, the silver of the appliances, and the long table at the other end of the room with dark heavy looking chairs. 

Jaime was at the fridge and broke her out of her ponderings by asking, "Would you like a martini?"

Sansa had never had one, but she nodded. "Yes, please."

 

"You can sit," he said softly and gestured to a rocking chair. "Please."

She sat. And didn't know what else to do. Or say.

"Tell me the story of your life, Sansa," Jaime said. She looked over at him and watched him prepare their drinks. 

"The story of my life?” she asked with a little laugh. ”I haven't lived much life. Tell me about yours instead. Have you traveled?"

"Yes. To Paris, Sweden, Germany--" 

"Tell me about Paris," Sansa said and she hoped she didn't sound as dreamy as she felt. 

She wasn't sure what it was, the sound of Jaime's voice or how he could tell a story and make you feel as if you were there with him, but she hung on every word he said. Before she knew she had downed two martinis and was feeling mighty good. 

"I better take you back to your dorm," he said and held out his hand for her glass. She handed it to him and stood and he smiled at her and gently. 

"Thank you, Jaime," she said softly. 

"You’re welcome."

When Jaime pulled up in front of her dorm he said, “I don’t think I need to tell you that it wouldn’t be a good idea to tell anyone you were at my house having a couple martinis.”

“Of course!” Sansa assured him. “No way.”

He smiled and then grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Good night, Sansa. And please, don’t worry about Ramsay Bolton. He won’t be bothering you or anyone else for a long time.”

Sansa beamed at him, her heart thudding hard in her chest. “Thank you. Good night, Jaime.”

“Goodnight, Sansa.”


	6. Chapter 6

Sansa awoke the next morning to someone pounding on the door. Margaery shot out of bed and stumbled to the door, hair all over the place and shouted, “ _What?!_ ” at the person on the other side. Sansa curled up into a ball and burrowed deep into the covers so that only the top of her cheek and up was showing. 

Sansa wasn’t even aware of what time Margaery had come home the night before. She must have been out cold and for Margaery it must have been late. She wondered if her friend knew anything about what had happened with Ramsay. Probably not. 

“Jesus fuck, Jon!” Maergery exclaimed. “Sansa, your boyfriend is here.”

Sansa didn’t move. She did however plan right then and there to murder Margaery later for that comment. 

Jon looked like a veritable thundercloud as he stepped into the room and pointedly slammed the door, glaring at Margaery’s back as he did so. Sansa smiled under the covers. 

Margaery flipped Jon off without even turning around and then crawled back in her bed and flung the covers and a pillow over her head. 

Jon came over to Sansa’s bed and peered closely at her. When he saw that her eyes were open, he sat down on the bed. “We usually meet for breakfast at the cafeteria,” he told her. “You weren’t there. We also meet after our first class and you weren’t there. Sansa, it’s noon. Why are you still in bed?”

Sansa hadn’t realized it was so late. She flipped the covers down and gaped at him. “It’s noon?!” She struggled to sit up to look at her alarm clock, except it was faced away from her. She reached out to turn it towards her when she felt Jon’s hand on her arm. He pulled her arm gently towards him. 

His brows were knit together in question and she looked down to see what he was looking at. The bruises on her arm where Ramsay had grabbed her. It all came rushing back to her and she shivered. 

“What happened to your arm, Sansa?” Jon asked softly. “Are those fingerprints? They look like fingerprints.”

She thought about lying and making up some silly story about her and Margaery goofing off, but this was Jon. She couldn’t lie to Jon. She didn’t want to lie to Jon. 

“Sansa?”

She made a face and sighed. “You have class soon.”

He looked at her searchingly. He knew something was up, she could tell by the set of his jaw, and he was determined to find out what it was. “I’ll skip.”

“Jon Snow, why I never!” Sansa mock gasped. 

He shot her a look. “I’ve been known to do it.”

“All right, can I just shower really quick?”

He nodded and ran a hand through her hair. “Of course, sweetling.”

The gesture and the words were just so sweet and Sansa feels as though something inside her shifted and expanded. What it was, she didn’t know, but that’s what it felt like. She took a minute to just look at him before she climbed out of the bed, grabbed her things for the shower, and rushed off. 

When she returned, dressed and feeling human again, she found Jon sitting on her bed and rifling through one of her books as he sat back against her pillows. It was a sight she had seen often, but for some reason this time it feels different. Like she was seeing him for the first time. 

He looked up at her and put the book down. “Ready?”

She nodded and after she put her things away and grabbed her purse, they were out the door. 

Once in the elevator, Jon moved closer to her and lifted her arm, pushing away her sleeve. He frowned. The bruises were red and purple and round. “What did you do, Sansa?” he asked her. 

“Ramsay Bolton kind of…got aggressive,” she blurted out.

“What do you mean he got aggressive?” Jon asked, his voice even and low. For Jon, that was the calm before the storm. 

“He grabbed me and wouldn’t let go. It was so stupid, I didn’t even want to go to that party and I let Margaery talk me into it—”

“What else did he do to you? Did he…?”

“No! Jaime came by before he could do anything else.”

“Jaime – Dr. Lannister? What the hell was he doing there?!”

“Ssshhh!” Sansa hissed. The elevator dinged open and Sansa pulled him with her out of the dorm to the outside and then into the parking lot – away from eyes and ears. 

Sansa can feel Jon practically vibrating with suppressed rage. “What the fuck is going on, Sansa?”

She told him about the party, how Ramsay was all hugging her and getting in her space and she told him to back off. “Then Theon came over to tell him something and he and Ramsay went off together. I decided to leave and I hadn’t gotten very far when Ramsay came after me. He was drunk, slurring his words, and going on about how he’s always nice to me and I just find ways not to talk to him. I told him I just wanted to go home and he asked me to come back to the party and we’d find a quiet place to talk ‘or whatever’.”

Sansa was pretty sure the vein in Jon’s forehead was going to erupt. 

“I told him no and he grabbed me and started saying I was a tease and he wouldn’t let me go. He got in my face, all angry and just would not let go. Then he started to pull me back to the house and I was trying to just get him to release me and he wouldn’t. Finally, he did and then I fell down and he started coming after me again and then Jaime drove up.”

“He drove up?”

“Yes, he was just, I don’t know, passing by in his car and must have seen me and Ramsay – and thank God he did. Ramsay ran off like the chicken shit he is.”

Jon’s hands were balled into fists at his sides. “I’m going to kill Ramsay Bolton,” he seethed and started to march off. Sansa ran in front of him and placed her hands on his chest. “Jon, no, no, you can’t. Jaime said he’d take care of it.”

“He hurt you, Sansa! He put his hands on you; he bruised you, and if Dr. Lannister hadn’t shown up he could have – I’m going to fucking kill him!”

Sansa didn’t know how to stop a charging bull like Jon so she did the only think she could think to do. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. “You can’t, Jon. You beat him up and you’ll just get in trouble. Jaime said he’d take care of Ramsay. Just let him take care of that little prick. Please.”

She held on tight, wishing she could somehow absorb his anger into herself. She felt his arms encircle her and slowly, by degrees, his body relaxed. She felt him press a kiss to her temple and she smiled. 

“Sansa,” he said softly. “Why didn’t you call me?”

This part was actually the hardest to explain…

“Because I got in really late…Jaime took me to his house.” She felt Jon stiffen again. “We just had a couple drinks and talked and then he took me back here.”

Jon pushed her away from him, not harshly, but not exactly gentle either. He looked at her, angry again. “He took you to his house?”

Sansa nodded. “Nothing happened, Jon, I swear—”

“He had no business taking you to his house, Sansa!” Jon shouted. “He’s your teacher, you’re his student – he’s much older than you and you are nineteen fucking years old!”

“You can’t tell anyone, Jon, please? He could get into a lot of trouble—”

“As he should! What were you thinking? What if he slipped something in your drink? What if he tried to take advantage of you while you were upset? Why didn’t you call me?”

“Jaime wouldn’t—”

“Stop calling him that for the love of God,” Jon spat. “He is your professor.”

“Everyone calls him Jaime.”

“I don’t care what everyone does, Sansa. I care what you do.”

“Yeah, I know. You made a promise to my parents and to Robb to protect me, right?” Now she was angry. “Well, guess what, you weren’t there last night and Jaime was.”

He looked at her as though she’d slapped him. He pursed his lips together and just looked at her. “You’re not this naïve, Sansa. You must know that your precious Jaime wasn’t just looking to comfort you. He wants you.”

“Oh my God, he does not,” she said in exasperation and threw up her hands. “And you know what? So what if he does? Maybe I wouldn’t mind him wanting me. You’ve got Ygritte, why can’t I have someone?”

Jon stepped in closer to her and got in her face. “Not your professor, Sansa. _Not_ him.” 

Annoyed, Sansa pushed away from him and said nastily, “Oh, grow up, Jon.”

“No, Sansa, you grow up. You’re acting like a child. A child that doesn’t know any better.”

“Fuck you, Jon, seriously, fuck you.”

He stormed off then, leaving her standing there shaking in anger and hurt and then dissolving finally into tears.


	7. Chapter 7

Jon couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so angry with Sansa. Actually, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this angry period. His fists were clenched together so tight his hands were aching. He wanted to hit something – no, he wanted to hit someone. A couple someone’s. First, Ramsay _fucking_ Bolton and then Dr. Jaime Lannister. How could Sansa be so naïve as to think Dr. Lannister merely took her to his home just to comfort her? He wanted to comfort her all right. Comfort her right into his bed. 

Dr. Lannister was a predator, Jon knew it. He saw it. He hated the way the other man looked at Sansa. Like she was his favorite treat and he meant to consume her. Sansa being Sansa was completely oblivious of course. Even after he took her to his house and plied her with drinks, she still thought that he was just some good stand-up guy that just wanted to make her feel better? 

Jon hated that he wasn’t there at that party with Sansa. He hated the way Ramsay looked at her, too. What had she been thinking going to that party? He was sure that was all Margaery and man did he want to give her a piece of his mind, too. Why hadn’t she been looking out for Sansa? Margaery knew that Ramsay was a creep with a hard-on for Sansa, why the hell didn’t Margaery make sure that little prick stayed away from her?

And why did she not call him? She should have called him right away and not gone to Dr. Lannister’s home. He was the one that should have been with her. 

He failed her, or at least that’s how he felt. He was supposed to be looking out for her. He’d promised Ned and Catelyn. He’d promised Robb. He’s also promised Sansa, and now look. She had a horrifying experience and he wasn’t there to protect her, to take care of her. 

Jon marched into his dorm and slammed the door to the suite behind him with such force, he heard the windows rattle. He was about to storm into his room when he heard a soft voice say, “Jon?”

He looked over and there was Ygritte. And Sam. It appeared they were playing a video game – Sam must have lugged out his television and X-box. He blinked, surprised to see her there. 

She jumped up, dumping her controller on the couch. “I came by to see if you wanted to get lunch or something. If you didn’t have class or anything, that is.” She frowned. “You ok? What’s wrong?”

Jon wasn’t sure how he felt seeing Ygritte here. He wasn’t really in the mood to deal with anything or anyone. What he wanted to do was track down Ramsay and beat the shit out of him. Then he wanted to track down Dr. Lannister and tell him in no uncertain terms to leave Sansa alone. 

But Sansa had asked him to keep quiet. To not do anything. Jon didn’t like it. He felt…neutered. Disarmed. It wasn’t a comfortable feeling. And when he thought about how she hadn’t called him, how she’d been too wrapped up in Dr. Lannister to let him know what had happened to her…

Logically, he knew that she didn’t have to do that. That she was allowed to come and go as she pleased, and that he couldn’t be there for everything. He knew that. But his fear for what could have happened to Sansa overrode all of that logic. It twisted his gut to think of what Ramsay could have done and then to think of how Dr. Lannister could have taken advantage in her fragile state. 

If Sansa wanted to date, if she wanted to have someone as she’d so expressed, then she should be with someone her own age for one, and for another, with someone that isn’t her teacher. She deserved to be wooed. She deserved flowers and pretty words and to be swept off her feet – not hushed meetings in some professor’s home. She would be his toy and nothing else and it made Jon’s blood boil to think about it. 

“Jon?”

Jon looked at Ygritte, forgetting for a minute that she was there. “I’m – I’m not in the best mood. I just… I got into an argument with Sansa.”

Ygritte frowned. “Your friend Sansa? The one I met at the movie theater?”

“Yes, that Sansa. The one and only, thank the Gods,” he muttered. 

Ygritte arched a brow. “Did something happen with her boyfriend or something?”

Oh, that’s right Ygritte thought Sansa had a boyfriend. Jon sighed and raked a hand through his hair. “She doesn’t have a boyfriend, Ygritte,” he told her. “She only said that to play my ‘wingman’.”

Ygritte’s expression went from shocked to puzzled and then to a smile. “So then she doesn’t truly have an interest in you. Romantically, I mean.”

“No.” And why did that make him inwardly wince?

“She’s a good friend then, don’t you think?” 

She was a good friend. She looked out for him as much as he looked out for her…sort of. Sansa made sure he went out, did things, had fun. Jon made sure Sansa stayed out of trouble, and when she got into it he got her out of it. Sansa had always been rather naïve. She never wanted to hurt anyone’s feelings – which is probably why Ramsay got away with far more than he would have with anyone else. If it had been her younger sister Arya, Ramsay would have gone away with his tail between his legs the first time he ever attempted to flirt with her. 

Sansa had always been cossetted by Robb and her parents. She had lived in a world of fairytales, believing that everyone she came in contact with would be as wonderful to her as her siblings – perhaps save for Arya. But even if those two could fight like cats and dogs, there was still love there and Sansa knew it. 

She wanted to see the best in people even when they gave her no reason to. So, she didn’t see Dr. Lannister for what he was. In her mind he was some kind of knight that had come along to save her. 

_I should have been there_ , Jon thought for the hundredth time. _I’m the one that’s always there._

“What was the fight about?” Ygritte asked. 

Jon couldn’t tell her, and what was more he didn’t want to. He wouldn’t implicate Sansa in any way and it rattled him to think that Ygritte would think less of her if he told her about Sansa going to Dr. Lannister’s. He could be upset with Sansa and think her naïve and reckless, but no one else was allowed to. 

“It’s nothing, forget it,” he muttered. “If you want to do lunch, we can.” He doesn’t want to, not really, not when he’s still angry and wanting to hurt someone. But perhaps the best course of action at this point in time is distraction. 

Ygritte smiled. “Maybe I can get you to tell me what the fight was about.”

“Nah, forget it. It’s not a big deal.” _Except that it is._

She didn’t look like she believed him, but then she slipped her arm through his and bid Sam goodbye. She led him out of the dorm and once outside, she kissed him. It was longer this time. With tongue. 

Jon felt some of his anger dissipate and wondered if perhaps this was for the best. Distance from Sansa. He had his own life to lead just as she did. Maybe what she needed was to stumble and fall, to be allowed to do just that in order to learn. 

He feels resolved in this. He can do this. Distance between him and Sansa will be a good thing. But his resolve dissipated the second he saw Dr. Lannister in the quad, presumably on the way to a class. Jon stared at him, willing the other man to look his way. 

“Who are you glaring at?” Ygritte asked. 

Jon clenched his jaw and forced himself to look away from Dr. Lannister. “No one.”

xxxxxx

Ramsay was expelled from school. 

Sansa had been called to meet with the President of the college to relay to her what had happened between her and Ramsay. Jaime had been there the whole time with her and later, when they met for her lessons, she’d hugged him when he told her that Ramsay was asked to leave the school. 

“He was contrite,” Jaime explained as he told Sansa how Ramsay’s meeting with the President had gone. “I think he thought if he acted sorry enough he would be granted leniency. Our fearless leader doesn’t tolerate assault of any kind, so he was asked to leave.”

“Thank you so much, Jaime,” Sansa gushed. “Oh, you have no idea how nice it is to know I don’t have to run into that slime on campus now. The very thought of it actually terrified me.”

And since she and Jon were apparently not talking, and hadn’t been for the past four days, she didn’t have him around to act as a buffer. That was fine. She was a big girl and she’d handled it. She didn’t need Jon to protect her; she could take care of herself. 

“I thought perhaps we could celebrate,” he said. 

“Oh?”

“I was thinking dinner? At my place?”

Sansa’s heart started to race. Maybe Jon had been right. Maybe Jaime did want her. When she thought of how she’d caught glimpses of Jon and Ygritte around campus – was she permanently in his pocket now? – she thought maybe she wanted Jaime, too. 

Why couldn’t she have her own fun? Her own guy? Jaime was handsome, intelligent, witty, charming, and he’d saved her from Ramsay. He wasn’t like the stupid boys she attended classes with. He was _mature._

And, he obviously thought she was too or he wouldn’t even bother with her. She was something special to him. She smiled shyly. “I’d like that.”

As they made plans for that Friday night – he’d pick her up off campus so they wouldn’t be seen— part of Sansa knew this wasn’t exactly right. The element of having to hide what they were doing made her feel uneasy. Jon would have a shit fit if he found out. If he even cared anymore about her. He and Ygritte were an item now apparently, he didn’t seem to need her or care what she did, so fuck him. 

Besides, it could be fun being all covert op about this. To have a secret and be all clandestine about it. In some way it made her feel more grown-up. Jon had told her to grow up and stop being naïve. Well, she wasn’t being naïve. She knew exactly what she was doing and she was prepared for it. A possible mature affair with an older man? 

Bring. It. On.


	8. Chapter 8

Jon missed Sansa. It was actually quite pathetic how much he missed her after four days. But, to be fair, this was the longest they’d gone without some kind of contact. A text message, a phone call, an email – there was always something if they weren’t physically hanging out together. Now it was just radio silence. 

Where there was an absence of Sansa, there was an abundance of Ygritte. They had figured out when they both had breaks between classes and so they met up after or before, had dinner together, hung out in his dorm…made out. 

Jon had only been with Val and he found that she and Ygritte were not that different in their approach to all things sexual. Both were straight-forward about the whole thing. When Ygritte wanted him to touch her in a certain way, she would put his hand there or tell him to put his hand there – wherever ‘there’ was. 

He felt…untrained. He was definitely not aggressive when it came to anything involving sex. He actually kind of feared the moment when things advanced to actual sex. He could easily imagine Ygritte as the dominatrix sort. Honestly, it was a bit of a downer to have her tell him what to do all the time. Jon wanted to be able to explore, not be told what to do. 

But, he was still a guy and he was still getting something (hand job) so he couldn’t exactly complain, could he?

But he missed Sansa. 

Friday evening he went to her dorm to see her and ended up catching her as she was on her way out. She was dressed up, in a dress – black, a bit short, but modest at the top, and flats. Her hair was pulled away from her face, but fell down around her shoulders. She didn’t see him at first, fiddling with something in some black purse she was carrying, until Jon reached out and touched her arm. “San.”

She looked up, startled. “Oh! Hey! How are you?”

He smiled at her. “I miss you.”

Hurt flashed across her features and Jon hated himself in that moment. He never wanted to be the one to hurt Sansa, and yet he had. 

“You’ve been busy,” she said and stepped away from him. 

He frowned at the distance she put between them. “I acted like an ass,” he admitted. “I know I did. I’m sorry.”

She fidgeted with her purse. “Forget it.”

“No, I can’t forget it. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. It’s just that I worry about you, Sansa. I don’t – I couldn’t – if anything happened to you—”

“I know,” she said softly. “You’d have a lot of explaining to do, right?”

“Sansa, no—”

“I release you from your duties as protector,” she said with a forced smile. 

“You mean more to me than someone I was asked to look after,” he told her. This was not the way he’d imagined this conversation going. That she saw herself just as someone he had to play bodyguard for was irksome. “Sansa, you’re my best friend.”

“Robb is your best friend.”

He tried not to let his annoyance show. “Fine, then you’re my best girlfriend.”

“Shouldn’t that go to your girlfriend?”

“It’s been a week, I don’t know if I’d call her my girlfriend, but no. You are.”

She pursed her lips together and then sighed and shook her head. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Do you have a few minutes so we can talk? Where are you off to? You’re all dressed up.”

“I…” she averted her eyes and then looked back at him. “I have a date.”

Jon felt as though ice had settled over him. “Oh? With who?” He hoped he sounded nonchalant because he didn’t _feel_ nonchalant. 

“You don’t know him,” she said hastily and her eyes darted away from him. 

Jon’s eyes narrowed. “Sansa, please tell me it’s not Dr. Lannister.” If it was, he was going to pummel the guy into the middle of next week. Or report him. Possibly both. 

“No! Geez, Jon. You were right about me being stupid about that. I’m not going to do anything with him. And he doesn’t even see me that way anyway…”

He doubted that very much, but if what he’d said four days ago had penetrated her sometimes thick head then he’d go with it. “So, who is this guy I don’t know? Does he have a name?”

“Hmm?”

“Does he have a name, this guy you’re going on a date with?” 

“It’s um, Dr…ogo. Drogo.” 

“Are you sure?”

“I always pronounce it wrong, you know how that must go dating a girl with a name like Regret.”

“Ygritte.”

“To-may-toe, To-mah-to, whatever.”

“Sansa—”

“So, I’m gonna go,” she started walking backwards away from him, “meet my date…like ya do…”

“Where is he taking you?” Jon asked and took a step towards her. 

“To dinner.”

“ _Where_?”

“Jesus, have I asked you where you’ve taken what’s-her-face?”

“Why are you getting so snippy with me?”

“Because I have to go and you’re asking twenty questions.”

“Why isn’t he picking you up here?” 

She threw up her hands in exasperation. “Exhibit A. Goodnight, Jon.”

She hurried off before Jon could ask her something else and for half a minute he considered following her to see what this Drogo looked like. For the second time in four days Jon very much wanted to hit something. No. Some _one_. 

xxxxxxxx

Sansa was nervous about her date with Jaime – was it a date? It was dinner at his house, so that had to be a date, right? Or was she being too “little girl” about it and thinking it was something all romantic when he just thought of her as a student and a friend?

Either way, she was still nervous, and running into Jon had thrown her off. After four days of no contact, she had been happy to see him. Well, happy and sad. All she kept thinking when she did see him was _He’s with Ygritte. He has a girlfriend. You are no longer important to him anymore._ Then she thought of the things that Jon probably did with her, like fool around. Had they had sex yet? It hurt her heart to think of that. 

When he’d asked about her date (is it a date?), she had realized that if she told Jon she was going to Jaime’s again he would have a canary. Then she’d had to pause as the image of a canary flying out of Jon’s rear end invaded her mind. 

She’d thought fast and came up with her RA’s boyfriend’s name as a way to cover where she was really going. Jon bought it, or at least she thought he did. She hoped he did. Granted, he’d gotten all protective again a la Robb, but that was probably because that was exactly how he saw himself: her big brother on campus while her actual big brother was not around. 

What did Ygritte have that Sansa didn’t, she couldn’t help but wonder. She and Jon had been close – she didn’t feel so close to him right now – they spent every minute together practically, what was it that kept him from ever feeling anything for her? And why the hell was she thinking about this? 

Now, in Jaime’s car, Sansa just wanted to focus on him and them, if there was a them, and not Jon and his stupid girlfriend (even if he did say he didn’t know if he’d call her that!).

“You’re quiet,” Jaime said. 

“I know,” she said with a little laugh. 

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”

Well, that was one way to derail the obsessively-thinking-about-Jon-train she’d been on. She felt her cheeks redden and she smiled in what she hoped was a coy manner. “Thank you,” she said. “You always look handsome though, Jaime, I don’t think I need to tell you that.”

He grinned. “Why thank you, Sansa. So, I’ve made us lasagna. And by made it I mean I ordered it from the Il Forno in town.”

Sansa laughed. “That sounds wonderful.”

“I thought after dinner we could go outside on my deck. I hear there is supposed to be a meteor shower tonight and I thought we could use my telescope to check it out.”

Sansa beamed at him. “That sounds so awesome.”

As soon as the words were out of her mouth she wished she could take them back. She sounded like a high schooler. Granted, she was only nineteen, but still. Jaime was so…cultured. Worldly. She clearly was not, but she wanted to be. 

But Jaime was ever gracious and he laughed and smiled and said, “It is pretty awesome.”

It was then that Sansa relaxed. A little at least. He asked about her classes, how she got along with his brother, Tyrion, and then how things were going with Jon. 

She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t want to talk about Jon.”

And so they didn’t. 

By degrees Sansa relaxed more. She had all the butterflies of a first date and the anticipation of what could happen, plus she hated awkward silences – but she held her own. When stumped as to what to say, she asked a question and listened to Jaime talk. Jon was always so quiet, yet Sansa never felt she had to fill the space when silence fell between them. It was always comfortable with them. 

They settled in the kitchen together as before, talking and laughing together and then they ate – it was very good and Sansa complimented him on his ordering skills to which he laughed – and then went outside to the telescope. 

Jaime showed her how to use it and they took turns chatting and peering through it. Sansa didn’t care if she saw any meteor’s, she was just enjoying looking through the telescope as it was. 

When she managed to catch a falling star in the telescope, she grew very excited. “Oh my God, Jaime, the shooting star! I can see it in here! Wow, that is totally amazing!” When she pulled away from the telescope to give him a turn to look, he kissed her. 

Sansa gripped his shirt, and it took her a second to catch up to what was happening. But then she kissed him back and hoped she did it well. In her limited experience, Sansa thought Jaime was a practiced kisser. His lips were soft, his touch gentle upon her waist. When he broke the kiss he pressed his forehead to hers. “I hope you don’t mind that I did that,” he whispered. He pulled his head back and looked at her. “I’ve been wanting to do that all night.”

She smiled. “I don’t mind at all. In fact, if you wanted to do it again…” _I promise to do better._

And then he did. 

When they broke apart this time, Sansa looked up at him. “So, this was a date, right?”

Jaime laughed and kissed her again, quickly. “Yes, Sansa, this was a date.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” she whispered. 

“Not even Jon?” he asked with an arched brow. 

“Especially not him,” she said and leaned up to kiss him again.


	9. Chapter 9

Sansa was up before her alarm even went off the next morning. She hadn’t been able to sleep well as thoughts of Jaime (and Jon) had rolled around in her mind all night. She’d replayed her evening with Jaime a million times. The kisses they had shared, the way he’d looked at her…

She sighed dreamily. 

Yep, she was _that_ girl.

And then Jon would invade her mind telling her how _Dr. Lannister_ was her teacher and how he was older than her and how she was just being naïve. 

_Shut up, Jon._

Her mind though had now turned to more serious matters. Like birth control. Jaime was an older guy; he would want sex eventually. It was possible she was jumping way ahead, but maybe not. She was a virgin, yes, but Sansa knew that most girls her age were not. Most of the girls she’d gone to high school with had had sex even before senior year. A couple had been pregnant at graduation. 

She was in college now and if things with boys were beginning to happen for her as they had not previously, then she needed to be prepared. If her and Jaime did continue on as they were then they could potentially had sex. 

Jaime could be her first. 

Sansa didn’t know how she felt about that. 

But, she knew she had to be prepared and perhaps by the time the big moment arrived (my God, how cheesy was she?) maybe she would know how she felt about it. Now, it just filled her with a bunch of nerves. She had virtually no experience when it came to sex – okay, really, none at all. She’d been felt up at prom and that had been the extent of it. 

Oh God. What if Jaime expected her to know stuff?

She heard Margaery getting out of bed then and pondered asking her friend for a few tips. No. Then Margaery would want to know who she was even contemplating fooling around with and Sansa, as much as she loved her friend, wasn’t sure if she could trust her with this secret. 

And hell no was she going to Jon with this. 

So that left…Cosmo. And porn. Grrreat. 

A knock on the door had Margaery turning to look at Sansa, presumably to see if she was awake. Margaery furrowed her brow. “You expecting someone?”

Sansa shook her head. She sat up as Margaery opened the door and in came Jon. 

He was a morning person but she never saw him before ten. It was nine. 

Margaery turned the light on and they both gasped when they got a good look at him. 

“Are you wearing skinny jeans?” Sansa asked. Jon never wore skinny jeans. He was also wearing a white t-shirt. It was striped. 

“Did you raid a tennis pro shop?” Margaery asked. 

“You look like a pool boy,” Sansa said. 

“You look like a quaaludes dealer,” Margaery said. 

Both Jon and Sansa looked at her and Margaery waved a dismissive hand. “A story for another time.” She gestured to Jon. “What is even happening right now?”

Jon was turning red. “Ygritte and I went shopping last night.”

“And you ended up with _that_?” Margaery asked and wrinkled her nose. 

Jon reddened further. “She picked this out.”

“If I remember correctly she doesn’t dress at all like that,” Sansa said. She gasped, horrified. “Oh my God. Is she a hipster? If you start vaping on an e-cig we’re not friends anymore.”

Margaery gestured to his outfit by moving a hand up and down in front of him. “Is this ironic or…?”

“You guys suck,” Jon snapped and marched out the door. 

Now Sansa felt bad. She scrambled out of the bed and ran after him. She caught him in the hall and grabbed his arm, stopping him. “Jon, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. We’re sorry.”

“I feel ridiculous,” he mumbled. 

“You’re not – you don’t – it’s just different that’s all. I mean, I meant what I said about the e-cig but you wouldn’t do that…right?”

He just looked at her and she dissolved into giggles. “I’m sorry, I am. I’m just not used to seeing you in…color.”

“I wear other things besides black all the time, Sansa.”

“Yeah, I know you do,” she said and started to laugh. “Navy blue, right?” She snorted and slapped a hand over her mouth. Jon’s mouth twitched. He was trying not to laugh. 

“You really do suck,” he said, but he wasn’t mad. Not anymore anyway. “I don’t make fun of you when you wear…”

“Yeah?”

He sighed and looked up towards the ceiling. “Never mind. You always look perfect. Goddammit.”

Sansa laughed and then took his face between her hands. “You’re adorable, you are. I mean, not like this—” he batted her hands away and she giggled and took his hands in hers. “I mean it. You are. Even like this. Especially like this. You’re trying to impress your girlfriend and make her happy. It’s cute.”

And it was cute, she did mean that. Even if she liked the old Jon just fine, and even if she thought Ygritte’s taste was questionable and even if she thought Jon’s taste in women might be, too…

But, she had Jaime. Jaime who always looked good and knew how to dress. Though it was cute that Jon didn’t. A lot of things about Jon were cute. Like the way he was looking at her now as if he needed her assurance that he didn’t look like a tit. 

“I feel silly,” he grunted. 

“You’re just not used to it,” Sansa said. 

“I don’t like this shirt. It’s white, Sansa. I feel like I’m wearing a bull’s eye.”

“You’re not a slob.”

“But all this white is just asking for it.”

“Then don’t wear white. Try a different color and see how you feel. Like…baby blue. Or green. I personally think a light blue would look great on you.”

Jon shuffled his feet. “You do?”

“I do. Maybe we’ll go shopping together some time.”

Jon gripped her hands tightly. “I miss you,” he whispered, and looked at her in that intense Jon way he had. Her heart stuttered under such scrutiny. He always looked as though he meant to uncover her deepest thoughts and desires with that look. 

She glanced away and pulled her hands from his. “I’m right here.”

He moved closer to her and grabbed her hand, squeezed it hard. “But you’re not, Sansa. There’s this gulf between us—”

“You’re being silly. There is not.” 

“Sansa—”

“Things just changed is all,” she said with a shrug. “You’re dating someone now and I …kind of am.”

His expression darkened, and his tone had a definite edge to it when he asked, “How was your date last night?”

She smiled involuntarily, like a high school girl with a crush (and really she wasn’t all that far away from that). Jon pursed his lips together. “Was he respectful of you? Did he treat you right?”

“Yeah, he did, _Robb_ ,” Sansa said with a roll of her eyes and tried to pull her hand from his. Jon wouldn’t let go. 

“Listen to me,” Jon said sternly. “Sansa, look at me.” She looked at him expectantly. “You…you mean _everything_ to me. And it’s not because of Robb or your parents. It’s _you_. It kills me that I wasn’t there when Ramsay hurt you, and it kills me that I wasn’t the one that was there with you after. I like that you come to me. I like that you rely on me. I don’t want you to ever think that you can’t.”

Tears dropped from Sansa’s eyes and Jon moved in closer to her and gently touched her face, wiping away her tears. “Sansa, why are you crying?”

“Because what you said was incredibly sweet!” she wiped at her tears. “Now you suck.”

He laughed softly and drew her into his arms. “You’ll always be my Sansa,” he murmured. “Please remember that.”

“And you’ll always be my Jon,” she murmured back. 

“Do you think we could get breakfast together?” he asked as he pulled back and wiped the remaining tears from her face away. 

She nodded. “Yes. I just need to shower and dress.”

“I’ll wait downstairs.”

It rattled Sansa that she felt like leaning in and kissing him in that moment. And, the way he just stood there just looking at her, she wondered if he’d had the same thought. She pushed away from him and ran down the hall to her room. “I’ll be quick!” she hollered to him without turning around. 

Once in her room, she stood there, staring at Margaery who was putting her toiletries together for a shower. Her friend looked at her. “What is it?”

Sansa shook her head. “Nothing.”

“San, you look kind of freaked out. What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” Sansa said. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

“It’s Jon?” Margaery asked. 

Sansa nodded. 

“Is he really pissed or something?”

“No, we’re fine. I just – you know what? It’s nothing. I need to take a shower and meet him downstairs.” She rushed over to her bureau, grabbed her toiletries, and rushed off, ignoring Margaery calling after her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think...


	10. Chapter 10

Breakfast had been going swimmingly, just like old times Sansa thought, until Ygritte came in the cafeteria and joined them. She'd complimented Jon on his outfit and asked Sansa what she thought and Sansa lied - Jon had given her a look after that. What bothered Sansa the most was Ygritte's use of "our Jon". She wanted to tell Ygritte that Jon wasn't hers, they didn't share him, he belonged solely to her and no one else. 

Then Jon had gotten up to get more coffee and Ygritte had slid in beside Sansa and said, "I know that you and Jon are close."

Sansa had nodded, wondering where this was going. 

"I just want you to know that I have really come to care for Jon and I won't hurt him the way Val did."

Sansa didn't know the whole story with Val. She'd never asked; he'd never told her. Ygritte knew though and that bothered Sansa. A lot. Just like his adoption, it was something she didn't know about Jon and there was a piece that Ygritte now knew and Sansa still didn't. Logically, she knew that when you started dating someone you talked about previous relationships. But Sansa was supposed to be his best friend. She should have asked. She should know these things about him. If she'd asked maybe he wouldn't be dating Ygritte, maybe he'd want...

"He's such an amazing guy and I don't understand how no one snatched him right up," Ygritte said. She laughed softly. "I think I'm already falling for him...we're so compatible in so many ways." She waggled her brows. "Especially in bed."

Okay, that was it. 

Sansa just couldn't anymore. Yet how did she get up and leave without letting on that she had to get the fuck out of there before she threw up? Or cried. Or both. 

"That is so wonderful," Sansa forced herself to say. "I am so happy for you both."

Ygritte smiled and Sansa looked down at her phone. "Sonofabitch!" she exclaimed in what she hoped was a surprised manner. 

"What is it?"

"I just got a text from Margaery. She needs me to get something out of our room for her." She got up from the table and grabbed her things. "Can you just tell Jon I had to go?" Sansa asked. 

"Uh, sure...everything okay?"

"Oh, yes! Everything's fine! Margaery is just forgetful sometimes. See ya!"

Sansa hurried out of the cafeteria, tears stinging her eyes. She kept going until she reached her first class, half an hour before it started. 

She sank onto the floor in the hall and buried her face in her hands, allowing herself to just let out the sob she'd been holding back. All she could see was Jon and Ygritte having sex. Jon telling Ygritte he loved her and wanted her. Jon touching her and wanting to be with her. She cried harder.

"Sansa Stark." 

She looked up. "Hello, Dr. Lannister." He held out a handkerchief and she took it, wiping at her eyes. "Thank you."

"It disturbs me greatly when I see my favorite student sobbing in the middle of an empty hallway. Tell me, are you that upset that we'll be finishing 'Much Ado About Nothing' this afternoon?"

Sansa laughed weakly. "No, sorry..."

"Come, let's have a chat," Dr. Lannister said and went inside the classroom. Sansa gathered her things and followed him inside. She took her usual spot at the front of the row, dead center, as Dr. Lannister put his briefcase down on the desk before him and then sat down in the chair behind him. "For this chat I am not your professor, but your friend. You may call me Tyrion."

"Thank you, Tyrion."

"So, tell me what's troubling you."

She sighed. "Change. My best friend…change." Her eyes welled up in tears again. "I'm losing him and I don't know how to handle it."

"How are you losing him?"

"He's dating someone." She groaned and leaned over, just putting her forehead on the desk. "I know, this is such a stupid, clichéd problem for a girl my age to have."

"It's not uncommon for anyone to have this problem, actually," Tyrion said. "Even adults deal with a certain level of anxiety when their friends begin to date. There is that sense of things changing, as you said."

Sansa lifted her head and looked at him. "I thought it would be like the movies. He'd tell me he's dating someone and I'd be all happy for him and give him advice and I’d become bff’s with his girlfriend…”

“And I’m going to guess that instead you hate her.”

“Yes! As for happy for him? Ugh. I mean, I love him to pieces so of course I want him to be happy…”

“But perhaps you wish it was you he found that happiness with?”

Sansa welled up in tears yet again. She placed her elbow on the desk and leaned the side of her head on her hand. “I can’t think it. It’s big and it’s scary…”

“Love often is,” Tyrion said softly. 

Sansa ignored that comment. “I got upset today because his girlfriend showed up while we were having breakfast together and when he went to get coffee, she went on about how great they’re doing and how she promises not to hurt him like his ex did. I just – I got upset because I don’t know the story about his ex. That happened before he and I got close and I feel like it’s just this thing that she knows that makes him closer to her than to me.”

“You can always ask him about it, Sansa.”

“I know that, logically. Trust me, I know…”

“But?”

“I’m just sensitive to everything she gets that I don’t. I find myself pulling away from him.”

“Ah, you are leaving him before he has the chance to leave you,” Tyrion said with a nod. 

“Yes.”

“Sansa, how do you know he’ll leave you? And how do you know that he doesn’t feel the same way about you?”

“Because he’s dating someone?”

“Did he pursue this relationship or did she?”

“She did.”

Tyrion nodded. “Then it could be that he was afraid just as you are to say what he feels. Or perhaps he didn’t know. Maybe if you told him how you felt it would change the entire dynamic. Maybe you will find that he feels the same. Did you have these feelings for him that you dare not name before he started dating this girl?”

“No. At least…no. He was just…he was just Jon.”

Tyrion laughed softly. “Well, some of the greatest love stories have started with someone being ‘just’. Look at Beatrice and Benedick.”

“They loathed each other.”

“Did they? Or did they have those feelings buried deep and just needed the shove to realize what their true feelings were. It sounds like this girl your Jon is dating was that shove for you. The question is, what will you do to shove him in the right direction?”

Sansa smirked. “I could make him jealous.”

“You could, but games like that do not end well. Consider instead being honest and upfront with him.”

“I don’t even know what it is I feel…” 

Tyrion arched a brow. “No?”

Sansa sighed and looked away from him. She sat back in her seat and folded her arms across her chest. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you know what I’m thinking and feeling.”

He smiled. “Sansa, just remember that some of the greatest adventures in life start with being a little scared.”

“A little? I’m downright terrified, Tyrion.”

“Then it will no doubt be the greatest adventure of your life. One in which you’ll be all the richer for.”

Sansa didn’t know about that. Love was…love was something she’d always like the idea of. Arya was always teasing her about how hopelessly romantic she was and rolling her eyes at the ridiculousness of it. Sansa was more or less in love with the idea of love. Now she felt it as though it was a fire raging around her and if she just reached out to touch it, it would consume her. She feared burning up; turning to ash. Tyrion sounded as though he believed she could walk through it and it be all the stronger for it. 

As much as she appreciated Tyrion’s counsel, she wasn’t convinced. What did it say that telling her best friend of her feelings scared her more than an affair with her professor? She was certainly all kind of fucked up for that. 

Her classmates started to stroll in then and Sansa was thankful for it. She didn’t want to think about her feelings any longer. She was rather tired of having them quite frankly. 

xxxxxxxx

When Jon had seen Sansa flee the cafeteria as though the hounds of hell were nipping at her heels, he had been worried that something had happened. Then he’d seen Ygritte watching Sansa leave with something like smugness on her face. He’d gone over to her and demanded to know what had been said. 

Ygritte had been all wide-eyed and innocent and then hurt that he’d suggest that she had done something to upset Sansa. She’d gone on to explain that Margaery had texted her and Sansa had to rush to get something to her roommate. 

Jon didn’t buy it. Not for a second. She wasn’t acting right, and hadn’t been since…well, since he started seeing Ygritte. The implications of that were not lost on Jon. They beat in his brain like a drum. Did Sansa have feelings for him? Was she jealous of Ygritte?

He thought of earlier that morning, of that moment in the hall when she’d looked at his mouth and his heart had started to pound. He’d had the urge to kiss her and the strange thing about it was how normal it would have felt. As if it was something he should have been doing all along and just realized he could. 

It was all he’d been able to think about while he waited for her. Kissing Sansa. How it would feel. How she would taste. How she would feel in his arms. 

Then Ygritte had shown up at breakfast and he’d felt guilty for thinking about kissing Sansa when his, well, he supposed Ygritte was his girlfriend since that’s what everyone kept calling her. 

He liked Ygritte. He did. But there was something missing with her that gave him pause, even this early on. Jon prided himself on his gut instincts, they had always served him well, but when it came to matter of the heart he faltered. 

Where had this desire for perfection come from anyway? No one was perfect and Jon knew that better than anyone. His ex, Val, had certainly not been perfect and he’d been fine with that. Sansa was not perfect, but he loved her in spite of it – no, because of it. They balanced each other out. Ygritte wasn’t perfect and he was sure he could…fall in love with her?

It was too soon. Too early for all of that. 

“I want you two to get along,” Jon said after a long silence between him and Ygritte. “It’s important to me that you both get along.”

“Jon, I don’t think you need to worry. Sansa and I get along just fine,” Ygritte said. “I think you’re thinking too much about her needing to go.”

No, he wasn’t. He could feel it in his bones. That, he knew, was how well he knew Sansa. She was in his very bones, deep in his marrow. 

“If it means that much to you though,” Ygritte said. “Then perhaps we could all do something together and put your mind at ease.”

Jon nodded. He felt rather outside of himself as he said, “Yes, I think that would work.”

Ygritte smiled, but it didn’t light up her face the way Sansa’s smiles lit up hers. “Then you’ll ask her?”

Jon nodded again. “I’ll ask her.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't post last night because...reasons. In the light of day and much time spent reading theories on Tumblr, I am living in denial. That may be the only way to push through... 
> 
> For those readers that hate Jaime (you know who you are lol), this chapter has him in it. Just keep in mind I don't write unhappy endings. :)

Chapter Eleven

Sansa found the balm to her frayed nerves and scattered emotions in Jaime. She didn’t have class with him that day, but she wanted to see him and remind herself that someone wanted her. One touch of his lips to hers and Sansa allowed herself to be grabbed and pulled under. She wound her arms around his neck and delighted in his strong arms encircling her and drawing her close. 

When they parted, Jaime pressed his forehead to hers and smiled. “This was a nice surprise,” he said. 

“I don’t only have to see you when we have lessons, do I?” she asked coyly and tilted her head to the side. 

He smiled. “Of course not.” He nodded to his closed office door behind her. “And this was an excellent time to visit. It’s always quiet at this time of day.”

That hadn’t been an accident, coming to see Jaime at this hour. She’d cut class to see him. Right about now class was ending and Jon was usually outside the building waiting for her so they could go to dinner together. She was sure that Ygritte wouldn’t be far behind in joining them just as she had at breakfast and Sansa was all set with that. 

Jaime pulled away from her and Sansa wished him back to keep her darker thoughts at bay. “There is something I wanted to discuss with you, actually,” Jaime said as he went to his desk and picked up a sheet of paper. He turned back and handed the paper to her. 

Sansa scanned the document quickly. “‘A musical talent show sponsored by the music department’,” she read. Her eyes went wide. “An eighties and nineties themed musical show?” 

Jaime grinned. “I remember you telling me how much you loved eighties ballads.”

She looked back down at the flier. “Is this for everyone? Like the whole school?”

He shook his head. “No. It’s only for the music department students. It’s the department’s way of showing their value to the school. It shows that we’re really churning out competent musicians and singers. The show is set for the last week of the semester.”

Sansa frowned. “But why are you showing this to me? I’m undeclared.”

Jaime smiled. “Because I want you to audition, Sansa.”

She blinked. “Why?”

“Because I’m hoping that if you’re selected – and I know you will be – it will help you make the decision to declare music as your major. Sansa, you have talent. I’d hate to see you waste it.”

She blushed. “Does this mean I have to play the piano?”

“Do you want to play the piano?”

She scrunched up her face and said, “Not really.”

“You want to sing don’t you?” he asked with a grin. 

“Fuck. Yes.” She laughed and covered her face with her hands. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” he said and pulled her hands from her face. “If you want to sing, then sing.”

“And they’ll let me audition?”

Jaime grinned. “Yes, I don’t think you have anything to worry about, Sansa.”

She grinned back. 

“And,” he continued. “I know a vocal coach we can use.”

Sansa clapped her hands together excitedly. “This is so exciting!”

“What do you say we have dinner tonight and celebrate?”

She laughed. “Celebrate that I’m auditioning? No, how about we just have dinner and then save the celebration for if I make it in the show?”

Jaime took her face in his hands and kissed her. “Deal.”

xxxxxxxx

“You need to talk to your boy,” Margaery said as soon as Sansa walked in their room after seeing Jaime. 

Sansa frowned at her friend who was painting her toenails. “Why?”

“Because Jon was more uptight than usual when he came by to find out why you bailed on him at breakfast – which, the next time you want to use me as an alibi please let me know. I must have gaped at him for a good five minutes when he asked me if I’d texted you to bring something to me. I had to think fast and I think he knew I was lying.”

“What did you tell him?”

“That I needed my copy of ‘Halloween’ for film class. He also wanted to know why you didn’t meet him for dinner.”

Sansa winced. “What did you tell him?”

“That it wasn’t my turn to watch you and asked if he wanted to put a GPS on you so he’d know where you are at all times.”

Sansa couldn’t help but laugh at that. 

Margaery twisted the cap on her nail polish and tossed the bottle on her bed. She then stretched her legs out in front of her and started bouncing her legs up and down in tandem. “So, what’s going on with you, little dove? Why is Jon looking even more like someone kicked a litter of puppies and made him watch?”

Sansa sat down on her bed and sighed. She told Margaery what Ygritte had said about Val, and about how compatible they were, especially in bed. 

“And I just lost it,” Sansa said. “I just couldn’t get the image out of my head of them in bed and Jon doing stuff to her.”

Margaery made a face. “Now I have that image.” Her expression went thoughtful. “I bet he’s really good with his mouth.”

“ _Margaery_.”

Her friend held up her hands. “I’m kidding. Sort of. Not really. I mean, he does have those really plump lips and—”

“Seriously?”

“Sorry. Right. Okay, so, you do realize that bitch was just trying to stake her claim on him, right? She just said all that shit to make sure you knew he was hers and therefore off limits.”

Sansa just stared at her friend, dumbfounded. “Really?”

“San, I’ve seen them together and she is so the type. If she could pee on him to claim him she would.”

“Well, score one for Ygritte I guess,” Sansa muttered. 

“What are you going to do about it?”

“Nothing. He’s happy with her.”

Margaery didn’t look convinced. She pursed her lips together and tilted her head to the side. “Is he though?”

“He’s still with her isn’t he?”

“In what universe would Jon be good at dumping someone?”

“Good point.”

“They could be sleeping together, it’s possible.”

Sansa got up. She didn’t want to hear this. Besides, she had a date to get ready for. So, she went to her closet to see what to wear. 

“But I don’t think they are,” Margaery said. 

That gave Sansa pause. She looked at her friend. “You don’t?”

Margaery shook her head. “Jon doesn’t have that ‘I just got laid’ glow about him that most men in the beginning of a relationship do. He’s still flippin’ Eeyore.”

Sansa laughed and shook her head. “He’s not that bad, Margaery.”

Margaery shrugged. “But seriously, if they were having sex and she was that certain her pussy had was prime choice—”

“My _God_ , Margaery—”

“—then she wouldn’t feel the need to stake her claim on him with you. Sansa, you’re her competition and I don’t think you even realize it. Anyone that comes across you and Jon know that with him, you come first.”

“That’s not true anymore.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? He wasn’t off with his girlfriend having a grand ol’ time thinking ‘well, maybe Sansa was just busy’, no. He was here wanting to know where you were and why you ran out on him this morning. You’ve been putting distance between the two of you since he started seeing that girl and he knows it.”

“Margaery, I already went over this with Dr. Lannister today and I don’t want to go over it again,” Sansa said in annoyance. 

“Which one?”

“Tyrion.”

“You talked to your professor about Jon? Sansa, how are you not getting what’s happening here. Come on!”

“It’s not that easy!” Sansa exclaimed and yanked a cardigan off its hanger. “It’s not like I just go ‘Oh, I have these feelings for Jon I should just tell him’. I’m not like you, okay? I don’t just go for it. I don’t even know what I’m going for! What are these feelings exactly? I mean, do I want him in a romantic I-want-to-be-his-girlfriend sense or am I just jealous because now I don’t have him all to myself anymore? When you dated that idiot last semester I was jealous of him because we didn’t get to hang out as much. What if it’s just that? Why does jealousy over someone else in the picture automatically have to mean that I want Jon to be my boyfriend?”

“Have you tried to imagine what it would be like? Have you imagined kissing him? Having him be your first?”

Sansa held up a hand. “Don’t. Okay, just don’t. You got into my head once already with that crap. Don’t do it again.” She marched to the door. Screw changing into a new outfit. 

“Where are you going now?!” Margaery exclaimed. 

“Out.”

“Where?”

“The library.”

Sansa slammed the door shut behind her and marched down the hall to the elevator. Her phone went off in her pocket and she pulled it out. Jon.

_Where are you? Can I see you?_

_Can’t_ , she typed back furiously. _I have a date. Night._


	12. Chapter 12

It was late by the time Sansa returned from her date with Jaime. She just hoped that Margaery was in bed or out and didn’t see what time she snuck back in. 

But, as soon as she walked inside she found that not to be the case. She was up, all right. And she looked pissed. 

“All right, Sansa, what the fuck is going on? The library closed over an hour ago, you didn’t answer your phone, and when I called Jon to find out if you were with him he said you had a date with Drogo. Now I know that’s a damn lie. Drogo is our RA’s boyfriend and she’d gut you where you stood if you even looked at him cross-eyed. Where did you go? Please tell me that you are not actually seeing Drogo on the side—”

“I had a date with Jaime,” Sansa blurted out. 

“Jaime– _Jaime Lannister? Your professor_?!”

“Ssshhh! Margaery, keep it down. No one can know!”

“No shit no one can know! Oh my God, Sansa, what are you _doing_?”

“Well, tonight he was more interested in choosing music for the talent show that the music department—”

“Sansa, you know I am all for pushing the limits and having a good time, but this? He’s old enough to be your father! And he’s your professor! What are you thinking?”

“He might be older than me but come on, he’s pretty hot,” Sansa said weakly. 

“Something is rotten in the state of Denmark. Sansa, this smacks of grossness.”

“It’s not gross! He’s a cultured, educated man—”

“Who should not be dallying with a nineteen year old girl!”

“Margaery, _please_ don’t tell anyone. _Please_.”

“Sansa, I don’t like this. It feels gross.”

“It’s not; it’s really not. We haven’t…you know.”

“I should hope not if you can’t even say it,” Margaery snapped. She raked a hand through her hair and shook her head. 

“What?”

“If Jon found out what you’re doing he’d fucking rip Dr. Lannister apart.”

“That’s why you can’t tell him. I lied to him – I told him I had a date with Drogo when he caught me as I was going to meet Jaime the other day. Drogo was the first name that came to mind – I just needed to throw Jon off—”

“He’s going to figure it out eventually! I mean, how serious is this thing with you and Dr. Lannister?”

“We’re just hanging out.”

“ _Where_?”

“His house,” Sansa mumbled. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I say it was gross? It’s fucking creepy.”

“Margaery, I have stood by you while you have made some pretty god awful decisions regarding men. I am asking you to just do me a solid here and not say anything to anyone about this.”

Margaery’s phone rang and she answered it, her jaw clenched. “Yes? Hi, Jon. Yes, she’s home…I don’t know, she must have turned her phone off. She’s standing right here…”

Sansa shook her head and waved her hands in a ‘no way’ fashion. The last thing she wanted or needed in that moment was to have to come up with a bunch of lies about where she’d been on her “date with Drogo.”

“She’s going to take a shower,” Margaery said. “She’ll call you tomorrow.” She hung up the phone and sighed. “Sansa, I’m legit worried about you right now.”

“I’m fine, Margaery. He hasn’t done anything creepy. He’s been a perfect gentleman.”

“For now.”

“No, he won’t do anything.”

“You’re being naïve.”

Sansa was so tired of people telling her that. She resisted the urge to blow up at her friend. Instead she took a deep breath and said, “I’m going to take a shower now.”

When she returned to the room after her shower, Margaery had her back turned to her in bed. Obviously she was done talking. Sansa just crawled into her bed and curled up on her side wondering how her life had just spiraled so out of control in so short a time. 

xxxxxxxx

Sansa didn’t hear from Jon for the next few days. He was pissed at her, she knew it. Every time he tried to assure her that he was still her Jon and always would be, something would send her running. Margaery had made it clear she wasn’t too keen with her either which was funny considering all the crap Margaery had done in the name of love or just sex and Sansa had looked the other way for. 

She felt rather alone. So, she turned to Jaime and figuring out what song to audition with to fill up her time. Jaime had her meet with the vocal coach on campus, Brienne, and apparently Jaime had “phoned in a favor” with her since Sansa was not one of her students nor was she a client outside of school. Sansa didn’t go into her first lesson under any delusion that she didn’t work. She was right. She did need work, but it was work she enjoyed. 

After a week of not seeing or speaking to Jon, Sansa knew she had to do something to make it up to him. So, she took the bus into town and went shopping. She got him Milk Duds, Raisinettes, Red Vines, a package of K-cups he usually bought for the Keurig he and suite-mates shared and a card. 

On the front of the card there was a picture of a couple tombstones and it said: _I hope we’re friends until we die…_

And then on the inside it said: _Then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the shit out of people together._

She hoped this olive branch worked. Meanwhile, she knew she had to seriously get her crap together. She could not keep bailing on Jon. She had to be supportive of his relationship and just get the fuck over it already. 

She just needed to suck it up and deal with the fact that Jon had a girlfriend. He promised there would always be a place for her in his life and there was no reason not to believe him. She was the one putting distance between them, not him. 

When she got to his dorm after her shopping trip, she braced herself for the fact that she might find Jon with Ygritte. When she got to his suite, Sam answered. He shifted from foot to foot and looked down at the floor. “Hello, Sansa.”

“Hi, Sam! How are you?”

“I’m well, thank you. And you?”

“Great, hey, is Jon here?”

“Jon is,” came Jon’s voice from behind Sam. Sam nodded to Sansa and hurried off. 

Sansa braced herself. He didn’t look happy. He was also back in his normal jeans and black t-shirt. 

He looked at her, waiting. 

She thrust the bag of goodies his way. “I got you some stuff.”

He took the back and opened it. “Is there an actual olive branch in here?”

“Did you just make a joke?” she teased. 

“Depends. Was it a good one?”

“It wasn’t bad,” she said with a smile. “Oh, and I got you this…” she rummaged in her purse and pulled out the card. 

He took it from her and laughed after reading it. He shoved it in the bag and looked at her. “Sansa…”

“I know. I suck. I am the suckiest suck ever.”

He raked a hand through his hair. “I just don’t understand what’s going on. One minute we’re fine, the next minute you’re running out and not bothering to say anything then I can’t get in touch with you…”

“I know.”

“Saying you know isn’t helping me, Sansa. I need to know what’s going on. What is bothering you?”

“Could I…maybe come in?”

He nodded and stepped aside. She dug her hands in the pocket of her hoodie and stepped inside. He led her to his room and she stood in the middle of his room feeling all sorts of vulnerable and awkward. Jon placed his bag of goodies on his bed and sat down in his chair. “So?” he prompted.

She shifted on her feet and sighed. “Okay, so remember when I got all jealous when Margaery started dating that guy last semester because I was afraid that she wouldn’t have time for me anymore?”

Jon nodded. 

“Well, it’s kind of like that.”

“Kind of?”

“It is. It is like that. I’ve had you all to myself and now you’re dating someone and I guess I’m just…leaving you before you can leave me.”

“You’re not allowed to do that, Sansa,” he said softly. He looked at her in that intense Jon way again. “I need you.”

“I don’t think you do, but thanks for saying it.”

“Sansa—”

“So I’m gonna try not to be such a freak about everything. I honestly don’t know where this fear of abandonment has come from.”

“Well, maybe you could start with doing something with me and Ygritte.”

That was very much the last thing Sansa wanted to do. Which meant she had to if she was actually going to work on this. “Oh?”

“We talked about it last week. It’s important to me that you two get along.”

“We don’t not get along.”

“Just the same, it’s important to me.”

So then it was important to her. Sansa nodded. “Okay. What did you have in mind?”

“I was thinking maybe a trip into town? Just to spend the day walking around, maybe seeing a few historical sites or whatever.”

“Nerd.”

“Well, yeah. If you wanted you could always invite that guy.”

She blinked. “What guy?”

“Drogo?”

Oh yeah. Him. Her fake boyfriend. “Yeah, maybe,” she said. _I’ll invite Margaery._

“How are things going with him anyway?”

She thought of stealing kisses during her lesson with Jaime today. “Great. He’s great.”

Jon stood. “Is that all you’re going to tell me about him? Come on, Sansa. I need to make sure this guy is good enough for you.”

She arched a brow. “You didn’t ask me if I thought Ygritte was good enough for you when you started dating her.”

“Well, maybe after we all spend some time together you can tell me.”

Yeah, she would probably just lie because her feelings and judgment were not to be trusted right now. “Sure.”

“So, yes to this weekend? You’ll invite what’s-his-face.”

“Drogo.”

“Yeah. You’ll invite him and we’ll all spend some time together?”

Sansa nodded. “Okay.” She nodded again. “Okay, well, I’ll see you later.” She started for the door, but then Jon grabbed her arm and pulled her to him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her temple. “I missed you,” he whispered. 

“I missed you, too,” she whispered back. 

She thought he would let go then, but he didn’t. He just kept on hugging her and Sansa wondered if he was okay when he finally released her and smiled somewhat shyly at her. “Thanks for the treats.”

“You’re welcome. Night, Jon.”

“Night.”

Now Sansa had to somehow convince Margaery to join her this weekend. There was no way she was going to be able to handle Jon and Ygritte alone.


	13. Chapter 13

Thankfully, Margaery was in when Sansa arrived back at their room. She shut the door behind her and pressed her back to the door as she looked at her friend who was flipping through Cosmo on her bed. 

“I know you’re upset with me,” Sansa began. Margaery looked up at her. “But I need your help.”

“It’s not that I’m upset with you so much as really worried, Sansa,” Margaery said. “I know I do a lot of crazy shit when it comes to guys, but not as crazy as what you’re doing. A relationship with your professor? I mean, do you see this as a fling? You’re not really the fling sort. Or as something serious? What exactly do you know about him? San, you’ve never had sex, you’re not…experienced with that aspect and I’m sure Dr. Lannister is. Are you planning on doing it with him? Does he knew he’d be your first? Do you even want that?”

Sansa’s mind was buzzing with all these questions and concerns. She heaved a sigh and held up a hand. “Can we get to all of that in a minute so I can ask you the favor first?”

Margaery sighed. “Okay, sure. What is it? Please tell me it’s not lying for you to Jon or whatever so you can sneak off with Dr. Lannister.”

“I just came from seeing Jon and he wants me and him and Ygritte and Drogo to hang out on Saturday. It’s really important to him that Ygritte and I get along. I obviously can’t invite Drogo…”

“So you want me to go.”

“Please, Margaery, _please_ ,” Sansa begged. “I can’t spend a day with the happy couple alone.”

“Sansa, you do realize that if you are planning on continuing down this path of dating your professor you are going to have to at some point tell Jon?”

“His head would explode.”

“No doubt. He’d also probably rally a mob to burn Dr. Lannister at the stake.”

“So, I can’t tell him. Not yet,” Sansa said. _Not ever_. 

“When then? When you graduate? And while we’re on the subject, what the fuck kind of screwy relationship is this if you can’t ever be seen in public? It’s like you’re his dirty little secret – which you are because you’re nineteen and he’s like what, forty?”

“Thirty-eight.”

“Close enough. Sansa!” Margaery exclaimed. “He could literally be your Dad.”

“If he had me at like nineteen…”

“It’s possible and you know it! Does he have a kid? Several kids? Was he married?”

“He was married,” Sansa mumbled. “I don’t know about the kid issue.”

“What do you know?”

“We’re still learning about each other!” Sansa said defensively. 

“Yeah, he’s still learning how best to get in your pants.”

“Margaery, will you come with me on Saturday or not?” Sansa asked, letting some of her annoyance bleed through. 

“Yes,” Margaery said and snapped her magazine shut. “Only because I want to meet this Ygritte and see why Jon still has his head up his ass about you.”

“Oh, for the love of God, Margaery!”

“I’m serious, Sansa. That boy is in love with you. He just doesn’t get it yet and I want to know what hold this little bitch has over him that he hasn’t fucking figured it out yet.”

Sansa sighed. “Okay, well, thank you for deciding to come.”

“I’m serious though, Sansa. I’m not comfortable with this relationship you have going with Dr. Lannister. And the fact that you kept it from me and Jon tells me you don’t think it’s right either.”

Sansa sighed and wondered what Margaery would say if she told her friend she was beginning to sound like her mother. 

xxxxxxxxx

Jon hadn’t realized just how much he was dreading seeing Sansa with Drogo until it was Margaery she showed up with. Relief flooded through him and he hugged her so tight she complained she couldn’t breathe. 

“What happened to what’s-his-face?” he asked her. 

“He couldn’t make it,” she said simply. 

“Is what’s-his-face your boyfriend, Sansa?” Ygritte asked. “I thought you didn’t really have one.”

Sansa primly tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “I am seeing someone.”

Ygritte smiled. “Oh, well, that’s nice.”

“Isn’t it?” Margaery drawled and looked at Ygritte with an arched brow. Jon wasn’t sure what that was about, but he didn’t know much when it came to some of the things Margaery did. 

“Shall we?” Jon asked and looked at Sansa. 

“Sure,” she said and fell into step beside Margaery while Ygritte came up beside him. He strained to hear what Margaery and Sansa were talking about behind him while Ygritte said something to him that he didn’t hear. 

“What?” he asked her. 

“I was just wondering if we could stop at Dunks in town.”

“Sure.” He looked over his shoulder. “San, Dunk run first?”

“But of course,” Sansa chirped behind him. 

Once they were in the car and on their way off campus, Sansa leaned forward between him and Ygritte from the back and said, “Please, please can I hook up my iPod? I am so not in the mood for complaint rock.”

“It’s The Smiths,” Ygritte said, as though that should mean something to Sansa. It didn’t, and Jon knew it. 

He smiled at Sansa. “Yes, you can plug in your iPod.”

Ygritte looked at him sharply and Jon wondered exactly what he’d done wrong. Was changing the music that big of a deal to her? He wasn’t a huge fan of Sana’s pop music, but he liked when she sang along because in his opinion, she had a beautiful voice. He kept waiting for the day she would switch her major from undeclared to music. 

Sansa was practically in the front seat at that point and he could smell the perfume she’d scented herself with. He inhaled, thinking that Sansa always smelled good. Ygritte never scented herself with anything. 

An old eighties tune started that Jon recognized only because Sansa had played it before and she sat back in her seat. Then Sansa and Margaery began to sing together. Jon was used to it. At times he found it humorous, too. Ygritte didn’t seem to feel the same way.   
When the song was over, Sansa leaned forward again and turned the volume down and then asked Ygritte if she liked Vampire Weekend. Ygritte wasn’t a fan so Sansa rattled off a bunch of other bands that Jon knew she had on her iPod. Ygritte wasn’t a fan of any of them. 

Sansa seemed to give up at that point and so she unplugged her iPod and plugged Jon’s back in. “Sansa, you didn’t have to do that,” Jon said. 

“It’s fine,” she said with a smile and kissed his cheek before settling in the back seat once again.

Sansa must have kissed his cheek a million times before, but today it was different. It felt different. He swore his cheek tingled after and he caught himself looking in the rearview mirror at her instead of paying attention to the road until Ygritte shouted, “Jon!” 

He looked back to the road and slammed on the brakes to avoid hitting the car in front of him which had stopped. 

“Aren’t you like the ten and two guy?” Margaery asked from the backseat. 

“You okay, Mario Andretti?” Sansa asked and leaned forward to rest her chin on the top of his seat. He could smell her perfume again. 

“I guess I need a coffee,” Jon muttered. “Sansa, put your seatbelt on.”

“Okay, Dad!”

He shot her a look and she grinned cheekily at him. 

Finally, they made it into town and parked in the parking garage. On the way out, Sansa and Margaery walked ahead of him and Ygritte and Jon found his gaze repeatedly landing on Sansa’s ass in the gray jeans she wore. 

“Jon?” Ygritte said and slipped her hand into his. 

Jon looked up guiltily. “Yeah?”

“You seem lost in thought. You okay?”

Jon nodded and smiled. “I’m fine.”

Ygritte leaned over and kissed him and Jon focused on her and not Sansa’s perfectly round ass. He had no business noticing her ass. First, this was Sansa, his best friend, and besides he was with Ygritte. 

Their first stop was an old record store that Jon liked to find rare albums in and Sansa liked to look at the album artwork. Ygritte wanted to see if they had any old Smiths records and so she flipped through the racks with him. 

But Jon couldn’t keep from seeking out Sansa with his eyes. It was like he had to know where she was at all times. Had to know what she was doing. When she laughed at something Margaery said, he smiled. Sansa’s laugher and her smiles were always so contagious. She was so full of life and love and laughter, and it always lightened his often broody demeanor. 

“Oh, look at this one, Jon,” Ygritte said, pulling his attention away from Sansa. 

He focused on Ygritte, because that was what he was supposed to be doing. And then they both went back to looking through the records before them. 

“Jon.”

Jon looked up at the sound of Sansa’s voice and found in place of her face was an album cover with a giant eye on the cover. “Do I have something in my eye?” she asked. And then she moved the album away and dissolved into giggles. Jon laughed and she bounded off back to Margaery. 

Minutes later he looked for her again and found her and Margaery in the listening booth with the door closed, dancing around to some song they played. 

“Jon,” Ygritte said and placed her hand on his arm. “Come here and see this.”

Jon followed her, but what he wanted to do was join Sansa in that booth.

xxxxxxx

“Okay, I got it,” Sansa said as Jon helped her climb over the rocks down near the water’s edge. This was one of their spots. Whenever they went into town together, it was near the water they ended up. Ygritte and Margaery were sitting on a bench watching Sansa and Jon traverse over the rocks out to the water. 

“I’m ready,’ Jon said. 

“Kate Beckinsale—”

“ _Underworld_ Kate Beckinsale?” he asked. 

“Duh.”

He grinned and held out his hand to help her over the next big rock. She jumped down and joined him and said, “Charlize Theron.”

“Mad Max or…?”

“Pick one she was super hot in.”

Jon nodded. “Okay, got it.”

She grinned. “And Betty White.”

Jon looked at her in horror and shook his head. He climbed over the next boulder then turned and helped Sansa again. “Sansa, I can’t fuck Betty White.”

“Now, that’s not true. You could.”

“And I can’t marry her.”

“Again, you could.”

“And I certainly can’t toss an old woman off a cliff!”

She giggled and stood upon the rock with her legs apart, her hands on her hips and her chin held high. “I am the champion of fuck-marry-kill,” she declared and then looked down at him. “So? You have to choose, Jon.”

He sighed. “This is hard.”

“That’s what she said,” she said and dissolved into laughter. Jon rolled his eyes and laughed. She wobbled on the rock and Jon reached up and placed his hands on her hips to steady her. “I’m fine,” she told him, but he didn’t let go until she had her feet planted on the ground with his. She pouted when she saw how much further they had to go. “Okay, I don’t want to go any farther. Can we just be done now?”

Jon grinned at her. “Yes, sweetling.”

She sagged into his side and rested her head on his shoulder. “Thank God.”

Jon just wanted to turn his head and kiss her on top of her head. And he might very well have done that had he not been consciously aware that Ygritte was somewhere behind them and possibly watching them. He started to wrap an arm around Sansa, when she straightened and then sat down on the boulder behind her. “Well?” she asked. “Who are you going to fuck-marry-kill? Choose wisely, because I don’t think you want to kill a national treasure like Betty White.”

He sighed. “Well, I guess I’m gonna have to marry her. But I’m not going to have sex with her.”

“You do realize that you can only fuck one of the other two once, right? This isn’t the kind of deal where you can just keep having sex with one of them.”

Jon made a face. “All right, let me think about this some more.”

“If you decide to kill Betty White I’m so going to call you the Octogenarian Killer. Remember that while you’re deciding.”

Jon laughed. “Something tells me you’re going to call me that no matter what.”

She smiled. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

He sat down beside her and resisted the urge to grab her hand and twine their fingers together. What was going on with him today? Where were all these random impulses coming from? Was it just because they hadn’t seen much of each other the past week? Yes, that had to be it. He just missed her. 

“So, what do you think of Ygritte?” he asked softly. 

“She seems really nice,” Sansa said a little too quickly. 

He looked at her and resisted yet another urge. The wind had picked up and some of her hair was blowing across her cheek. He wanted to move it. “Sansa.”

She looked at him. Her luminous blue eyes pierced him and he felt it right in his heart. He wanted to kiss her. Abruptly he stood up to get some distance. What the fuck was wrong with him today?

“What? She is!” Sansa said defensively. “The few times we’ve spoken she’s been very cordial.”

“You don’t like her.”

She sighed. “Jon, I do. I really do.”

But she didn’t, and he knew it. “When will I meet Drogo?” he asked. 

She cocked her head to the side. “Why? So you can dislike him right out the gate?”

Jon didn’t want to tell her that he already did, and he didn’t have to meet the guy to know it. It didn’t make sense, and he wasn’t the sort to dislike someone he’d never even met, but it was someone that took Sansa from him…

Someone that got to touch her in all the ways he’d wanted to today. Someone that got to kiss her and know what those cherry lips tasted like. Jon’s heart started to thud hard in his chest. _It was someone that could make love to her._ Jon knew that Sansa had never had sex before. They’d had a conversation about it once, an awkward conversation because she felt self-conscious about it. This guy could be her first. 

“Have you had sex with him?” Jon blurted out, and then cursed himself for asking something like that so bluntly. 

“No,” Sansa said slowly. “Not um…not yet.”

 _Not yet. Not yet. Not yet._ The words went round and round in his mind. Why was this bothering him so much? The idea of some guy he didn’t know touching his Sansa?

 _His_ Sansa. 

_His._

“Hey losers, we’re hungry!” Margaery called out. 

Sansa jumped up as though she had been waiting for an out in this conversation. She started back, climbing over the rocks without his help. It was like she hadn’t really needed him after all and the thought of that twisted his gut into knots.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up for the Jaime haters...lol...there is a scene with them...some discussion of sex. References to fooling around...Just be prepared.

The last stop of the day was the Lannis Port Bookstore. It was old and dark, a little musty, but so beautiful inside. It was one of those bookstores that made one feel as though they were stepping back in time. With Stephen King on the shelves. 

Many times Jon and Sansa had ended up spending hours just perusing the shelves or reading snippets of books – once Jon had actually read a whole book in two hours while sipping on a latte. 

Sansa was checking out the music text books when Ygritte came up beside her. 

“Music? I thought you weren’t a big fan,” Ygritte said. 

Sansa cleared her throat. “I am, actually.”

“Just not The Smiths.”

Sansa smiled. “Just not The Smiths.”

Silence fell and Sansa prayed Ygritte would just walk away. She didn’t. 

“You and Jon are close, huh?” Ygritte said. 

“We are,” Sansa said with a smile. “He probably told you that he practically grew up in my house. He was – is – best friends with my brother.”

“Ah, yes. I remember him telling me how he promised your parents and brother he would look after you, make sure you stayed out of trouble and kept your grades up.”

Sansa nodded, her smile faltering. 

“How nice it must be to have a surrogate brother right here on campus.”

Sansa had the distinct feeling Ygritte was building up to something. 

“It is,” Sansa said, almost cautiously. 

“It’s very important to Jon that you and I get along,” Ygritte said. “That’s why he wanted us to go out today.”

Sansa nodded slowly, waiting. Ygritte reminded her of a cobra and now Sansa was just waiting for the strike to come. 

“You want Jon to be happy, don’t you?” Ygritte asked. 

“Of course I do.”

Ygritte turned and looked at her fully then. “Then stop being a child and let him be happy. You play these games with him to keep him coming after you, to keep him wondering what’s wrong with poor little Sansa. Do you even want him? Would you know what to do with him if you had him? I know you’re probably used to being the center of attention, but I think it’s time you loosened the slack and let Jon have his own life. He needs a woman, not a child.”

Sansa wasn’t sure if she could point out that there was only a two year difference between them. 

“Do we understand each other?” Ygritte asked. 

Sansa nodded. 

“I trust this will be kept between us?”

Sansa nodded again. 

Ygritte patted Sansa on the top of her head. “Good girl.”

Sansa stared at the bookshelf in front of her, not even seeing what was there. Her face felt hot and tears stung her eyes. She really was terrible at confrontations. Hastily, she wiped them away. 

She had to get the fuck out of there. She surely couldn’t let Jon see her like this – wouldn’t Ygritte just _love_ that? And if Margaery saw her she’d want to know why she was upset and no doubt go after Ygritte. And poor Jon. He wouldn’t know what to do. 

Sansa discreetly looked around her. No one was around her. Quickly, she made her way to the bathroom and locked herself in. She let the tears loose then. Confrontations always left her shaken and emotional. _Get it together, Sansa, think._

To tell Jon or not to tell Jon? If she told him, he would be upset with Ygritte to be sure. Would he dump her over it? Did Sansa want him to? Expect him to? There was no doubt about it that Ygritte was a bitch. Who the hell did she think she was to say that to her?

Oh yeah. Jon’s girlfriend. 

No. She wasn’t going to say anything. She would just prove herself to be the child Ygritte called her if she did. And it wasn’t as though Ygritte wasn’t right about a few things. _Do you even want him?_ I don’t know. _Would you know what to do with him if you had him?_ Not at all. 

She had been pulling away from Jon the past few weeks, so intent on leaving him before he could leave her. He’d felt it and he hadn’t liked it and maybe that’s what she had counted on. His coming after her. That wasn’t very fair was it? She was being selfish by essentially not knowing if she wanted him _in that way_ , but not wanting anyone else to have him either. 

That stopped now. 

Her phone chirped, alerting her to a new text. She pulled her phone out of her purse and smiled faintly when she saw it was from Jaime: _Can I see you tonight?_

She replied back. _Yes. When?_

xxxxxxxxx

“You’re quiet tonight,” Jaime said as he sat down beside Sansa on the overstuffed burgundy couch in his living room. He handed her a glass of wine and then sipped his. “Everything okay?” he asked as he put his glass down on the mahogany coffee table in front of them.

Sansa sipped her wine and placed it down next to his and nodded. “It’s just been a busy day,” she said. “Margaery and I hung out with Jon and his girlfriend.”

“Oh? And how did that go?”

Sansa thought of her conversation with Ygritte. “Great.”

Jaime arched a brow. “Did it really?”

Sansa nodded. She didn’t want to think about Ygritte and Jon. She didn’t want to think about what they could be doing at the moment since Ygritte had let it be known quite loudly that she and Jon were headed back to his room. 

Margaery was wrong. Ygritte and Jon were having sex, Sansa was sure of it. She leaned into Jaime and tipped her face up for a kiss. He grinned and dipped his head down to capture her mouth. 

Sansa reached up with one hand and twined her fingers through his silky locks and her mind drifted to what it would be like to kiss Jon and feel his curls under her hands… 

She broke the kiss. “Sorry, I—”

Jaime, though, was undeterred. He kissed along her jaw and then down her neck. Sansa clutched at his shirt and shut his eyes. That did feel rather good…

“You were saying?” Jaime murmured against her collarbone as he pushed her back onto the couch. 

Sansa’s head met with a cushion and her heart started to race. Did Jaime think tonight was the night? “I’m not on the pill yet. I have an appointment tomorrow,” she blurted out. And then she winced and turned her face from his. Could she have sounded any more like a child? Ygritte was right about so many things as it turned out…

“Sansa, will you look at me?”

Slowly, she turned her face to look up at him. He was smiling lazily at her. “I know you’re not ready for sex yet,” he said. “You’re a virgin, aren’t you?”

She nodded, and she felt her cheeks begin to warm. “I am that obvious?”

“No…maybe a little.”

“Oh, God,” she moaned and put he hands over her face. 

“Do think there is something wrong with that?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t know what I’m doing!”

He gripped her wrists and pulled her hands form her face. “That doesn’t mean you’ll never know. It just means you need someone to teach you.”

She turned her head to look up at him. Jaime wanted to be that someone, she knew that much. But did she want him to be? It was heady to think of – this hot, older, and cultured man wanted her. _Her._ It didn’t make her feel so childish and stupid. It rather made her feel….powerful. 

“Can—can we take it slow?” she asked. 

“Of course, Sansa.” He then stretched out beside her on the couch and gathered her in his arms and nuzzled the side of her face. “If I do something you don’t like, just tell me to stop.”

Sansa nodded and whispered, “Okay,” before he kissed her again. 

xxxxxxx

“Well, well, well, look at who finally came home,” Margaery drawled when Sansa finally arrived home that night. 

Sansa jumped a mile. “Geez, Margaery, it’s pitch black in here. I thought you were sleeping. You scared the crap out of me!”

“I couldn’t sleep.” 

She heard Margaery moving around and then a second later, her desk lamp came on. Her friend was frowning. “How was Drogo?”

“He felt me up,” Sansa said and then giggled. 

Margaery sighed. “Sansa…”

“Can you just not lecture me or make me feel bad about it? I liked it. I wanted it.”

“Do you? Or are you settling for Jaime because you can’t have Jon? Although you could—”

“Please, not this again,” Sansa said, a bit sharply. “Jon is with Ygritte and he’s happy.”

“I don’t think he’s as happy as you think. Or as happy as Ygritte would like to pretend they are,” Margaery said softly. 

“Did she say something to you while Jon and I were climbing the rocks?” Sansa asked. 

“Yeah, she went on at great length about how compatible she and Jon were, how they both felt as though they’d known each other forever…it was disgusting.” Margaery looked disgusted just at the memory of it. 

Sansa’s heart clenched. “And what did you say?”

“I told her that if she ever needed advice on how to handle Jon, or you know, what to get him as a gift or whatever, you’d be the person to talk to since you know him best of all.”

Sansa burst out into a laugh. “Oh, I’m sure she loved that!”

“It shut her up.”

Sansa considered for a minute telling Margaery about what Ygritte had said to her in the bookstore, but then opted not to. That was just a can of worms. It was best to keep it to herself. 

“Whatever I thought was there,” Sansa said. “Whatever confusion I felt, I just want to put it behind me now. I feel like I’ve been in some limbo with it and as a result I feel like maybe I kept Jon in that limbo too. I’m just going to move forward with Jaime and let Jon be happy with Ygritte.”

Margaery just looked at her, and then with a sigh, burrowed back under her covers. “Okay.”


	15. Chapter 15

The next couple weeks flew by for Sansa. Between voice lessons to prep her song for auditions and keeping up with her schoolwork, she didn’t see Jon much at all. She did see Jaime though. She was thankful he was so patient with her, because she felt like a prude a lot of the time. There was a lot of dry humping going on, needless to say. Sansa just didn’t know what her deal was. She had thought when given the opportunity to fool around she would have been all over it. But, no. She just couldn’t relax enough with Jaime to let him touch her in the ways he wanted. He said he wasn’t upset and understood, but Sansa wondered if he was lying. 

On the day of her audition, she was a bundle of nerves and spent the morning preparing (despite how Jaime told her to rest her “instrument”) while Margaery was out of the room. She had chosen to sing “Make it Real” by The Jets. It was a bold choice since not many people remembered that band from the 80s, but she had a funny feeling there would be a lot of auditions featuring Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. Sansa wanted to be different. She had already supplied the music to the small band that would be accompanying her, so she was all set with that. All she had to do was make sure to hit the notes as Brienne had taught her. 

She was in the middle of her third round of the song when there was a knock on the door. It was Jon. “Hey, stranger,” he said with a wide smile.

Sansa practically jumped on him; she was so happy to see him. “Jon!”

He laughed as he hugged her tightly. “I’ve missed you,” he murmured. 

“I’ve missed you too,” she said with a sigh. She pulled away and looked at him. “You’re wearing a blue t-shirt, and it’s not navy! I love it.” She stepped to the side. “Come in, come in.”

“I could hear you in the hall,” he said as he stepped inside. Sansa shut the door behind him. “Your voice sounds different lately, I meant to tell you that. Your singing voice I mean. I heard it when you were singing in the car when we all went out.”

“Different good I hope?” 

“Of course.”

“I’ve um, I’ve been taking lessons.”

“Really? Where? Here?”

She nodded. “Yeah, Jaime set me up with her. It’s over now that auditions are here.”

Jon’s brow furrowed. “Auditions?”

“Yeah, you know with the – oh. I didn’t tell you about that, did I?”

“No, I don’t think you did. What auditions?”

Sansa sat down on her bed. “Jaime told me about it—”

“Of course he did,” Jon muttered. 

She shot him a look and he waved at her to continue. “The music department is putting on a show of 80s and 90s music. Jaime, in his quest to get me to declare music as my major, told me I should audition. So I am.”

“Jaime isn’t the only one that thought you should declare music your major,” Jon said softly. There was tension in his voice. “I did too.”

“Well it doesn’t really matter either way, does it?”

Jon wanted to tell her that it did matter. It mattered because she put Jaime fucking Lannister up on some kind of pedestal and followed what Jaime said when Jaime said it… Jon just wanted to know that he mattered to her, too. And it was silly to think that he might not when he knew that he did. 

“Does Drogo know about today?” he asked. 

Sansa nodded. “He does.”

“Will he be there?”

“No. I don’t want anyone there.”

Jon clenched his jaw. “Jaime will be there of course.”

“Yes. He kind of has to be.”

Jon knew that. He knew that logically. But he still didn’t like it. And he could see Sansa was nervous based on the way she was fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. She did that when she was nervous. Did Jaime know that? Did Drogo?

“When do you have to go?” Jon asked. 

Sansa glanced at her alarm clock. “Now.”

Jon nodded. So much for spending time with Sansa. “Can we do something after?”

She bit her lip. “I’m sorry. I can’t. I have plans…”

“Drogo?”

“Yeah. Hey, how’s things with Ygritte?”

“Fine,” he mumbled. And they were fine. Even if they’d only had sex once and it was because she had practically jumped him and demanded it. Of all days it had been after they’d spent the day with Margaery and Sansa and he’d been so fucked in the head over Sansa…

There had to be something wrong with him that he didn’t really want to have sex with her. He was a red-blooded male and yet he was facing the very real problem that he wasn’t sexually attracted to his girlfriend. 

Furthermore, he hadn’t even been ready to commit to her being his girlfriend but then everyone started giving her that label and he went with it because that’s what Jon did. He just went along with things. He was tired of going along with things. 

“Trouble in paradise?” Sansa asked as she started to collect her books and a tote bag. 

“No, it’s fine,” he said. But he was angry. Not something Jon was very often, but he was finding himself irritated lately for no apparent reason. 

Plus, he missed Sansa, and couldn’t get thoughts of what she might be doing with Drogo out of his head. Had she had sex with him yet? Was he pressuring her into it? Did she care about him? Love him?

“Do you love him?” Jon blurted out. “Drogo, I mean. Do you love him?”

Sansa looked stunned that he’d asked that. She shook her head. “No, I don’t. Do you love Ygritte?”

No, he didn’t. And he’d just realized that he didn’t know if he ever could. “Do you think you could love him?” Jon asked instead of answering her. 

“I…don’t know. Maybe?”

Jon understood then what she’d felt when he’d started dating Ygritte. She had been afraid to lose him and Jon felt now that he was losing her. Drogo and fucking Jaime Lannister got parts of her that he didn’t. All this time he hadn’t known about her singing lessons, about this audition, about her thoughts on declaring her major to music. But they did. What had happened to the days when Sansa told him everything? 

“Walk you outside?” she asked with a small smile. 

Jon nodded and they walked in silence out of her room, down the hall, and then outside. They’d never been so quiet with each other. Their natural rhythm was off and Jon felt out of sorts because of it. 

Once they reached the front of the dorm, Sansa turned to him. “See you later?”

“Good luck,” he said. “Send me a text and let me know how it went?”

“Of course,” she said. But he knew that she wouldn’t. 

xxxxxxxx

Sansa had never been more nervous in her life than when it was time for her to sing. The only people she knew in that room was Jaime and Brienne. Everyone else knew each other, the way you do when you share classes with people on a regular basis. 

Just feeling the energy of the group, the excitement, and being around people who loved to perform as she did – Sansa knew that she didn’t have to do this to prove to herself this was where she belonged. The problem, of course, would be telling her parents about her decision to declare a major they probably wouldn’t be happy about.

Sansa barely even remembered singing. After the last note died, she thanked everyone and left, feeling as though she was outside herself. Jaime met up with her in the hall and hugged her. “You did fantastic!” he exclaimed. “I’m so proud of you!”

“I did okay? I think I blanked out completely,” she said with a laugh. 

“It was bloody brilliant, Sansa,” Jaime told her and beamed at her. “If I could kiss you right now I would,” he murmured. 

“Tonight?” she asked hopefully.

His smile fell and he rubbed the back of his neck. “I can’t, unfortunately. Perhaps tomorrow night?”

She was disappointed, having made sure she was free in case he wanted to celebrate. “Uh, sure, yes, that sounds great.”

He grinned. “I’m very proud of you.”

She smiled. “Thank you.”

The door to the audition room opened then and out came Jeyne, one of the students that Sansa had chatted with inside. “Hey, Sansa, some of us were wondering if you wanted to grab a bite to eat with us after?”

Sansa broke into a wide smile. “Yes, please, I’d like that.”

Jaime nodded, looking quite pleased with this turn of events and Sansa left after giving Jeyne her phone number. She felt as though she was walking on a cloud; it had been a long time since she’d last felt like that.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The shitteth shall hitteth the faneth.

Her lesson with Jaime was canceled the following afternoon and though disappointed, Sansa was pleased to have a free hour. She was sure that he’d send her a text at some point with finalized plans for them that night. Not that they did much else but go to his place, have dinner, and make out. 

She still didn’t know if he had a kid. Or several kids. He was never quite that open about anything personal, now that she thought about it. He talked about his travels, experiences as a professor, concerts he’d been to, but nothing was ever really all that personal. On the other hand, she’d never asked either. Part of her was afraid to know, quite frankly. Plus, when he started regaling her with stories, she found herself swept up in the tales he spun. He had a knack for storytelling. Jon was more on the quiet side so it was different than what she was used to. 

And she should probably stop comparing Jaime and Jon at some point. 

So, during her free hour she visited the people she needed to visit such as her advisor and Admissions to see about declaring her major for next semester. A part of her felt perhaps she should talk to her parents first, but then if she already had the process going it would be harder to stop, and that’s what she was going for. 

She even sent a text to Jon to tell him what she had done after she’d set the wheels in motion. 

He replied back almost immediately. _You’re really going to do it?_

She replied back simply: _Yes._

He came back with: _I’m glad. How was the audition? You never let me know…_

She frowned and typed: _I’m sorry. It went really well. I should know by the end of tomorrow if I made it._

Her ever trusty Jon came back with: _I’ve no doubt that you made it, Sansa. You have an amazing voice and you’re very talented. I wish I could have been there to see you sing, but I will definitely be there for the show._

She smiled and typed back: _Thank you. Oh, and I made some new friends! I went out with a bunch of people from the auditions last night._

His text back made her laugh: _If they are a better influence than Margaery then I approve._

Sansa: _I’m gonna tell her you said that._

Jon: _Don’t you dare._

“Oh my God, Sansa, I need to fucking talk to you like _now_!”

Sansa looked up thinking, well, there went her solitude and peace for the next hour under her favorite tree on the quad. She wasn’t too worried about Margaery’s current excitable state. She got like this at least twice a day over something. Sansa just took it all in stride now. “What is it?” she asked. Her phone dinged again, signaling a text. Sansa would get to him in a minute. 

Margaery plopped right down on the grass and looked around them. 

“Margaery, seriously, what is it?” Sansa asked with a laugh. 

“I don’t want anyone to hear,” Margaery said and then looked her friend. “Have you heard from your boy Jaime?”

Sansa furrowed her brows. “No, why?”

“Because the motherfucker is going on a _sabbatical_. Starting, like, _today_.”

xxxxxx

Jon frowned at his phone, waiting for Sansa to reply to his question of whether or not she was free tonight. He forced himself to pocket his phone instead of staring at it and willing her reply to come through. He was pathetic. Completely and utterly pathetic. 

She was probably going out with Drogo again. It was getting to the point of ridiculousness that he had yet to meet the guy. Jon just wanted to clap eyes on him at least once. Okay, so he also wanted to talk to the guy, find out what his intentions were regarding Sansa. 

Christ. He _did_ sound like her father. 

He might as well just accept the fact that no guy was ever going to be good enough for his Sansa. He just hoped this guy knew what he had in her. He also had better be respectful and not pushy – Sansa needed to go at her own pace—

“Hey, Drogo!”

Jon’s head whipped up and he looked around. He saw some skinny kid waving madly on the lawn. He tracked the path the guy was looking down and was quite fairly taken aback when he saw a great hulking beast of a man with long hair pulled at the nape, dark eyes and muscles that looked like he could crush a skull in them. The tight t-shirt he wore didn’t hide much. 

Jon didn’t ever compare himself to other guys. He was who he was. He worked out, he knew he had a good muscle tone, and that he wasn’t a bad looking guy. Drogo, on the other hand…he was a giant. And he rather made Jon feel a bit inadequate. It was confirmed that this was Drogo when the hulking beast held up a hand at the guy waving to him. 

“Class has been canceled!” the guy shouted. 

Drogo nodded once and the other guy ran off. Drogo continued down the path and Jon decided to step right in front of it. 

xxxxxxx

Sansa made like a guppy at her friend. Finally, she managed to say, “ _What_?”

“It’s spreading like wildfire. This girl in my class, Gilly, has him as her advisor. She went to talk to him about a class next semester and he was packing his office up!”

“ _What_?”

Margaery nodded, looking almost proud of herself. Granted, she was always proud of herself when she got a hold of a juicy bit of gossip. Sansa, on the other hand, couldn’t even think. 

“Gilly asked him what was going on and he said he was going away. On a _trip_. And that he didn’t know when he’d be back.”

Sansa made like a guppy again. 

Gilly left and went downstairs and was in the lounge waiting for her next class to start when Jaime and his brother came down the stairs together. Gilly overheard Jaime’s brother saying that if he wouldn’t have found himself in this trouble had kept it in his pants and not fucked around _again_ with _another_ student.”

Sansa’s arms were like steel bands at her sides. Her nails dug into the Earth, her eyes were wide and there was a roaring in her eyes. “Did they…did they mean…me?”

Margaery’s expression softened and now she actually looked sad. “No, little dove. They were talking about some student named Tysha.”

xxxxxx

Drogo looked down his nose at Jon and arched a brow. Jon held up a hand. “Hi, you don’t know me—”

“I’m straight,” Drogo said. He had an accent that Jon couldn’t place, not that that mattered, but he could see how that might have turned Sansa’s head. She had a thing for accents. 

Jon shook his head and laughed softly. “No, I’m not hitting on you. I wanted to introduce myself. We have someone mutual in common.”

Drogo furrowed his brow. “Who?”

“Sansa.”

Again Drogo said, “Who?”

xxxxxxx

“Sansa? Are you in there? Blink if you can hear me.”

Sansa blinked rapidly. She’d been staring off for so long trying to catch up with what Margaery was telling her that her vision had gone blurry. She looked at her friend. “It wasn’t me?”

“No. Your name wasn’t mentioned. It hasn’t been. You haven’t heard anything about this at all?”

Sansa shook her head. “My first class was with Jaime today. There was a note on the door that it was canceled.”

“He never texted? Called?”

Sansa shook her head. “No…he never…no.”

“He’s a mother fucker. God, I hate him. Sansa, I know this sucks total ass, but I’m glad you can put him behind you now.” Margaery shook her head slowly. “You weren’t the only one.”

No, apparently not. And that’s what hurt most of all. Sansa had thought she was special, but she wasn’t. Not at all. She was just another girl. Another girl for him to fool around with and apparently there had been others before her. Probably before this Tysha chick. 

Oh, God. She felt sick. 

“You know how rumors are once they get going,” Margaery said. “Apparently, he had had an affair with a couple girls last semester, too. They’ve since graduated, but one of them stalked him after he put an end to it. People are saying that’s how he lost his wife. Though I hear she was a bitch anyway.”

“But I mean, is any of it true?” Sansa asked. 

“Do you really doubt it? His leaving so suddenly pretty much implies guilt don’t you think?”

Yes, she did think. But she still wanted to hear it from the source directly. 

xxxxxxxx

Jon hadn’t been prepared for that. “You know, Sansa. Sansa Stark. Your girlfriend? The one you’ve been seeing for about a month now?”

Drogo shook his head. “You have me confused with someone else. I don’t know a Sansa.”

Jon opened his mouth to tell he most certainly did know Sansa, when a familiar looking white-blond woman came running up and slipped her arm through Drogo’s. “Hey baby,” she said. Drogo grinned down at her and bent to kiss her quickly. On the lips. 

“Now hold on a goddammed minute,” Jon said, his temper flaring. Was this hulking beast doing Sansa wrong?

“Do I know you?” the woman asked him. “You look familiar.”

Jon ignored her and focused on Drogo. “You know Sansa Stark. I know you know Sansa, because she told me all about you. You’ve taken her out—”

“Whoa, hold on a second,” the blond woman said, her finger up and waving. “Sansa Stark? She’s on my floor.”

Jon now knew who this was. He pointed at her. “You’re her RA, right?”

She nodded. “Daenerys. What the hell is this about my man is dating Sansa?”

“I am not dating this Sansa,” Drogo said. “I don’t even know who she is.”

“You had better not be dating her,” Daenerys said and moved away from him. Her hands were on her hips and she looked ready for a fight. 

“I do not know who she is!” Drogo exclaimed. 

“Then why is he saying that you’re dating her?” Daenerys demanded. 

“I sincerely hope that you’re not leading both women on, or cheating on one with the other,” Jon said angrily. 

“I’ve seen you give eyes to her before now that I think about it,” Daenerys said, eyes narrowed. “What the fuck, Drogo?”

“Stay the fuck away from Sansa,” Jon growled at him. 

And then Drogo punched him. Three times. As Jon lay on the ground, he wondered when the yellow birds would start circling his head the way they did in the cartoons of his youth. 

xxxxxx

Sansa paced her and Margaery’s dorm room, her phone clutched in her hand and willing Jaime to respond to her. She needed to know; to hear it from him. She wanted the truth, no matter how sordid it was. 

Margaery watched her quietly, a pillow on her lap. She was playing with the hem of her pink silk pillowcase and looking worried. “Could you maybe talk to his brother?” she asked finally. 

“How can I talk to Tyrion without letting him know that I was hooking up with his brother?” Sansa demanded. She realized she might sound a tad hysterical. 

Then a knock came at the door. Sansa and Margaery looked at each other and then Sansa ran to the door, heart hammering in her chest. She whipped the door open and found Jon. 

Her eyes went wide. He looked like he was developing a black eye, and his lip was swollen on one side and split. He also looked downright pissed. 

“Jon!” Sansa exclaimed and yanked him into the room. “What the fuck happened to you!”

“Holy shit!” Margaery exclaimed. “Did Ygritte do that?”

Jon shot her a look and Margaery said, “What? That chick is a bitch; it’s a legit question.”

“No, it was not Ygritte,” Jon snapped and looked at Sansa. “Ask me who I just met, Sansa. Ask me who just punched me out cold.”

Sansa shook her head. “I don’t want to.”

“I will,” Margaery said and got up. She stood next to Sansa. “Who did you meet and who just punched you out cold?”

“Drogo,” Jon replied, looking at Sansa. 

Sansa rubbed her forehead and made a face. “Oh, shit.”

“Yeah, exactly,” Jon said. She had never seen him so angry. “What the _fuck_ is going on, Sansa?”


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Before Sansa could even get one word out, someone was pounding on the door. Margaery ran over and seemed not at all surprised to see Daenerys standing there. She stormed into the room, practically pushing Margaery aside and Sansa knew it: she was about to get punched. 

But then Jon stood in front of her. As pissed as he was at her, he was still protecting her. 

"What the hell, Sansa?" Daenerys demanded. "Are you hooking up with my boyfriend?"

"No, I'm not. I don't think he even knows who I am," Sansa said. God, she was really in it now. "I," she cleared her throat, "I lied to Jon because I knew he didn't approve of the guy I was seeing and your boyfriend was the first name that came to me and it just came out and I went with it and - shit, I'm just so sorry."

Daenerys glared at her over Jon's shoulder. "Is that the truth?"

Sansa nodded. "Yes."

"Who is the guy that your friend here wouldn't approve of?" Daenerys asked. 

"I...I can't tell you that," Sansa said. 

"You better not be fucking lying to me, Sansa," Daenerys said. 

"I'm not. I'm pretty sure that your boyfriend doesn't even know who the hell I am."

"He says he doesn't," Daenerys said slowly. 

"Then I would definitely trust him on that."

Daenerys just stared at her for a long few seconds and then stormed out as quickly as she'd stormed in, and slammed the door behind her. 

Jon turned slowly to face Sansa. "Who is it, Sansa? Who is the guy?"

"I'm um, I'm gonna go..." Margaery said and then she was out the door before Sansa could say a word. 

Sansa looked at Jon, who looked ready to erupt. "Can I um, can I just find something for that eye?" she asked softly. 

"I don't care about my fucking eye," he growled. "Tell me who it is, Sansa. Now."

Jon never got demanding like that. Never. So she let it go because he a. he was never bossy, b. he'd gotten punched because of her and c. she had been lying to him this whole time so he had a right to be pissed. 

"Jaime. It is Jaime. Or was because—"

He let out an inhuman roar, his whole being vibrating with rage. "I can't fucking believe you!"

"Jon—"

"I'm going to kill him," Jon said furiously and started for the door. 

Sansa leapt after him and grabbed his arm. “Jon, no, you can’t—”

“Don’t tell me what I can’t do, Sansa. That prick is asking for it—”

“Jon, he’s left the school!”

“Then I’ll find out where he lives—”

“No, Jon, he’s been asked to leave the school is what I’m saying. Or at least that’s what I gather. He’s going on an extended sabbatical. He might have even been fired. It’s apparently all over the school that he was fooling around with a student.”

“And is that student you?” Jon said with a calm that was just as lethal and deadly as his rage. 

“No. Some other student.”

Jon pointed at her. “I told you. I told you he was scum.”

“Yes, well, I can imagine how good it feels to have been right about that,” Sansa snapped and turned away from him. She went over to her bed and sat down. 

“Don’t you dare, Sansa, don’t you dare turn this around and make me the bad guy here. You lied to me.”

“I know.”

“Every time you said you were going to see Drogo it was that fucker you were going to see, wasn’t it?”

She nodded. 

“What did he do to you?”

She looked at him, brows furrowed in question. “What do you mean what did he do to me? He didn’t blackmail me—”

“Did you have sex with him?” Jon demanded. 

“Jesus – how is that any of your business?!”

“Because you’re mine to protect!”

“I told you I released you from your duties!” she shouted as she stood back up. 

“I’m not talking about what I promised your parents or Robb,” he practically spat. “I don’t care about that, I care about what happens to you, and the idea of that ass touching you…”

“He didn’t rape me, Jon,” she told him. “Anything that he and I did I did willingly.”

He shut his eyes and wiped a hand down his face. “Did you have sex with him, Sansa?”

“No! God! Why is that the big deal?”

“Because your first time shouldn’t be with someone like that.”

She looked at him incredulously. “I didn’t know that my first time was such a big deal to you. When it happens do you want me to give you a ring and let you know? Are you planning on throwing a party – I mean, what is the big deal for you if I do or—”

“I know it’s a big deal to you, so it’s a big deal to me. I can’t—” He broke off, the very picture of frustration. 

“Can’t what?”

“Forget it,” he muttered and raked a hand through his hair. “I can’t believe you lied to me. How long was this going on for? Before we went to the movies that night and I asked you specifically—”

“No. It started after the night of Theon’s party when Ramsay… you know.”

He shut his eyes again briefly. “God, I wish I would have been there with you.”

“You can’t be with me every second of every day,” she told him. “And you can’t tell me who I can and can’t see. You’re not my keeper, Jon. I do make my own decisions and I made the choice to date Jaime—”

“That wasn’t dating, Sansa. That was sordid and wrong and—”

“Oh, fuck you! Just because you don’t approve…”

“Yeah?”

She folded her arms across her chest. “I get it, okay? I was wrong and you were right. I shouldn’t have dated him, I shouldn’t have lied to you – I get it. I have egg on my face as it is. As stupid as it must make me, I thought he genuinely cared about me, Jon. He pushed me to audition for that show, he pushed me to change my major…”

“Well, the one thing he could do right was his job. Sansa, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I knew you would have flipped out the way you are now!”

He looked like he wanted to throttle her. “No, see, I just got my ass handed to me because I wanted to finally meet the guy who I was told was your boyfriend. I accused that guy of cheating on his girlfriend! He punched me three times, Sansa. And the whole time you were just lying to me while you did something dangerous with your professor!”

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I know I shouldn’t have done it – not any of it, but I didn’t care at the time. I just wanted…I just wanted…”

“What, Sansa, what did you want?” Jon demanded. 

“I wanted someone to want me! I wanted someone because you already did and I didn’t. He made me feel good. He was sweet to me. He got Ramsay kicked out of this school. He supported me—”

“I support you.”

“It isn’t a competition!”

Silence fell. Jon looked like there were a million things he wanted to say, but for some reason he was now quiet. He heaved a sigh, shook his head, and then stormed out of the room. Sansa started to cry. 

xxxxxx

Jon was so angry he just wanted to punch something. Someone. Specifically Jaime fucking Lannister. He stopped abruptly in the middle of the path to his dorm and narrowed his eyes. Sam was a genius when it came to finding people…

Maybe he could actually punch Jaime Lannister. If the douchebag got him arrested well…

It would be worth it. 

xxxxx

It took nothing to find Jaime Lannister. Google was a marvel. And, thanks to his GPS, it didn’t take Jon long to find the rat bastards house. 

When the other man answered the door, Jon didn’t even have to think about it. He didn’t hesitate. He punched him. Hard. Dr. Lannister stumbled backwards and brought his hand to his nose. When he got a look at Jon he sighed and said, “Jon right? Sansa’s friend?”

Jon nodded, fists still balled up at his sides. 

“I deserved that then I suppose,” Dr. Lannister said. He grabbed a tissue off the table against the wall and brought it to his nose. Jon saw him pull away the tissue with blood on it. 

“I’ve never liked you,” Jon snarled. 

“Well, no, I don’t suppose you would like me I mean, you are in love with Sansa and all.”

Jon’s fists went lax. He looked at Dr. Lannister as if he didn’t know what to make of that – and he didn’t. In love with Sansa?

Dr. Lannister chuckled. “Oh, you didn’t know, huh?”

Jon just continued to stare at him, just utterly reeling from that. 

“Well, Jon, it’s been quite obvious to me. Sansa doesn’t have a clue. And if it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure she is, or was, in love with you, too. She was pretty distraught when you started to date. But then, that helped me slip in, so…”

Jon went after him again and Dr. Lannister held up his hands. “Just stop, son, just stop.”

“It seems to me that if you can call me that, then you are aware that there is a significant age gap between us. I’m only two years older than Sansa, so you know that she is younger than I am.”

“I am aware, yes, but that’s what makes me the predator in this scenario isn’t it?”

“You admit it?”

“What choice do I have? It’s the reason I have left the school.”

“Were you fired?” _Please say you were fired,_ Jon thought. 

“Is that the rumor? No, I wasn’t fired. I was _strongly encouraged_ to go by my brother who threatened to have me fired. He found out about the other girl…saw us together or some shit. Anyway, I went to the school and told them I had to leave, that there were personal issues keeping me from being able to continue teaching. I’m pretty sure they knew what that meant.”

“Because it wasn’t the first time.”

Dr. Lannister just shrugged, nonplussed. “Listen, Jon, will you give Sansa a message for me?”

“Maybe I didn’t break your face enough,” Jon said and started after him again. 

Dr. Lannister held up his hands again and Jon thought – he’s not some knight in shining armor. He’s a fucking chicken shit. 

“Just tell her that I’m sorry. Tell her that she does have talent and that whatever else she may think of me, I do truly believe in her.”

Jon wanted to hit him again. Badly. He forced himself to leave before he did.

When he returned to the dorm room, Sam informed him that Ygritte had stopped by looking for him, but Jon just didn’t care. He sat down next to Sam on the couch, hunched over. 

“Did you hit him?” Sam asked. 

“Yes. Once. I wanted to hit him a lot more than that though.”

“What does it say about a guy that would defend the honor of his best friend the way you just did,” Sam said. 

Jon looked at him wearily. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I just think that you went to a lot of trouble to defend Sansa’s honor. It wasn’t as though Dr. Lannister was on campus and you could go to his office or find him in the quad. You came here, we looked him up online, and you drove to his house to punch him.”

“What’s your point, Sam?” Jon snapped. 

“Do I really have to spell it out for you?”

Jon pursed his lips together and shook his head. He got up from the sofa and went to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. 

He got the gist of what Sam meant. It was the same thing Dr. Lannister had accused him of. 

_“…I mean, you are in love with Sansa and all.”_

And then Sansa with her “It’s not a competition.”

It felt like one. How did Dr. Lannister rate? How did he get to touch her and kiss her and hold her – that was, of course, assuming Jon even wanted that which he did not. . . 

_Except that he did._

And how did Dr. Lannister get to be her champion? He saved her from Ramsay, he got Ramsay kicked out, he gets her to declare a major and audition for a performance…all these things that Jon wished he had done for her. 

But he’d been with Ygritte…

Not that he couldn’t have his own life and do his own thing – and that included dating, but…

Jon sat down on his bed. There was a tremble in his hands. Oh, God. Was Dr. Lannister right? Was he in love with Sansa?

He thought of their friendship, their very special friendship. How he knew her so well. How she knew him so well. Sansa knew what he was thinking at all times just by the look on his face and it was the same for him with her. He thought about how he felt as though she was in his blood, in his bones…how much a part of him she was. 

He hadn’t been able to stand the idea of her with someone this whole time. When he was with Ygritte, his mind was on Sansa. When he wasn’t with Ygritte, his mind was on Sansa. 

His mind was _always_ on Sansa. 

He hated that Dr. Lannister was able to get as close to her as he obviously had. He’d been her champion, her hero, and Jon hated it. He was her hero. 

_“Have I ever told you that you’re my hero?”_

_“Not this again. Do I have to?”_

_“Yes!”_

_“Sansa, no. Let me retain some dignity, please?”_

Jon’s heart was racing. He felt like it might just race right out of his chest. He wanted her smiles. Her touches. He wanted _her_. 

Sam knocked on the door and when Jon didn’t answer, he entered anyway. “Listen, I was out of line. I’m sorry—” 

“I think I’m in love with Sansa,” Jon blurted out. 

Sam just looked at him and then slowly broke in a wide smile. “Yes, Jon. I think you are, too.”


	18. Chapter 18

Jon was torn. Part of him wanted to run to Sansa and tell her how he felt. The other part was terrified to do so. He felt full to bursting with this new discovery. He was in love! And in love with his best friend, with the woman that knew him better than anyone, even Robb. And yet his heart had never ached as horribly as did now. Could she learn to love him? Had she been so enraptured by Dr. Lannister that her heart needed to be mended? If he told her how he felt now, would she run in the other direction?

“Tell her,” Sam said as Jon paced the length of their lounge. 

“I want to, Sam, but I can’t just lay it at her feet right now.”

“Why not?”

Jon looked at him incredulously. “Because I’ve no idea how wrecked she is because of that bastard…”

“And?”

Jon sighed. “I have to break up with Ygritte.”

Sam made a face. “Oh, yes. Well, good luck with that.”

“Yes, thank you, Sam,” Jon said drily. He raked a hand through his hair. “Margaery may have foretold the future. I may very well get punched by Ygritte when I tell her we’re over.”

“How do you plan to do it then? You’re not going to tell her that you’re in love with Sansa, are you?”

Jon frowned. “I hadn’t planned on it…but what if things do work out the way I want them to – the way I hope they will for Sansa and I. She might see us together. She would know then wouldn’t she? I feel like I should prepare her so she’s not blindsided.”

“Jon, you can’t protect her from being hurt. You’re going to break up with her; she will be upset by it. What happens after…I mean, I know you are a good guy that wants to protect others from harm, but you also have to live your life.”

“Yes, you’re right.”

“Besides, I know you. You’d still try to hide your relationship with Sansa from Ygritte to protect her from being hurt anyway. And I doubt Sansa would take well to that.”

“No,” Jon said firmly. “She wouldn’t stand for it.” He grinned. “The little spitfire that she is.”

“Do you know that I have never seen you once this…downright _giddy_ with Ygritte as you are at the mere thought of Sansa?” Sam asked. 

Jon placed his hand over his heart. “I love her, Sam. I feel like my heart is just so full and I could – I could fucking break out in song or…” he shook his head and groaned. “I sound pathetic, don’t I?”

Sam laughed and shook his head. “You do remember who you’re talking to, right? The guy that is more romantic than all the members of the band Chicago combined?”

Jon grinned. “And you will find someone that will appreciate that, Sam. I know the perfect girl is out there for you.”

Sam laughed again. “Ah, there it is. The ‘I’m so in love I want to couple the world!’ stage.”

Jon looked down sheepishly. “Yes, well…ask me how I feel if I ever get up the nerve to tell Sansa how I feel and she rejects me.”

“I don’t believe she will,” Sam said wisely. 

“You don’t?” Jon asked hopefully. 

“No, I don’t. I’ve watched you two together for a long while now, remember. I think she’s in love with you as well. She just needs a little push as you did.”

The door to their suite opened and Jon’s heart clenched. Had Sansa come to see him?

“Hello!”

Nope. It was Ygritte. Jon inwardly sighed. She came over and wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned in to kiss him. Jon turned his head so her lips landed on his cheek. 

“Jon?” 

He looked at her. “Ygritte, we need to talk.”

xxxxxxxx

Sansa lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling and singing “All By Myself” at the top of her lungs along with the song on her iPod. 

The door slammed and Sansa turned her head. Margaery stood there looking ready to kill her. “Sansa, have you been to any of your classes today?” she asked. 

“Yes,” Sansa said and turned down the volume on the iPod docking station next to her on her desk. “I went to my morning one. But Tyrion’s class was canceled. No doubt shuttling his brother out of the country or something.”

“Do you plan to go to your other classes?”

“What are you trying to say, Margaery?”

“That if this is what you plan to do while getting over Dr. Lannister and how pissed Jon is with you, then you may be down a best girlfriend cause this moping shit is already annoying. And it’s only day one! If I hear you play that fucking song again I might chuck you iPod out the window.”

Sansa sighed and shut down the docking station. “I’m not sure what I feel except guilt for having lied to Jon, worry that someone will somehow find out that I was fooling around with Jaime, and…God, I’m actually just so hurt and feel so betrayed by Jaime right now. I feel like a fool. I thought I was special.”

“Sounds like you actually do know what you feel, and that you feel a lot.”

Sansa sighed. “I wish I had the balls to see him. I know where he lives.”

“Maybe it would help you if you did. Maybe you need to hear from him why he did what he did.”

“Tyrion is probably with him…and I just…I’m afraid that he’ll just tell me he just saw me as some plaything. As a young woman that he could fuck with…and literally fuck. Part of me just wants to hold onto the idea that he wasn’t just trying to get in my pants when he said that I was talented.”

“You are talented, Sansa. He wasn’t wrong about that. You hear tomorrow about how auditions went, don’t you?”

Sansa nodded. And then she sat up. “Maybe I could just email him. I have his personal email.”

“Do it. You need closure.”

Margaery was right. She did. 

“You also need to talk to Jon.”

Margaery was right about that, too. 

Sansa grabbed her laptop off her desk. First things first. An e-mail to Jaime. She opened “new mail” and took a moment to figure out what it was she wanted to say. It didn’t take long for the words to come, because as it turned out there wasn’t much she wanted to know save for one thing. Margaery came over to read over her shoulder as she typed. 

_To: TheKnight@yahoo.com_  
From: Songstress1211@gmail.com  
Re: Hello 

_Jaime,_

_By now I’m sure you’re aware I know about you and what you’ve done. And apparently have been doing with others. I’m not going to blast you for it. What would be the point in that? I doubt it would make me feel better at this point to just call you a bunch of names and wish you a terrible life. I’m sure the life you’re leading now isn’t exactly how you imagined it would be._

_What I do want to know is if all that you said to me when we were…whatever it was we were doing…was true. Did you mean it when you said I had talent? Or was that just to get in my pants? I don’t want your pretty words, I just want the truth. If, that is, you can tell it._

_Sansa_

Margaery patted her head. “I think that’s perfect, little dove.”

Sansa hit send. Strangely, she already did feel better in doing just that. Then she sighed. “Okay, now it’s Jon’s turn.”

xxxxxxxx

Ygritte didn’t take it well. She hadn’t punched him, but she had tried. Jon had caught her wrist before she could land the blow. When she’d left, in a fit of tears and screaming she had stunned him by saying, “I know why you’re doing this. It’s because of Sansa, isn’t it?”

Jon had been too stunned to speak. Had everyone but him known how he’d felt about Sansa?

His silence had apparently been her answer. “That little girl will never make you happy.”

Jon had shaken his head and simply said, “I beg to differ.”

She’d left then, and though Jon felt terrible for having hurt her, he also felt relief. Hindsight being twenty/twenty, he honestly wasn’t sure why he’d stuck it out as long as he had. Sam had been right. Just the thought of Sansa brought him more joy than being with Ygritte ever had. 

It was evening now and Jon sat on his bed tossing his phone from hand to hand. He wanted to see Sansa, and if he couldn’t do that then he at least wanted to hear her sweet voice. He wanted to call her, and yet he was afraid to. Was she mourning the loss of Dr. Lannister? 

A knock came at his door and Jon sighed, thinking it was Sam, and hoping it wasn’t Ygritte coming back for more arguing. 

But it wasn’t either of them. It was Sansa. His sweet, funny Sansa whom he loved with a fierceness he didn’t know he was capable of. She didn’t look as though she’d been bawling her eyes out. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, sharpening her cheekbones, and she wore little makeup. She wore jeans and a shirt with a hood. She held in her hands a paper bag. 

Jon’s heart pounded hard in his chest. He wanted to pull her in his arms and never let go and at the same time he was unable to move. All he could do was stare. 

“So, I know that you’re probably still upset with me,” she said. 

Upset with – oh yeah. She had lied to him about seeing Dr. Lannister. Funny how that tidbit had taken a backseat to the fact that he was hopelessly in love with her. 

She frowned slightly when he didn’t reply. Had he forgotten how to talk to her? he wondered. 

“Right,” she said. “So—”

“Did you bring me more treats?” he managed to ask and nodded to the bag in her hands. 

“No. Well, there is some junk in there, but they are not the most important thing in the bag.”

“What is?”

She smiled and oh God, his stomach flip-flopped and his heart felt as though it was going to fly out of his chest and land at her feet. “Two lemons, two limes, salt that Margaery filched from the cafeteria, a pocket knife I filched from Margaery, and a bottle of tequila.”

His brows rose. “Tequila?” 

She nodded. “I thought – well, Jon and I need to talk and what better way to get Jon talking than to get him drunk? So you get the limes, because I know you prefer the limes. I get the lemons because I’m not going to let you have all the fun. So. Can I come in?” She actually looked nervous, like she thought he might say no. Even when he didn’t know he was in love with her he had never been able to deny her anything she wanted. 

To answer her question though, Jon stood to the side to let her pass.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is a nice long chapter... :)

Sansa and Jon sat together on the floor of Jon’s room, a white plastic plate of cut up lemons and limes in between them. The salt shaker sat in the middle of the plate and before each of them were shot glasses. Sansa had gotten herself a can of Coke as a chaser for the tequila. 

She started them off by licking the side of her hand, sprinkling the salt on her hand, licking that, then downing her shot and then sucking on the lemon. She tossed the used lemon in a nearby wastebasket. She made a face as the tequila went down and then she sipped her Coke. Jon watched her in amusement. The faces she made were entertaining. She placed the Coke down and said, “I’m sorry I lied to you about Jaime. I was just afraid if I did tell you, you’d do something to get him and I in trouble.”

Jon repeated her process of taking a shot and when he swallowed and put the shot glass down he said, “Well, you were right in that I would have found a way to stop him. I wouldn’t have let you get dragged through the mud in order to do that though.”

Sansa took another shot. “I didn’t want you to stop him, and I didn’t want to upset you.”

That Sansa wanted to protect Dr. Lannister stung. Jon took another shot. “Just how much did you care for him?”

She considered this as she licked her hand and then sprinkled salt on it. When she finished the shot, she said, “I don’t know that I cared about him as much as I thought – or you might think. I think I liked the idea of him. I liked that this hot older guy wanted me and thought I was something special enough to risk his career for.”

“Sansa, you _are_ something special,” Jon said emphatically. 

She shrugged a shoulder. “Turns out I’m not since there were others.”

“I’m not talking about Jaime fucking Lannister. You, Sansa Stark, are special.”

Her smile was wan, as if she was just humoring him. She pushed the bottle of tequila closer toward him, giving him the hint to take another shot. He did. 

“I went to see him,” Jon said. 

Her eyes went wide. “Say what now?”

“I went to see him. Sam got his address online and I went to his house. I punched him.”

Sansa practically leapt to her feet – and then promptly wobbled. Jon hurriedly got up to help steady her. She pointed at him. “You actually _went to his house_ and _punched_ him?”

“Yes. I had to do something, Sansa.”

“No, you really didn’t.”

“Yes, I did. He took advantage of you and maybe you didn’t have sex with him but you could have. He could have made you fall in love with him, he could have been your first, and he could have then broken your heart and possibly ruined your life if anyone had found out. I couldn’t just do nothing. It would have driven me round the bend to do nothing.”

She sank down onto the floor again. “Well, shit. Jon, I can’t believe you did that!”

He shrugged and sat down. “He deserved it. Don’t tell me he didn’t.”

Sansa took another shot, this time foregoing the salt. “He did,” she agreed. “But I still can’t believe you did that.” Her words were beginning to slur. 

Jon took another shot, too. Foregoing the salt and the lime. “I had to do something.”

“Did he say anything?” she asked. 

“Yes, he wanted me to let you know he was sorry. And that he truly believes in you.”

It was then that Sansa started to cry. Jon crawled over to her, not trusting his ability to stand at this point. The tequila was hitting him pretty hard. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into his side. “Don’ cry, Sans…” he murmured. “He’s not worth it.”

“I jus’ thought everything he said about my being talented was a lie…”

“It wasn’t. You are talented, Sansa.”

She took yet another shot and he did one after her. 

“I liked that someone wanted me. I’ve never had much luck with dating,” she said softly and tucked her head under his chin. “And then you started dating Regret and I felt like I had to hurry up and find someone.”

Jon dipped his head and kissed the top of her head. “Why did you feel like that?”

“I didn’t think you’d be around anymore.”

“I told you that you’d never lose me.”

“I didn’t believe you.”

“Clearly,” he muttered. “But your professor?”

“I may not have been thinkin’ clear…ly.”

He chuckled. “You drunk, sweetheart?”

“I think sssso,” she slurred. “Are you?”

“I’m buzzing pretty hard.”

“Not good enough.” She took another shot, no chaser this time, and then filled her shot glass and handed it to him. 

“I broke up with Regret,” Jon said. He was feeling it now. That was the thing with tequila. It just crept up on you. 

Sansa looked at him in shock. “You did?!”

He nodded. “I’m not in love with her and I didn’t see that happening.” Even in his inebriated state, Jon was cognizant enough to know that a drunken confession of his feelings to Sansa was probably not the best way to go. There was a chance she wouldn’t believe him, she was still clearly hurting over Dr. Lannister, and there was also the very real possibility that she wouldn’t remember it in the morning. He wanted to make sure she remembered everything quite clearly when he finally told her how he felt. 

“When did you…when did you…” she giggled. “I think I’m definitely drunk.”

Jon laughed and pulled her onto his lap. All right, so maybe he wasn’t quite that cognizant of some things – like how placing her on his lap might seem. He kissed her temple and wrapped his arms around her. 

“When did you do it?” she asked, breaking him out of his daze of holding Sansa so close. 

“Today,” he murmured and nuzzled the side of her face. 

She giggled again and moved her face away. “You’re tickling me.”

He contented himself with just holding her, but rubbed the side of his face against hers. 

“Jon.”

“Hmm?” he hummed. God, he wanted her. He wanted so much to just lay her down on his bed and make love to her. His cock liked that idea very much as it was currently hardening. 

“How did she take it?” Sansa asked. 

“Not well.” He didn’t want to think about that though. He just wanted to focus on Sansa. Sansa on his lap, her scent in his nose, his arms around her, her ass over his cock…

“I didn’t like her anyway,” she sighed. 

Jon chuckled at that. “I know.”

“She didn’t like me either. She was jealous of me.”

“She was right to be.”

“She called me a little girl.”

Jon froze. “What?”

“She told me I was a little girl and to stop playing games with you.”

Jon’s arms tightened around her as though he could protect her from Ygritte even now. “When was this?”

“That day we all went out? It was at the bookstore. She cornered me in the music department.”

“Why am I just hearing about this now?” he asked in annoyance. 

“She made it sound like if I told you then I would prove how childish I am. And I kind of felt she was right in some way so I opted not to tell you. I didn’t want to cause any trouble.”

“Sansa, you absolutely should have told me about that. She was out of line to say that to you.” Now that he thought of it, it was after that day that he and Sansa didn’t see much of each other and didn’t talk much. The thought that Ygritte could have succeeded in driving a permanent wedge between him and Sansa angered him. Added to that was the presence of Dr. Lannister. If he hadn’t been caught and Jon hadn’t figured out how he felt about Sansa then they might not be right here in this moment together. 

“I just want to hold you tight and never let you go,” Jon murmured against her neck. 

“Are you okay?” Sansa asked and patted his hand that was splayed almost possessively over her belly. He knew then that she hadn’t heard what he’d said. “I mean, are you upset about the break up?”

“No,” he said simply. “It was a relief.”

“So, since you’re so fond of asking me…did you have sex with her?”

“Sansa…”

He felt her tense. Interesting. Did that bother her? 

“So that’s a yes,” she said and laughed. It was fake though. Jon knew all of Sansa’s smiles and laughs and looks, and that was one of her fake laughs. Was it possible she was jealous?

“It was one time,” Jon said. “After…Jesus, after that day.”

“Talk about marking your territory,” Sansa drawled. 

“I didn’t really want to,” he admitted.

“How is that even possible? You’re a guy. I mean, if it’s being offered aren’t you pretty much raring to go?”

If she wanted to talk about raring to go…

“You should know by now that I’m not like most guys.”

She laughed. “Some things about men are the same across the board.”

“I suppose that’s where I am different then. I’d rather have sex with a woman when I feel something for her.”

Sansa peeled his hand of her belly and placed her hand against his. “You have big hands,” she murmured. 

“And you have tiny delicate hands,” he murmured back and watched her as she began to trace the lines of his hand with the tip of her finger. Could she feel how hard he was? He shifted, seeking some friction. Did she even notice? Or was she too drunk to realize?

“Jon?”

“Hmmm?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sansa, you can ask me anything you want.”

“Can you tell me about Val?”

He groaned. “Except that.”

“Please? It really upset me when what’s-her-face told me she knew all about Val when I never knew about her.”

“Is there anything else Ygritte said that you’d like to share with the class, Sansa?”

She sighed. “No. So, what’s the story there? Did you love her very much?”

 _Not like I love you_ , he thought. “Val was…she inducted me into the world of sex.”

She dropped his hand and crawled off his lap muttering, “Blech, why does everything go back to that?” 

Jon reached for her, but he was moving over to where he had been sitting and was pouring another shot. This time with salt and lemon and Coke. 

Jon did one after her. With lime. 

“So, was it lust then? Is that what you’re saying?” Sansa asked. 

“Yes, a lot of it was lust. But I didn’t realize that at the time.”

“See, Jon, you _are_ like other guys.”

He frowned. “Well, some of me is I suppose.”

“Robb said you were devastated after she left so it couldn’t have been just lust.”

Jon sighed. “I was devastated. I thought I loved her. I think I did, in a way.”

“What was she like? Was she like this amazing sex Goddess in bed? Was she bendy like a pretzel or something?”

Jon laughed. “Like a pretzel, huh?”

She chucked a lime at him. “Well? Was she?”

“Yes. She was very adventurous. I think she liked the idea of doing it in places where we could potentially be caught.”

Sansa’s brow furrowed adorably. “Like in public?”

“Yes.”

“Where did you do it in public?”

“Well, the library here for one.”

Now her eyes popped wide. “You fucked her in the library?”

He laughed and nodded. “Yes.”

“You. Jon Snow. You who won’t even send a meal back if it has a hair in it, fucked a girl in the library.”

“Yes, me, Jon Snow, fucked a girl in the library.”

“Jesus. No wonder you love that place so much. It brings back memories. Let me guess, you being the Renaissance man that you are – you took her to the poetry section didn’t you?”

He shook his head and laughed. “No. I think it was where they hold the microfiche actually. And she took me there, not the other way around.”

She did another shot. Then Jon did. 

She fell silent, and Jon could tell she was thinking something. 

“Sansa, come back here,” he said, gesturing to his lap. 

She shook her head and got to her feet. She swayed and then went to his iPod docking station and picked up his iPod and started fiddling with it. 

Jon got up and gripped the edge of the bureau to steady himself. Tequila liked to wait until one started to walk around before it hit full force. He decided then that he’d had enough to drink. He made his way over to her carefully. 

“Sansa, are you upset with me for some reason?” he asked softly as he ran his hand through her hair. 

“Nope.” But she wouldn’t look at him. 

“Sansa.”

She sighed and looked at him. “It’s just…sex.”

“What about it?”

“Nothing.”

“No, something is bothering you. Talk to me.” And then he pulled her in his arms, because he couldn’t seem to stop touching her. 

She rested her chin on his shoulder and Jon contented himself with running his fingers through her long red hair. God, he loved her hair. 

“How important is it to a guy?” she asked softly. 

Jon stilled his movements. “If the guy you’re with is worth anything then he will wait for you to be ready, Sansa.”

“Do I have to be adventurous right out the gate or is it something I can work up to?”

He smiled. “You can work up to it.”

“How important is it that I be…good at it? Jaime didn’t seem to mind that I had no experience, but he was also getting some on the side from some other girl. I only let him feel me up – ow, Jon, I can’t breathe.”

Jon forced himself to relax his arms. “Sorry.” The mere mention of that wanker getting to touch Sansa the way he was not yet able to drove him crazy. He leaned back so he could look at her. He took her face in his hands, which seemed to startle her, and said, “Sansa, no one is good at sex right away. It’s something you’ve never done. But with the right person you can explore and learn with them. Especially if you feel comfortable with them and you trust them.” _Trust me, Sansa, please…_

“Is that how you felt with Val? You trusted her?”

“Yes. When it came to sex, yes.”

“But not with other stuff?”

“I didn’t trust her to stick around. She wasn’t really the sticking around type.”

“I wish I could be more…unpredictable. Like Val sounds or like Margaery—”

“Sansa, sweetheart, no. I couldn’t take it if you were any more unpredictable.”

“But I’m not! I’m boring!”

“Boring? You dated your professor. Of all the things I would have thought you’d do, that was definitely not one of them.”

She considered this. “You may have a point.”

He smiled. “You keep me on my toes enough, Sansa. Let’s not forget that day you called me just as you were about to take a flying leap off a bridge.”

“Bungee jumping was Margaery’s idea.”

“So? You still did it.”

“True… hey, you know what?”

Jon inched closer to her, finding himself mesmerized by her lips. “Hmm?”

“I’m pretty awesome.”

He forced himself to move his gaze from her lips to her eyes. He laughed. “Yes, you are.” _And I love you, Sansa. I love you so much._

“Was Ygritte adventurous?”

“I don’t want to talk about her,” Jon muttered. 

Sansa pulled his hands off her face. “I need to use the bathroom.”

Ten minutes later Jon went in search of Sansa and found her chatting with Sam on the couch in their lounge. He wanted to drag her back in his room with him. He felt a bit covetous at that moment of her. He didn’t want to share. Instead of doing what he wanted, he used the bathroom and then came back and sat down beside her and took her hand in his. He couldn’t stop touching her and, thanks to the alcohol, his inhibitions were gone and he didn’t think twice about doing so. 

She rested her head on his shoulder and he kissed the top of her head. It seemed an unspoken agreement that they would watch the movie Sam was currently watching with him. And when it was over, Sansa chatted with him for a while until Sam went to his room. 

“I should go,” Sansa murmured, but she didn’t seem inclined to move. 

“No,” Jon said. “Stay.”

“Where will I sleep?”

“With me,” he whispered and got up. He pulled her up and then into his room. 

She didn’t look sure, but she was also drunk enough to not think so hard about what she was doing. 

Jon lay down on his bed and yanked on her hand, causing her to fall onto him sideways. They laughed together and she ended up in the spot next to the wall, her calves over his thighs. Jon turned into her and cupped the side of her face. She looked at him and Jon just couldn’t take it anymore. 

He kissed her. 

Finally, finally, he thought and drew her closer to him. He wanted to devour her. He wanted to roll on top of her and strip her clothes off and make love to her. He wanted to make her his. He wanted her moans; he wanted his name on her lips when she came. He wanted her wet heat on his cock, gripping him as he slid inside her again and again. 

All too soon she was stopping their kiss. She turned her head away and gripped his wrist. “Jon, no.”

“Why not?” he asked. He was hurt. Did she not feel what was between them?

“Because we’re drunk. You just broke up with your girlfriend and I...”

“I want to kiss you sober,” he said stubbornly.

“No, you don’t.”

He didn’t like her saying that. “Yes, I do,” he said.

But she didn’t believe him. Just as he knew she wouldn’t while they were in this state. 

“I need to go,” she said and started to get up. 

“No, Sansa, stay.”

“Jon—”

“I won’t kiss you again. I won’t do anything. Just sleep here with me, okay? Just let me hold you.”

She didn’t look sure still. 

“Sansa, we’ll just sleep, that’s all. I promise. I won’t feel you up in your sleep.”

She barked out a laugh. “I didn’t think you’d do that!”

He smiled. “Then stay.”

She heaved a sigh and then nodded. “Okay.” She turned away from him though, and lay on her side. Jon pressed his front to her back and wrapped an arm around her. She was stiff at first and then slowly started to relax. She put her hand over his on her stomach. 

“Sansa,” he murmured against the base of her neck. “My Sansa. Sansa. My Sansa…” Soon, he fell into sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An earlier update ;)

When Sansa woke up in the morning it took her a few to remember where she was. _Okay,_ she thought, _I’m in Jon’s room. In Jon’s bed, and yep, it’s Jon wrapped around me. With his hand on my boob. Tell me again how you’re not going to feel me up in my sleep, Jon…or that you’re not like other guys._

But she wasn’t upset. It was kind of comical in a way actually. Her next thought was about how she had to pee. 

But then: _Oh my God, Jon kissed me last night!_

Sansa’s mind rapidly went over the events of the previous night and…whoa. Jon had been rather touchy feely the night before. 

_“I want to kiss you sober,” Jon had said._

_“No, you don’t.”_

_“Yes, I do.”_

Sansa’s heart began to race. He couldn’t have meant that. She was just there, he’d just ended things with Ygritte – whom he’d even referred to as Regret the night before – and he was sad. Sure, he had said he’d felt relief and said quite plainly that he hadn’t been in love with her or saw that as ever happening, but still. A break-up, however good, could still make you feel things. She should know. 

Plus, drunk. They’d both been drunk and they’d missed each other…

It meant nothing. 

Why did that make her feel rather gutted?

The pressure in her bladder increased. Okay, yeah, she could think about Jon and last night later. The call of nature was pretty much demanding her attention right now. As was a shower and about a gallon of water. 

She slithered out from under Jon’s heavy arm. His palm rubbed against her nipple and a shiver went through her. _I am pathetic_ , she thought. 

Sitting up was bad. The room spun and her head began to throb. _Oh my God, someone just fucking kill me right now._

The more she moved, the worse it got. She was going to throw up. No doubt about it. Thankfully, Jon was a heavy sleeper. Sansa sprinted from the room and into the bathroom and threw up in the toilet. In her mind she calculated how many more classes she could skip before they started to count…

After using the bathroom, she slipped into Jon’s room, grabbed her purse, and then slipped out of his suite, his dorm, and headed back to her room. 

When she entered her room, Margaery screeched, “Did you have sex with him?!”

Sansa thought she might puke again. She slapped a hand over her mouth, ran down the hall and did just that. 

When she came back to the room Margaery worldlessly handed her a bottle of water and something for her head. 

Sansa guzzled the water down, gagging a bit, and then grabbed another water and guzzled that down too. She was starting to feel somewhat better, but not by much. She lay down on her bed and groaned. 

“Did you guys polish off that tequila?” Margaery asked and moved Sansa’s desk chair beside Sansa’s bed. She sat down, a Cheshire cat grin on her face. 

“I think so,” Sansa replied with a moan. “It sure feels like we did. Or I did. Single-handedly…”

“Did you have sex?”

“No, Margaery, God! He kissed me.”

Margaery grinned. “Did you kiss him back?”

“Yes. And then I stopped him.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? We were drunk, he just broke up with Ygritte yesterday—”

“Oh, he did, did he? And then he kissed you last night? Well. Isn’t that interesting?”

“I feel like you’re trying to tell me something but I can’t be sure…”

“Even hung over you’re still a comedian.”

Sansa smiled, weakly though. It hurt to move. 

“Did he say anything to go along with that kiss?”

Sansa sighed. She wasn’t going to get any more rest until she told Margaery everything. “I told him we shouldn’t be doing that. He asked why. I said because we were drunk and he just broke up with Ygritte. He said he wanted to kiss me sober. I didn’t believe. Then he managed to convince me to stay…”

“Where did you sleep? Wait! Let me guess – in his bed, right? And I’m sure he took advantage of that…”

“I woke up with his hand on my boob.”

Margaery cheered. Sansa winced. 

“He loooves you, he wants to kiiis you…” Margaery sang. 

“Thank you, Miss Congeniality. Can I sleep now?”

“Not yet. So, how do you feel about this?”

“I feel that Jon and I were both very drunk.”

“In vino veritas.”

“What’s the Latin for tequila makes you do stupid shit you don’t mean?”

“I don’t know, what’s the Latin for you need to be hit over the head with a sledgehammer to get it?”

Sansa just looked at her. “I’m already being hit over the head with a sledgehammer, thank-you-very-much. I don’t recommend it.”

“Sansa, you’re in love with Jon. Accept it already.”

Sansa just looked at her friend. 

“I’m not going to tiptoe around it anymore,” Margaery said. “He’s in love with you, you’re in love with him, and that’s just how it is. How it’s always been. You guys go together like…like…”

“Like rama lamma lamma ka dinga da dinga dong?” 

Margaery burst out laughing. “Yes, the entire cast of _Grease_ , you do. Like dip da dip da dip doowop da doobee doo.”

Despite how badly it hurt to laugh, Sansa did anyway. She rolled onto her back. “Right now I can’t think past my hangover. When I feel better I can think about this more clearly.”

“And don’t forget you have to find out about auditions later.”

Sansa sucked in a breath. “They’ll be posted at two.”

“Then you have about five hours to feel human enough to walk across campus and read the list. Do you want me to go with you?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, I’ll meet you here. Sleep. Dream of Jon. I’m going to class.”

And then she was gone and Sansa could sleep. Except that it took forever because before she could dream of Jon, she first had to stop thinking about him long enough to fall asleep. 

xxxxxx

Jon woke slowly and the events of the night rushed back before he even opened his eyes. _Tequila shots. Holding Sansa on my lap. Talking about sex. Kissing Sansa. Sansa sleeping over…_

Jon’s eyes popped open. She wasn’t there. He sighed. She’d left without waking him. Fuck. He’d scared her off which was exactly what he didn’t want to do…

He rolled over and looked at the clock. And he’d missed his morning class. Which, probably a good thing because it felt like a troll was beating a drum inside his head. He needed the bathroom, water, something for his head, and a shower. 

And then he needed to get to Sansa because he couldn’t let her go on thinking he’d kissed her just because he was drunk and sad over breaking up with Ygritte (he wasn’t). No matter how she might feel, Jon knew he had to get it out there. He had to tell her he loved her and just hope that maybe, maybe, she could one day learn to love him back. 

xxxxx 

Sansa felt as though she was headed to the guillotine when Margaery came to get her so they could see the posted list of those were going to be in the show. She’d slept, drank more water, ate something, showered, and took more pills for head. She felt better. Still tired and a bit out of it, but she didn’t feel like she was seconds away from throwing up again. 

“You’re quiet, little dove,” Margaery said as they walked together to the music department building. 

“I’m afraid to look at that list and find out I didn’t make it,” Sansa replied. 

“Please. You so made it. And if you didn’t we’ll burn that building to the ground.”

Sansa laughed. “Sounds like a plan.”

People were coming in and out of the building and Sansa tried to see if she could tell which ones had just looked at the list and got good news or bad news, or were just leaving classes. 

Sansa and Margaery walked up to the second floor and a group of students were in front of a bulletin board. Some looked happy. Some looked pissed and some looked devastated. 

Sansa gripped Margaery’s hand. 

xxxxxxx

Jon rapped on Sansa and Margaery’s door, his heart in his throat. He might just puke now when he thought of baring his heart and soul to Sansa. He felt as though he could crawl right out of his skin with how nervous he was. 

No one came to the door and Jon knocked again and called out, “Sansa? Margaery?”

Nothing. 

She wasn’t just hanging out inside not answering the door in case it was him was she?

No. That was ridiculous. Sansa wasn’t cruel; she wouldn’t do that. He knew she had a free period now so she could literally be –

Wait. Today was the day they were posting the results of the audition. He remembered her telling Sam about it last night. 

Ignoring the slight throb in his head, Jon ran down the hall. 

xxxxxxx

She’d made it. Oh my God, she’d made it. Sansa could only stand there and stare at her name on the list. She didn’t even hear the sounds of her classmates around her. Margaery squealed and threw her arms around Sansa. “Congratulations!” 

Sansa laughed, relief and joy flooding her. “Oh my God. I made it.”

“I told you, little dove!”

Sansa hugged her friend tight. “Thank you for your support.”

“Always. Come on, let’s go celebrate.”

They walked out the building together, arms linked. They were out of the building and on the path back to their room when Sansa heard her name being shouted. She stopped and turned around and there was Jon, jogging toward her. 

Now her heart was racing for another reason altogether. He was just so…hot. And cute. And hot. And Jon. And perfect. And she kind of wanted to kiss him again sober…no, no, she definitely did and was afraid that maybe he wouldn’t want to. 

He came up to her. “Did you make it?”

She nodded. “I did.”

He beamed at her. “I knew you would.”

“Thank you,” she said with a smile. 

And then he took her face in his hands and kissed her. He groaned. Or she might have. Maybe they both did. It didn’t matter because Jon was there and he was kissing her and they were sober and she thought she might explode. She loved his lips on hers. She loved the feel of him, the taste of him, the way he held her face, the way he leaned his body into hers as though he needed to feel her just as she needed to feel him. 

She loved that he was there in this moment. She loved that he remembered because Jon always remembered everything she said. He was so constant. So trust-worthy, so much…hers. 

“I told you I wanted to kiss you sober,” he said when he broke the kiss. 

Sansa smiled and then this time, she kissed him.


	21. Chapter 21

It was as if Jon and Sansa’s lips were unable to be separated. Sansa wound her arms around his neck and Jon moaned and pulled her against him, running his hand down her back and then rested it on the small of her back. 

“Jon, um, you’ll have to excuse me but Sansa and I were on our way to celebrate and you’re interrupting that.”

Sansa and Jon broke their kiss and looked at Margaery who looked completely serious. Then she started to laugh. “I’m kidding! The looks on your faces is just brilliant. Listen, I am sure you two have a lot of talking to do…if you can stop kissing long enough to do it, so I will see you later, little dove.” She patted Jon on the back and said, “As you were.” 

Sansa felt her cheeks redden and she buried her face in Jon’s shoulder. 

“Goodbye, Margaery, and thank you,” Jon said politely. Then he kissed Sansa’s shoulder, her neck, and then her ear. “She’s gone.”

Sansa looked up at him and placed her hands on either side of his face, the fact that she knew so well but felt and looked so different to her now. Jon leaned in closer until they were in the same breathing space. “What are you thinking?” he asked softly. 

“I’m thinking ‘oh my God I was just kissing Jon’,” she said and took her hands away from his face.

He looked nervous now. “But it’s a good thing, right?”

She nodded.

“Get a room!” someone shouted. 

Jon scowled over Sansa’s shoulder and she laughed out of embarrassment. Jon moved so that he was beside her. He wrapped an arm around her waist and said, “Why don’t we go back to my room so we can talk?”

She nodded again. “Okay.”

xxxxxx

Sansa didn’t know what to think. One minute she wasn’t kissing Jon and then the next minute she was. It felt rather surreal. Her whole relationship with him had changed so drastically in the course of a few minutes. Or was it since last night? That, plus making the cut for the show – she rather felt as though she was outside of herself. 

“Are you okay?” Jon asked her once they were in the elevator alone together. 

He looked so nervous now, as though he was afraid she…she what? Would stop kissing him? Would tell him this was all a mistake? Sansa wasn’t sure. But he had serious Jon face again and she wanted him to go back to smiling so she leaned over and kissed his cheek. 

He turned his face to hers, his gaze heated. “Can I kiss you again?”

She nodded and then he was devouring her, pushing her back against the wall of the elevator. The bell chimed, the doors opened, and Jon pulled back, looking as dazed as she felt. 

He led her to his room, taking her hand in his and smiling down at their entwined hands. He was so adorable. What did all this mean? He looked like he was working up to something important. What was he going to tell her – just that he liked her as more than a friend? That was obvious now wasn’t it? Did she like him as more than a friend? 

_Well, duh_ , she thought to herself. She definitely liked kissing him that was for sure. She loved Jon – as in, she loved him as a person, loved him because he was her best friend and he was her constant, her rock, her everything. 

Was she in love with him? On that, she wasn’t quite sure…mainly because she’d never been in love before so she didn’t know what it felt like. People always said that she would just know. So in not knowing did that mean she wasn’t?

“You’ve got that crease between your brows that you get when you’re in deep thought,” he said as he unlocked his dorm room door. “What are you thinking?”

“So many things.”

“Like?” he asked and faced her. 

“Um, why don’t you go first? You look like you have something to say.”

He pushed the door open to his room and stood aside to let her in. 

His room no longer smelled of alcohol and, she noticed, he’d picked it all up from the night before. Good thing, too. If she even smelled tequila she might retch again. 

She sat down on his bed and looked up at him expectantly. 

He stood there, hands at his sides, looking awkward and uncomfortable. And adorable. And she really liked the appearance of the white t-shirt he was wearing. 

“I like the shirt,” she told him. 

“I love you,” he said. 

She blinked. “Do you say that to everybody who likes your shirt?”

He shook his head and raked a hand through his hair. “No, Sansa, I mean… I’m in love with you.”

She hadn’t been expecting that. She’d thought more along the lines of ‘hey, I’m kinda into you so you wanna go out on a date?’ She hadn’t been prepared for an actual ‘I’m in love with you.’

Now he looked worried. “You look shocked.”

“I am,” she admitted. “I didn’t expect that.”

“Do you – I mean – is it something that maybe you like hearing or do you hate it? Do you want me to take it back?”

Now she was confused. “Is that something you can just take back?”

“Well, no…”

“Then why did you offer to take it back?”

“Because I don’t want you uncomfortable around me now. I don’t want you to…go away.”

“You’d think I’d go away?”

“I don’t really know, Sansa, because you’re not giving me anything to work with here.” Now he sounded frustrated. 

She stood and held up her hands in an ‘okay, relax’ gesture. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I just need a few to catch up. We went from bff’s to kissing in a manner of seconds.”

“We’re still best friends. And we kissed last night.”

“That doesn’t count. We were drunk.”

“It counted to me.”

“Well…” she sighed. “You were obviously sitting on…” she gestured to him. “Feelings. Feelings that I didn’t know about last night. I just literally became abreast of them.” She held up a finger. “And, while we’re speaking of breasts, you had your hand on my boob this morning, Mr. I-Won’t-Feel-You-Up-While-You’re-Sleeping.”

He rolled his eyes. “Sansa, I was sleeping. I wasn’t aware—”

“Jon, unclench. I’m teasing you.”

He looked downright frustrated. “I’m finding it hard to unclench when I have no idea what you’re thinking or feeling right now! I just put myself out there and told you how I felt and you’re stalling and making jokes!”

“I’m sorry,” she said and stepped toward him. She took his hand in both of hers. “I’m sorry. No one’s ever told me they’re in love with me. I’m just trying to process that.”

“Could you process it a little faster?”

“I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry. Tell me what you want me to say.”

“Ideally I’d like to hear that you love me too, but I don’t think you do. At least not yet anyway.”

She felt terrible now. “I’ve never been in love, Jon. I don’t know what it feels like.”

He gripped her hand hard. “It’s the most terrifying, awful, wonderful, and joyous feeling in the world.”

“Well…I got terrified.”

“Tell me why.”

“No, first I want to know what you want to…do. I mean – you want to date, right?”

He nodded. “Yes. I want to date you.”

“Well, it would get really awkward if you dated someone else while you’re in love with me…”

He grinned, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I want to be with you, Sansa. I don’t want to be with anyone else, and I don’t you to be with anyone else. Does that sound like something that you might be interested in?”

“Yeah, and that is what’s terrifying.”

“Why?”

“Because what if it doesn’t work out and I lose you?” She was the one that was worried now. “I can’t lose you, Jon.”

He pulled her into his arms then and held her. She placed her chin on his shoulder. “Sshhh, Sansa, no. You won’t, sweetheart. You won’t ever lose me.”

“You say that now, but one day I could really piss you off or do something unintentional to hurt you and you could decide you’re done with me.”

“No,” he murmured. 

“You can’t promise something like that. No one can.”

“You’re right, no one can promise that. But that doesn’t mean we don’t take a chance because something might happen. I could walk out of here and I might get hit by a bus. That doesn’t mean I don’t leave my dorm,” right?”

“The chances of a bus being directly outside your dorm—”

“Sansa.”

“Sorry. I’m terrible at this.”

He pulled back and looked at her, putting one hand on the side of her face. “Sansa, are you attracted to me?”

She reddened and smiled coyly. “Are you fishing for compliments again?”

He grinned. “I told you a girl likes to hear nice things.” And then he kissed her and kissed her until she was clinging to him and moaning. 

“So,” he breathed, when he broke the kiss. “Are you?”

“Yes,” she whispered. “I like kissing you. And looking at you. And being with you…”

He made a sound that almost sounded like a whimper. “I like all those things with you, too. I want our friendship and I want the right to kiss you…touch you. Is that something you might like to try, Sansa?”

She broke into a slow smile. “Yes. When do we start?”

He smiled. “Right now.” Her stomach growled and Jon laughed. “Well, I guess this is a good time to go on our first date. Shall I take you out and feed you?”

She made a face. “To the cafeteria? That doesn’t really sound all first date-y.” He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off. “On second thought, though, maybe that’s not a bad thing. I get all nervous on dates. I don’t want to be nervous around you.”

“Why would you all of a sudden be nervous around me?”

She ducked her head placed her forehead on his shoulder. “Because I see you differently now. You’re not just Jon anymore. You’re something else now.”

He lifted her face to his with the tip of his finger. “I know what you mean. You’re the same except different, but you’re still my Sansa and I’m still your Jon.”

With her head on his shoulder, she reached up and ran her hand along the side of his face like a caress. She liked touching him. He grabbed her hand and kissed her palm and then placed her hand over his heart. “I want to take you out, and not to the cafeteria,” he said huskily. “I want to be alone with you for a while, and away from this campus. Does that sound like something you might like?”

“Ooh, maybe we could go to the grocery store and get some food for a picnic?” she asked excitedly. “We could go down to the beach.”

He smiled. “I’d like that.”


	22. Chapter 22

Jon kept looking at Sansa and not just because he really liked looking at Sansa, but because he was trying to gauge how she was doing with all he’d confessed. Part of him wondered if he should have waited to tell her how he felt until she was more comfortable with the idea of him as something more. Of _them_ as something more. 

The other part of him felt that this was Sansa. Of _course_ he was going to tell her. They were always honest with each other – the Dr. Lannister debacle notwithstanding. Jon just wasn’t all that great at subterfuge, and when he realized how he’d truly felt about her, all he’d wanted to do was tell her so they could begin their new relationship together. There may have been some projection going on. For how could he be the only one with all these feelings seeing as how close they were? In his mind her feelings had just needed to be uncovered the same as his had been. 

They were not completely on the same page, but Jon knew that eventually they would be. It was _them_ ; it was them _together_. How could they not end up together?

He followed her down the aisle at the grocery store as she chattered on about what they should get and he found he was just amused watching her put more food in the basket than they needed for one picnic. 

“Jon?” she said as she pulled out some plastic container in produce. “How do you feel about olives?”

“Black or green?” he asked. 

“Black.”

“No. But not green either.”

She just looked at him as she put the container away as if to say ‘I am 100% done with your shit’ and he laughed. He wanted to tell her – See? Nothing has changed. We’re still us. 

“Sansa, I don’t know that we need this much food,” he told her as they looped over to the next aisle and she began to inspect crackers. 

She came over to him and peered inside the basket he had offered to carry. It was getting rather heavy. “Yeah, you’re right. We probably don’t need all that cheese. I’m just so hungry I think my stomach is eating itself. I _might_ have to gnaw on your arm.”

“Did you eat anything at all today?” he asked her. 

“Very little. My stomach was mistrustful of what I was putting in my body after all that tequila last night.”

Jon reached out and caressed the side of her face. “Do you think it will be okay now?”

She smiled. “Yes.” And then she pulled out some cheese and then the bag of grapes. 

“No, keep the grapes,” Jon said. 

“Okay,” she said with a smile and hurried off to put the cheese back. 

He had plans for those grapes. 

xxxxxxxxx

Half an hour later, Sansa and Jon were on the beach on the blanket he kept in his car for occasions such as this. With Sansa, there were plenty of them. They’d sat facing one another, their legs crossed and their knees touching as they ate their dinner of sandwiches, potato chips, and pasta salad. They had bought six pack of water and had downed two in quick succession. Then Jon brought out the grapes and proceeded to feed them to her.

Sansa was sure she was blushing to the roots of her hair. No one had ever fed her grapes before, and no one had ever doted on her quite the way Jon currently was. He wore a soft smile of pure contentment as though he could just do this all day and all night. 

It was odd for her in a way to see the dating side of Jon. Here she thought she knew everything there was to know about him, but there was this whole other side that she didn’t know, but others before her did. 

“Where did you go?” he asked softly, and tugged on her ponytail gently. 

She smiled at him and shook her head. “Nowhere. I’m right here.”

“Liar,” he murmured. “Come closer…”

She scooted closer to him and then leaned over for a kiss. That wasn’t enough for Jon. He urged her closer until she was on his lap. When she looked up at Jon under her lashes, he wrapped his arms around her waist and crushed their mouths together. He kissed her with such passion that Sansa felt her core tingle. She shifted against him, wanting to ease that ache, and let him lead. He was teaching her so much already. 

When Jon kissed her outside the music department it had been a tentative kiss, as if he was asking ‘is this okay?’ In the elevator, it had been quick, hard, and full of need. Now there was need as well as hunger. 

Also, tongue. 

For all that he could be so quiet and subdued, Jon kissed her as though he couldn’t get enough and Sansa felt a bit overwhelmed by it. Her kisses with Jaime had always felt rather controlled. Practiced. There was nothing controlled with this kiss. It was unrestrained. Wild. 

When Jon broke the kiss, he pressed his forehead to hers. “Sorry,” he said gruffly. 

“Don’t be,” she whispered, surprised to find her own voice a little gruff as well. “You’re, um, you’re a good kisser. Not that I have much to compare your kisses to.” Her thoughts were scrambled and she was trying to grasp onto the threads of them. 

“Are you okay?” he asked.

She laughed self-deprecatingly. “I’m having a hard time forming a coherent thought right now.”

Now he looked smug. Sansa rolled her eyes and he laughed. She shifted on his lap and felt it. He was hard. She looked at him in surprise and he looked back at her a bit sheepishly. “I want you,” he said simply. 

“When did you know?” she asked. She couldn’t look at him while she asked that, feeling rather shy about the whole thing. 

“When did I know how I felt about you?” he asked. 

She nodded.

He laughed softly. “The day I got punched by Drogo.”

She looked at him in surprise. “That was two days ago, Jon.”

“That’s when I had the realization of how I felt. It was actually something Dr. Lannister said that got me thinking.”

“What did he say?”

“After I punched him I said something about how I never liked him and he said, basically, that of course I didn’t seeing as how I was in love with you.”

Sansa’s eyes widened. “He actually said that?”

“Yes. And it gave me pause. I already knew things were changing.”

“Oh?”

He swept some hair over her shoulder and kissed the corner of her mouth. “Yes,” he murmured. “That day we all went out? I couldn’t take my eyes off you.” He grinned. “Including your ass.”

She laughed and swatted him playfully. “Jon!”

He shrugged. “I wanted so many times to just touch you. A few times I wanted to kiss you. I was jealous of ‘Drogo’. I hated the idea of him touching you.”

“And then you found out who ‘Drogo’ actually was…”

“Yeah, that didn’t help. That night after I punched Dr. Lannister Sam made a comment about how I felt the need to go to Dr. Lannister’s house and punch him. He thought that was telling of my feelings for you.” He kissed her neck. “And when I thought about our relationship, how much a part of me you were…how I felt you down in my very bones…well, it all clicked into place. So, my realization came two days ago, but I think I’ve had those feelings for a long time. You became essential to me, Sansa. We fit so well together that I feel like there is no me without you.”

She nodded. “Yes, I feel the same way. There is no me without you.”

“I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear you say that,” he said and then kissed her. He trailed kisses along her jaw and then down her neck where he sucked softly. Sansa tilted her head to the side to give him better access and she shivered in his arms. 

“You like that?” he murmured against her skin. 

“Yes,” she breathed. 

He trailed kisses further down to her collar bone and over to the other side. Sansa tilted her head to the other side and her arms tightened around him when he sucked on her neck there. His arms were like bands around her and Sansa squirmed in his lap.

“God, you’re driving me crazy,” Jon rasped against her neck. He moaned. “Sweetheart, stop squirming. A man can only take so much.”

Sansa forced her hips to still. “Sorry, I just got caught up in the moment.”

“Don’t apologize for that,” he said and brought his face up to hers. He then lowered her down onto the blanket on her back and he lay half on her and half on his side. Sansa tunneled her fingers through his hair and then brought his face down to hers for another kiss. His lips took the same path as before and Sansa finds her hips moving again, seeking…more. 

This wasn't like with Jaime, whom she had never been able to really relax with. This was different from anything she’d ever known, and in some ways it made sense that it was with Jon and in other ways it surprised her that it was with him. There wasn't a sense of wrongness, just the sense that this was different. But all of this, with him, _was_ different. 

His kisses grew more heated. Passionate. She could practically feel him vibrating with hunger and need and she felt her body respond in kind. 

And then he abruptly stopped and rolled away onto his back. Sansa looked over him, she was breathing as hard as he was. Her gaze ran down his form…yep, he was still hard. She wanted to roll into his side and put her arm around him, but she wasn’t sure if she should, or could. 

“What can I do?” she asked. 

He turned his head and looked at her. “What?”

“You look…distressed. What can I do?”

“I’m not distressed, Sansa,” he said with a little laugh. “I’m turned on. I was ready to pop off in my jeans just from kissing you.”

 _Fuck it_. She rolled onto her side and slid over to him. He immediately moved his arm under her head so she could press herself against his side. She put her hand over his heart. 

“Can you feel it racing?” he asked. 

She smiled. “Mine is too.”

He held her against his side and for a while neither of them spoke. It was the comfortable ease they had with each other that if they wanted to be quiet together, they did so without one of them feeling the need to fill up the space with mindless chatter. 

“Shall we go back?” Jon asked after a long while, his hand on hers over his heart. 

“I suppose,” she said with a sigh. 

They packed up the food and folded up the blanket and headed back to campus, Jon’s hand in hers over the consul in his car. Sansa is amazed by how he can’t seem to get enough of touching her. She didn’t mind though; she liked touching Jon, too. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Jon asked in front of her dorm. He held her hands in his at their sides and they were standing so close Sansa could feel his body heat. 

“Of course,” she said and tipped her head up for a kiss. 

He looked like he wanted to say something more. Like maybe ‘I love you’? But he didn’t. Sansa wondered if he didn’t because he didn’t want to frighten her away. Part of her wasn’t convinced that he did – but only because it was all still so new and she still hadn’t wrapped her mind around it. But part of her wanted to hear it because it felt as though he mended part of her when he said it. 

She watched him head back to his dorm with a smile on her face. Her gaze dropped to his ass. That perfect ass was hers now. Sansa smiled dreamily and headed up to her room. Margaery was out. Sansa grabbed her laptop and plopped on her bed with it on her lap. 

She opened her email and her smile dropped. 

Jaime had replied. In the midst of everything with Jon, she’d forgotten she’d even written him in the first place. 

To: Songstress1211@gmail.com  
From: TheKnight@yahoo.com

Re:Re: Hello

_Sansa,  
How do you do it, darling? How do you manage to cut me without saying a word? You are absolutely right that my life is not how I imagined it would be, but I suppose that’s because my choices in life have been terrible. I am selfish and self-serving. I’ve been told I have a problem…I think they may be right. _

_I can tell you that I definitely meant it when I said you were talented, Sansa. You are. Despite what I am as a man, I do think I was a pretty good professor. I knew talent when I saw it, and you have it in spades, my dear. I know you made it in the show, and I didn’t even have to do anything to get on there. That was all you._

_I hope you will consider declaring a major to music now. If you do decide to, please let me know so that I can at least take comfort in the fact that I did something right by you. Plus, I’d like to be able to tell you what classes to take and who to avoid._

_Yours,  
Jaime _

Sansa stared at the “Yours” bit, thinking how odd it was for him to used that as his closer. She hit the reply on her email and stared at it, wondering if this was a good idea to email him back. But then, what harm was there in finding out from him what classes she should take and which professors to avoid? 

It wasn’t a big deal; this was research. 

And so she began her response, asking what his advice was per her curriculum and then she started to type: _What is going to happen to you now?_ But then thought – no. That opened it up for him to respond to that. She deleted it. 

But then she put it back.


	23. Chapter 23

Sansa arrived in English class the following morning full of trepidation. Tyrion had to know about her and Jaime. Unless somehow she was kept out of it completely. However, for some reason Sansa highly doubted that. She forced herself to sit in the front row even though she wanted to sit in the back and hide. 

She took out her notebook, her English book, and pen and busied herself with doodling on the blank page before her while she and her classmates waited for Tyrion to arrive. 

“I heard Dr. Lannister had to get Jaime out of school quick because he was banging, like, a dozen girls.”

Sansa paused in her doodling at overhearing that somewhere behind her and she strained to hear what else was being said. 

“I heard he has to go to a support group for sex addicts,” another student said. 

“My roommate’s friend heard he had orgies at his house with all of them.”

“I heard he wanted to marry one of them.”

Sansa felt some of her unease abate. If these were the rumors being circulated about then she might have nothing to worry about. They seemed more centered around Jaime and his proclivities rather than Tysha or any of the other girls’ identities. And just how many others had there been?

“I heard—”

But whatever was about to be said was cut off by Tyrion entering the room. Sansa sat up straighter. It wasn’t as though Tyrion would call her out in front of the entire class if he knew about her. She just wanted him to find some way to let her know he knew so she could not wonder if he did. If she knew he knew then she could just deal with it from there. 

He gave nothing away though. He looked at her the same, and interacted with her the same as he did any class. Sansa thought perhaps she was out of the woods until it was time for him to dismiss the class. 

“Sansa, would you please see me after class about your last assignment, please?” he asked. 

He knew. Sansa was sure of it now. When the last student had filed out the room, Tyrion went to the door and shut it. He then went to his briefcase while Sansa tried to find a way to something – anything – to defend herself. 

Tyrion pulled a white cardigan out of his briefcase and silently walked over to her and placed it down on her desk. “I believe this belongs to you,” he said. 

It did. She’d left it at Jaime’s and had just realized it upon seeing it. Yup, Tyrion knew. She looked at him, speechless. She opened her mouth and managed to get out, “I…”

“Did he hurt you, Sansa?” Tyrion asked quietly. 

“No.”

“Is that the truth? I would like to be sure. As much as I love my brother and wish to help him, I also believe that he cannot be helped unless he is aware of the consequences of his actions.”

“I didn’t sleep with him,” Sansa blurted out. Oh, God, could this be any more embarrassing? 

“That is a comfort, but he didn’t do anything like blackmail you or assault you, did he?”

“No. I was… willing.” She bent over and buried her face in her hands. “Oh, God, I’m so embarrassed. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Tyrion.”

“Why are you apologizing? Aside from the fact that it was foolish and unwise to involve yourself with a professor knowing how the school frowns down on it, you’ve nothing to apologize for. It’s not as if your refusal would have stopped him from seeking out others.”

Sansa dropped her hands from her face and sat up. She looked at him, pained. “How many others were there?”

“Two.”

“The rumors say a dozen.”

“Oh, I’m sure if anyone was keeping a tally there have at least two dozen over the past few years,” Tyrion drawled. 

“Do you hate me?” she asked. 

Tyrion shook his head. “No, Sansa, I do not hate you. I am…displeased because of my brother’s actions and that you were one he had managed to…”

“Seduce?”

Tyrion made a face. “Yes. May I ask why? I seem to recall you discussing with me a boy you were unsure if you had feelings for…?”

“Jon. My best friend. And I do…and he does as well. We kind of started dating yesterday…”

“Mosel tov.”

Sansa barked out a laugh, uncomfortable as it was.

“Much healthier to be with someone closer to your age. Plus, not a professor,” Tyrion said. 

“Your brother is very charming,” Sansa said slowly. 

Tyrion smiled. “I’m aware.”

“And he believed in me and…honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking. I went a little crazy when Jon started dating someone and Jaime just kind of…”

“Slipped in?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“Well, he’s not one to waste an advantage. Most Lannisters don’t.”

“I got caught up in the idea of this hot older guy that thought I was something special wanting to be with me. I think I romanticized it and made it more than it actually was to be honest. Not one of my shining moments, to be sure.”

“Sansa, I do hope you know that it was not only dangerous for him but for you as well. One of the other girls? She isn’t even sure if she’s going to stay here. As soon as the student body discovered what had happened, she started getting harassed. It’s a difficult lesson to learn in this world that while a man may be forgiven for his unsavory actions, the woman gets it much worse. Do I think that’s right? No. It’s a double standard to be sure, and as I said— I love my brother, but I would prefer he bear the brunt of his actions than you or that other girl. I’m aware of how charming my brother can be. The problem is that he uses his powers for evil rather than good. You were both victims of his behavior.”

Sansa nodded. “I’m still sorry. What I did…I wasn’t thinking.”

“Let it be a lesson to you. One that you learn and move on from. I’ll not let anyone know about you.”

“Thank you.”

“Now I think you should probably see to the young man that’s been pacing outside this door for the past ten minutes,” Tyrion said with a smirk and went to the door to open it. 

Jon was on the other side. He looked at Sansa worriedly and darted a glance at Tyrion. 

Sansa found herself smiling. How could she not? Jon was there. 

“If that smile is anything to go by, Sansa, I think you’ve made the right choice,” Tyrion said. 

“I think so, too,” Sansa replied and gathered her things quickly. “Thank you, Tyrion,” she said to him on her way out. 

“You are quite welcome,” he said in return. 

Once out in the hall, Sansa hugged Jon tightly. 

“Everything okay?” he asked softly. 

“It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life, and I’m feeling good,” she sang. 

He laughed. “I like that.”

“Come on, I’ll tell you what happened on the way to the cafeteria.”

xxxxxxxxx

They didn’t make it to the cafeteria. They ended up on the quad, sitting together on the grass. Jon sat back against a tree, his legs spread in front of him and Sansa sat in between them. His arms were wrapped around her middle and she trailed her fingers up and down his forearm as she told him about her discussion with Tyrion. 

“Do you mean that?” Jon asked when she was done. 

“Mean what?” she asked and turned in his arms so that she rested against his chest on her side. 

“That you went a little crazy when I started dating Ygritte,” he said and began running his hand through her long locks. 

Sansa nodded. “Yes. Couldn’t you tell?”

“I knew you weren’t acting right, but I didn’t know why exactly. You told me it was because you were afraid to lose me.”

“And I was.”

“Yeah, but how much of that fear was due to the fact you had feelings for me that went beyond friendship?”

“I think…”

“Yeah?”

“All of them.”

He broke into a smile and bent his head toward hers. “Really?”

“Yes,” she whispered and lifted her head for a kiss. 

Jon had meant for it to be a chaste kiss since they were in public, but the instant his lips touched hers he forgot all about that. He touched his tongue to hers and kissed her ardently. “I missed you,” he whispered breathlessly and pressed his forehead to hers. 

“When?” she asked softly. 

“Last night as soon as I left you, I missed you,” he confessed. “Is that too much?”

“No,” she said and played with the ends of his hair. 

“Maybe we could do something tonight?” he asked.

“Like make out in your room?” she asked and then laughed. 

His face heated, but he wasn’t going to lie. That’s what he wanted – his hands and lips on Sansa. It was all he’d thought about the night before. Just the little taste of it on the beach and he wanted more. It had kept him up most of the night, thinking about having Sansa in his bed.

Yet Jon knew Sansa wasn’t sexually experienced and he wanted to be the one she explored it all with. First and foremost he wanted her to feel comfortable though. He would not push; he would never push. 

“Maybe a movie,” he said. “…and then we could make out.”

She smiled. “I’d like that.”

xxxxxxxx

“Little Dove, I’ve never seen you prepare so much to go out with Jon,” Margaery said later that evening after Sansa had finally dressed after going through half a dozen outfits. Finally, she had settled on a pair of black leggings, a maroon a-symmetrical top and a long checkered scarf that went down to her waist, and a pair of black boots with no heel. 

Then she’d pulled her hair up, then down, then up again. She’d washed her face twice and reapplied her makeup. Now she was finishing up and felt a tad on the hot and sweaty side with all the work she’d been doing. 

“I need another fucking shower,” Sansa groused as she sat down on her bed. “Christ. What is the matter with me?”

“You’re in love,” Margaery said and turned around in her desk chair to face Sansa. “You want to look your best for him. It’s normal, don’t overthink it.”

“But it makes no sense that I should go from being fine looking like a grub when I go out with him to not only changing half a dozen times and washing my face twice to reapply, but I also spent ten extra minutes in the shower shaving and trimming and clipping everything on my body.”

“Did you spray on any perfume?”

Sansa threw up her hands. “Fuck! No, I forgot.”

Margaery giggled. “Just do it now, ya big freak.”

Sansa got up and went to her dresser and began to systematically apply perfume to the spots Cosmo had told her to apply perfume to. “Can I ask you a sex question?” she asked her friend. 

“Of course!”

“What sorts of things could I do to…drive Jon wild? Like how could I touch him...?”

Margaery snickered and Sansa looked over in time to see her friend pick up a vintage Raggedy Andy doll off her bed. Margaery held up the doll. “Do you want me to show you on the doll, Sansa?”

“You suck,” Sansa said and laughed. 

Then the knock came. “Hold on!” Margaery called out and then jumped up and took Sansa by the shoulders. “South of the border is an obvious choice,” she said, “but if you rub the nape of his neck with your fingertips it will get him hard as a rock in seconds. Also, if you scratch just ever so lightly over his chest, especially in the nipple region, that will make him catch his breath. And I bet if you touched Jon’s ass he would be putty in your hands.”

“Neck, chest, nipples, butt,” Sansa recited. “Got it.”

“Don’t put any pressure on yourself, okay? Jon is so into you I don’t think he can see straight. Just remember that this is Jon and you guys have fun together.”

“Sansa?” Speak of the devil. 

Margaery went to the door and opened it with a smirk. “Good evening, Jon Snow. Wow! You clean up nice, huh?”

“Uh, thanks,” Jon muttered. 

Sansa grabbed her purse and came to the door. “I like that shirt!” she exclaimed. “Look at how cute you are!” It was a white and blue button down striped shirt tucked into a pair of jeans. 

“And look how beautiful you are,” he said. 

Sansa smiled and stepped out of the room. “Thank you.”

“I trust you’ll have her back home at a reasonable hour?” Margaery teased. 

Jon smirked. “I can’t promise that.”

“Wow! Jon’s gettin’ a lil’ saucy!”

Sansa just shook her head and laughed. She pulled on his hand. “Come on.”

Jon allowed her to pull him down the hall and once they got into a blessedly empty elevator, he pushed her against the wall and kissed her until her knees completely left her. Then he was the one pulling her with him out of the elevator as she tried to make her brain work.


	24. Chapter 24

Sansa supposed that it was an outdated notion that people made out during movies, but she couldn’t help but want it to happen. She was summarily disappointed when it didn’t. Jon did hold her hand though. And every once in a while he would lean over and kiss her temple. 

Her stomach was full of butterflies. It was odd that she should feel these nerves with Jon. She kept telling herself – it’s Jon. It’s fucking Jon. And just when she thought she’d gotten herself under control, she would see him in her mind’s eye and not see just Jon anymore, but this hot God she was so enamored with. How had she missed all this hotness for so long? 

As they made their way out of the theater, hand-in-hand, they chit-chatted about the movie as they always did. Unlike in previous excursions to the movie and she’d just get in when they got to his car, Jon pushed her against the passenger side door and kissed her. He kissed her until she lost her breath. He pressed his forehead to hers. “I’ve been wanting to do that since we left the school.”

Sansa bit her lip and boldly (though her hand shook a little), put her hand at the nape of his neck and gently caressed him there. He took a shuddering breath and leaned even further into her. “Sansa,” he breathed. 

“Do you like that?” she asked softly. 

He rolled his hips against hers and her eyes went wide. He was hard. “What do you think?” he asked. 

She smiled. “Jon?”

“Hmmm?” 

“I want to…please you.”

“You always please me, Sansa.”

She snorted. “Now I know that’s not true.”

He laughed softly.

“I want you to teach me how to touch you…” she said. “I don’t know how…”

“We can take our time,” he said and cupped the side of her face. “There’s no reason to rush. You’re new at this and—” She sighed. He drew his head back. “What? What’d I say?”

“The ‘you’re new at this’ bit—”

“Just for the record, I do not sound like that.”

“When you’ve annoyed me, you do.”

“Okay, what about that statement upset you so much?”

“It just made me feel like I’m some stupid, inexperienced kid,” she whined. “Like you have to treat me with kid gloves or something because the virgin might cower in fear otherwise.”

“Sansa, that’s not how I meant it. It’s just that taking any kind of relationship to the next level is a big deal. We _just_ started dating.”

She frowned. “Are you saying that you don’t want to touch me then?”

“God, no. I want to touch you; but I don’t want it to be some big race to the finish line. You’re my girl and I want to do everything right with you.”

She took comfort in that. Okay, a lot of comfort. She liked being his girl so far. No one would take better care of a girl than Jon, but when she thought about his past relationship with Val she imagined that they were all over each other from the get go. She was intrigued by a Jon that wanted and loved a girl so much he would have sex with her in the _library._

She wanted to drive him batshit crazy like that, but with the promise that she’d stick around. Sansa didn’t plan to go anywhere. 

Her mind drifted to Jaime and how he had those other girls besides her. She wondered then if he had them because she wasn’t putting out. She had been the inexperienced virgin cowering in fear with him. Or, maybe, she was just waiting for Jon and hadn’t realized it yet. Maybe that was part of the reason she was so eager to start exploring. 

“What are you thinking?” Jon asked as he rubbed her arms. 

“I’m thinking we should go back to your room now.”

He smiled. “Sounds good.”

xxxxxxxxx

Sansa and Jon sat together on his bed side-by-side and kissed. And kissed. And kissed some more. Sansa thought back to what Margaery had told her about how to turn Jon on. Could she do all of them in some kind of pattern? It was the neck, chest – specifically nippular area – his ass. Okay, she couldn’t do the ass thing while he was currently on it, but maybe she could do the other two. Neck first or chest first though? 

Margaery needed to draw her a diagram. 

“Where are you?” Jon asked as he broke their kiss. 

She reddened. She liked that he was so in tune with her that he knew when her mind had drifted. She looked at him under lashes and went for coy. “I was just thinking that I asked Margaery before you arrived tonight how to touch you to turn you on.”

He looked intrigued. “Oh?”

“Yeah, and so in my head I was remembering what she told me and trying to figure out where to start.”

“Anywhere, Sansa,” he said, his voice a bit hoarse. “You can start anywhere.”

“Well, she told me about the neck thing,” she murmured and glided the tips of her fingers along the back of his neck. He shuddered and kissed her hard. “What else?” he whispered. 

Lightly, she used scratched over his right nipple. He winced. Sansa deflated. “Too hard?” she asked.

“A little.”

She sighed and pulled away from him. “Sorry.”

“Come back here,” he murmured and cupped the side of her face. He drew her in and kissed her slowly. “Was there anything else?” he asked softly against her lips. 

“She told me to touch your ass, but you’re kind of sitting on it, so…”

“Sansa, do you want to touch my ass?”

She smiled. “I kind of do.”

“Why don’t we lay down then?”

He pushed her back onto the bed and crawled half on top of her. “I like this part,” she said quietly. 

“Which part?” he asked as he ran his fingers through her hair that was splayed out onto his pillow. 

“I like feeling your body against mine,” she said. “I like the solidity of it. The comfort…I like how hard your body is against my softness.”

He groaned and kissed her hungrily. “Oh, I’m hard all right,” he muttered and she giggled. Then, as they continued to kiss, Sansa let her hand wander down his side and then, finally over his ass. 

He bucked into her and gasped. “Christ.”

“Did I do something wrong again?” she asked and froze. 

“No, sweetling, no. That was – I liked it. A lot.”

She smiled victoriously. Jon laughed. And then he nuzzled the side of her face. “Just for the record – nothing we do here is wrong.”

“Oh, I could think of a few things that would be wrong,” she said. 

He laughed. “Okay, some things yes, but I don’t want you to be afraid to experiment with me.” He grinned at her mischievously. “My body is yours to do with what you will.”

“Your body is a wonderland,” Sansa sang softly. 

“Okay, I just found the first wrong thing,” he said. “Your singing is welcome anytime, but not John Mayer.”

She laughed. “Noted.”

He kissed her again and then pulled back until just their foreheads were touching. “Maybe you could tell me how you’d like to be touched?” he asked. 

“Surprise me,” she whispered. 

She almost laughed with how he didn’t waste any time slipping his hand under shirt. He lay his palm flat on her belly and Sansa felt a tremble go through her. “I love your hands,” she whispered. 

“Yeah?” he murmured and began to slide his hand up her the center of her body. He stopped when his hand covered her bra-covered breast. “What else do you love?”

She rubbed against him. “More, Jon.”

“Is the clasp on the front or back?” he breathed. 

“Front,” she replied breathlessly. 

He undid it deftly and Sansa put it out of her mind that he had practice doing that. All thought left her head anyway when the pad of his thumb passed over her nipple. Once. Twice. Three times. It hardened and Sansa gripped the back of his hair and pulled him down to kiss him. She arched up and his hand cupped her breast as she flicked his thumb back and forth. Tongues met, teeth clashed. He groaned. She groaned. She was vaguely aware of her hips moving restlessly against him. He gripped her breast roughly. Then he tore his mouth away and buried his face in her neck, breathing hard. His hand slackened around her breast and drifted down her side. Sansa was breathing heavy too and she was now aware that her leg was up over his hip. She’d been dry-humping him. 

“So I think that’s a good start,” he said against her skin. He was hard against her thigh. 

She laughed. “Yeah, I think so.” Though she wondered why they didn’t do more. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him how long it took for him and Val to sleep together, but then she decided that perhaps it was best she not know that. Not yet anyway. 

“I better get you back,” he said, but he didn’t move. 

Sansa smiled at the ceiling. “I suppose you’d better.” 

But neither of them moved for a long time. 

xxxxxxxxx

Before bed that night, and after telling Margaery all about it, Sansa crawled into bed and pulled her laptop on her lap to check her e-mail. She paused when she saw an email back from Jaime. But, he had promised to give her information about what classes to take so there was nothing to feel guilty about. This is what she told herself anyway.

She read over the bit about what classes to take and which professors to avoid and which groups to join a few times before deciding she’d be better off saving the email for future use. The next part of his email had to do with what was to happen to him now:

_I don’t have an answer for what will happen now. I am to join therapy and group counseling for sex addiction. I promised my brother I would seek help, but I’m not entirely sold that that’s my problem. I think, dear Sansa, that I just became disillusioned with life. My ex-wife wrung me dry. She took every part of happiness from me and I felt lose, old, and alone._

_I won’t lie and I won’t sugarcoat it – I like sex. I like it a lot, but I think between the things of all those young girls, and especially with you, I was looking for a fountain of youth. I was looking for someone to restore the hope I used to have and had lost._

_I know what I did was wrong, but I swear I wasn’t just being a pervert. I was chasing the promise that tomorrow I would wake up that idealistic young man I used to be before my ex-wife sucked it out of me. Maybe I’ll find it in other ways now. What do you think – should I take up jogging? I hear runner’s highs are pretty awesome._

_Tell me, darling, has Jon declared himself yet?_

_Yours,_

_Jaime_

Sansa’s brow furrowed. What did he mean by “and especially with you”? He hadn’t even really gotten _between_ her thighs.

She let the mouse hover over the reply button and she contemplated continuing this correspondence. If Jon knew…yikes. But there was nothing going on here. Her eyes were wide open as far as Jaime Lannister was concerned. It wasn’t as though he had any shot in getting in her pants now – and she was pretty sure that he didn’t want to be doing that anymore anyway. 

She clicked Reply. 

_What do you mean by ‘and especially with you’? Are you trying to say that I’m not the same as the others because I’m pretty sure the only thing that made me different was that you never actually got ‘in’ my pants?_

_And yes, Jon has declared himself. I suppose in some twisted way I have you to thank for that._

She didn’t bother to sign in. She sent it off and put her laptop away. She wasn’t doing anything wrong. It wasn’t as though they were flirting. Perhaps she would tell Jon about it…

Then she thought of how angry Jon got when Jaime was just mentioned and decided maybe not. And no matter what Jaime wrote back in the next e-mail she would not reply back. 

Pleased by that she shut her eyes and relived her night with Jon until she fell asleep. It took a while.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the delay!

Chapter Twenty-five

Over the course of the next few days, Sansa and Jon didn’t get to see each other all that much. Sansa had to prepare for her performance, and so she met with her fellow classmates that had made it in and the whole production team. She chose her song with Jon in mind: “Crazy For You” by Madonna. 

Preparation and rehearsals were under way and though she was excited to have made it, Sansa still felt a tad overwhelmed by it all. She felt a bit underprepared compared to her other classmates who had already been taking classes and training for things such as this. 

She had the urge to email Jaime and ask his advice, perhaps get a pep talk out of it too, but she had already promised herself that she wouldn’t reply to him again, so she would not give in to that. 

One night, while waiting for Jon to show up she watched Margaery prepare for a date. She and Jon were planning on watching a movie in her room which meant, basically, that they would probably be making out. Sansa had already showered for the second time that day in preparation. 

“What are you thinking about, little dove?” Margaery asked. 

“I’m thinking about Jon.”

“No shit, really?”

Sansa smiled and then it fell as she frowned thoughtfully. “So, you know how you see those movies and read those books about that one person that drives the hero or heroine crazy with lust? Like they are so consumed with that person, and they just have to have them as soon as they see them?”

Margaery smirked. “I’m familiar with that, yes.”

“So, I’m wondering—”

“How you can be that person for Jon?”

Sansa smiled again. “Yes.”

“How do you know you’re not?”

“Because he doesn’t attack me as soon as he sees me. He can seem to keep his hands to himself—”

“So you want him to maul you and paw at you every chance he gets, even at inappropriate times?”

Sansa sighed. “Well, when you put it that way you make it sound silly.”

Margaery came over and sat down beside her, smelling like perfume. “It’s not that it’s silly. It’s just that Jon isn’t really that kind of person. He’s more—”

“Margaery, he told me about his ex. Val. He was like that with her. They did it in the library. I guess doing it in places where they might get caught was a turn on for her and Jon – quiet, unassuming Jon –obliged her.”

“Are you saying you want to become an exhibitionist?”

“I’m saying that I want Jon to want me with that kind of passion.”

“Are you afraid if he doesn’t devour you the second he sees you that means he doesn’t love you? Or want you? Because I assure you, little dove, that boy is completely and utterly yours.”

Sansa frowned. “Maybe I just don’t feel sexy enough.”

“Maybe you’re overthinking everything. I think you just need to relax and let things unfold naturally. This is the best part of any new relationship: the beginning. Everything is fresh and new and exciting. I’m pretty sure he already can’t keep his hands off you, but you’re missing it.”

“He didn’t make out with me during the movie.”

Margaery made a face. “Does anyone do that anymore?”

“Margaery, last month you did it when I went to the movies with you and your boy time at the time.”

Her friend grinned sheepishly. “Oh yeah…”

“I’ll bet he and Val made out when they went to a movie. I bet they even did it.”

“Stop comparing yourself to his ex. Nothing good ever comes of doing that. If things had been great with Val, he would be with her now. He’s not. He’s with you.”

“Val moved away. That’s why he’s not with her.”

“You don’t know they wouldn’t have imploded anyway,” Margaery pointed out. 

Sansa sighed and nodded. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Naturally.”

A knock came at the door and Sansa jumped up and ran to the door. She was so excited to see Jon – never had she felt _this_ excited to see him. 

She whipped the door open and he stood there with a bouquet of flowers in hand. He was grinning as he extended them to her. Sansa melted and buried her face in the sweet-smelling flowers. “They’re so beautiful!” she said giddily.

“Not as beautiful as you,” he said and then stepped inside the room and reached for her. When he saw Margaery watching them with a grin, he dropped his hands. He nodded to the other girl and Margaery just rolled her eyes. 

“For heaven’s sake, Jon, kiss the girl before she perishes,” Margaery said and got up from Sansa’s bed. “I’m off like a prom dress. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, little dove,” she said with a smirk and after grabbing her purse, twirled out of the room. 

“She does make quite an exit, doesn’t she?” Sansa asked as she made her way across the room to find something to put her flowers in. 

She let out a squeak when she felt Jon’s arm snake around her waist and pull her against him. He nipped at her neck and she laughed in delight. 

“I missed you,” he said huskily in her ear. 

She turned in his arms. “I missed you, too.”

He smiled and swooped in to kiss her. It was passionate and heady and everything she wanted. He walked them backwards to her bed and the back of her knees hit the bed, she sat and then scooted back onto it. Jon climbed over her. 

A ripple of excitement, arousal, and anticipation wound its way through her body. Sansa instinctively spread her legs to make room for Jon between them, and she pulled him down by his shirt to kiss him. As he settled himself against her and she once again felt the solidity of him, she thought that perhaps Margaery was right and she didn’t have anything to worry about. 

Jon hoped Sansa didn’t mind that he’d basically attacked her the second they were alone. He’d gone more than a day before without seeing her, but it felt very different now that they were dating. Now he wanted to see her all the time and missed her the instant she wasn’t in his sight. Any time spent not touching her was a waste. 

His heart raced and his skin felt tight at the sight of her. His pants also felt a tad tighter these days…he wondered if half hard was going to be a permanent state of being. Needless to say, he was taking a lot longer in the shower these days. 

When she hummed into their kiss, he kissed her harder. He loved the sounds she made. He loved how responsive she was to his touch, and how eager. He loved that she wanted to please him and explore him. With Val, it had been all about her teaching him. With Sansa, even though he was the more experienced of the two, it was about them exploring each other and finding out what the other liked. 

Basically, he just loved and adored her. 

He wondered how long it would take before she could say the same about him. He knew this was all still new to her – it was to him, too – but they were not new to each other. Only their status. Jon supposed this was why it hadn’t taken a very strong push to realize how he’d truly felt about Sansa all this time. It made sense to him that he should feel this way. It made sense to him that it should be her. But, perhaps, Sansa just needed some more time to figure that out. 

He was jerked out of his thoughts when she lightly raked her nails over his denim clad cock. He went from half-hard to rock hard in a second. She grinned up at him and reminded him of a siren. “You liked that.”

“Yes,” he rasped. 

She rubbed him through his jeans and watched him with great interest. Before he came in his pants though, Jon took her hand away. She pouted and he grinned. He then nipped at her bottom lip and drew it into his mouth. 

“I want more of you,” he said. 

“How much of me?”

“All of you,” he said. “But for now….” He toyed with the hem of her top. “Can I see more of you, Sansa?”

She smirked. “Only if I can see more of you, Jon.”

He lifted himself off her and went for the hem of his shirt. She laughed and he grinned down at her. Once his shirt was gone though, she stopped laughing. Then she started touching. She ran her fingertips over his abs, tracing each indent with precision. Jon’s stomach clenched and his dick grew harder. He was practically panting by the time she reached his pecs. Instead of her nails this time, she flicked over his nipples the way he’d done to her with the pads of her fingers. Jon gripped her wrists. 

“You’re always stopping me,” she scolded lightly. 

“Sweetling, I can only take so much. I’m so hard I feel like I could pound nails.”

She laughed. 

Jon smiled and played with the hem of her shirt. “May I?”

She bit her lip and nodded, reddening slightly. Val and Ygritte hadn’t been so shy about showing off their bodies, but Jon knew that not all women were like those two. He pushed her shirt up slowly, wanting to peruse every inch of her skin as it was revealed to him. Her flat stomach, her soft skin, and then her breasts encased in a lacy purple bra. His mouth went dry. 

“You’re staring,” she said. 

“You’re beautiful,” he said. 

“Can you keep going? My shirt’s all bunched up here on my chest…”

“Oh, sorry,” Jon mumbled and helped her finish taking her shirt off. 

“You look like you don’t know what to do first,” she said. 

“I want to take your bra off,” he blurted out. Now he blushed. 

“Okay,” she said softly. 

He forced himself to look her in the face. “Are you sure?”

She smiled and nodded. 

He reached forward and then paused with his hand in mid-air. “May I do it?” he asked. 

She nodded and he undid the clasp in the front. Once it was open her breasts were right there. Right there in front of him and he Jon thought he might have forgotten to breathe. He curved one hand under her right breast and felt the weight of her in his palm. “God, Sansa, you’re so fucking perfect,” he breathed. 

“Hardly.”

“Shush. You’re so bloody beautiful I can’t…I can’t believe you’re real.”

“I can relate to that feeling,” she murmured. 

He covered her breast with his hand and flicked her nipples the way she liked. Then he bent down and flicked his tongue against her nipple. She inhaled sharply. He then drew her nipple in his mouth and she tunneled her fingers in his hair and moaned. 

He dropped kisses over the mound of her breast and made a path of them across her chest to the other breast, where he paid it the same attention as its twin. Sansa moaned, her hips beginning to move. Jon moved his leg in between her legs and she rubbed herself against him. 

“God, I want you so much,” Jon breathed. 

“I want to feel your skin on mine,” Sansa whispered. 

Jon lay down against her, and gasped at the feel of her breasts against his chest, of her soft skin against his. He kissed her voraciously and rubbed himself against her. He wanted to strip the remaining clothes from her right then. Wanted to taste her first and then sink his hard cock inside her and make her his. 

“Jon, I need more,” she half-panted and half-moaned. “Please…”

He needed more too, but he was determined that he and Sansa would take their time. This taking it slow was new to him, too, but he liked it. He wanted it to build, to gain momentum. He knew that when it finally happened, when they finally made love, it would be a momentous occasion. He wanted to make it all perfect for Sansa because she deserved that. This, this making out and exploring one another would make it all the sweeter. 

He trailed a line down the side of her face with his nose. He slid his hand over her belly and felt it quiver under her touch. He smiled smugly. He got to the top of her jeans and played with the snap. “Can I put my hand on you, Sansa?”

She hesitated for a few seconds and then nodded. 

“Are you sure? You can say no.”

“No, no, just…no one’s ever…obviously.”

“I like being your first,” he said gently and kissed her again. 

“It does seem rather that it is how it is how it should be, doesn’t it?”

“Yes,” he said with much conviction. “It is _exactly_ how it should be.”

“Get on with it then, Jon, please.” 

He chuckled and nuzzled her neck as he undid her jeans. “Bossy.” 

“You can be too, so don’t even start.” 

“Never,” he said as he slid his hand under her panties (cotton) and found her heat. He groaned. “Jesus fuck, Sansa.” 

“How exactly did you mean that…?” she whispered and shifted under his hand. 

“It means I want you so much I can’t see straight. I want to touch you everywhere at once, I want to put my mouth on you, I want to put my cock inside you and make you come again and again.” 

“Wow,” she breathed. “I’ve never heard you talk like that." 

“I’ve never been here with you before.” He teased her folds with his fingers and she moaned and buried her face in his neck. “If I do something you don’t like, tell me,” he said. “Okay?” 

“Okay,” she said weakly. 

Jon found her nub with ease and circled it with his finger. She tensed, quivered in his arms, and whimpered. “Yes?” he whispered. 

“Yes.” 

He then slipped his middle finger inside her wet heat – God, she was so fucking wet for him – and she whimpered again. 

“Yes?” he asked. 

“Yes.” 

“Sure?" 

“Oh, God, Jon, please make me cum, I’m so close.” 

He smiled tenderly. “Sansa, kiss me, sweetling.” 

She lifted her head and pressed her mouth to his, kissing him with so much passion Jon could barely think. He rubbed her nub with the heel of his hand as he fingered her gently – he didn’t want to scare her. 

Her hips arched off the bed and she broke the kiss to cry out. Her mouth feel open and her neck arched. “Jon!” 

“Yes, that’s it, that’s my girl,” he rasped. “Come for me, beautiful girl. Come for me, Sansa.” 

Watching her come tested his own restraint. He was so close himself, but he wanted this to be about her. He wanted to make her come, to show her the pleasure to be had. She gripped his hair in her hands as she kissed him hard. She broke the kiss, leaving them both panting, and Jon withdrew his hand. 

He then proceeded to lick her juices off his fingers. He looked down at her and found her gaping at him. “What?” 

“Does that – do I – does it taste…good?” 

He smiled. “Like ambrosia from the Gods, Sansa.” 

She didn’t look convinced, but she shrugged it off quickly enough. “Can I…touch you now?” she asked. 

“Not this time, love.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because this was about you.” He grinned teasingly. “Next time will be about me.” 

She smiled and ran her hand over his chest and then around his back. “Can we still make out?” 

He groaned. “God, yes,” he muttered and kissed her again. 


	26. Chapter 26

_**HOAR**_

That was what was written on a paper taped to Sansa and Margaery’s door in black marker. Sansa found it on her way back from the bathroom and she snatched it off the door and looked up and down the hallway to see if anyone looked suspicious. 

She brought it inside their room and held it up. 

Margaery looked up and stared at it with squinted brows. “What is that?”

“I just found it taped to our door.”

“Did you see anyone?”

“No.”

“I feel like it’s missing some letters. Like maybe they were trying to spell ‘hoarder’ and ran out of time?”

Sansa frowned and looked down at the crude lettering. “It does look rather slapdash. Like they just did it quick.”

There was a knock on the door and then Jon poked his head inside with his eyes closed. “Everyone decent? And by everyone I mean you, Margaery.”

“Well, well. Look who just helps himself inside our room now,” Margaery drawled. “You date my roommate and all propriety just goes right out the window.”

“My eyes are closed,” he pointed out. 

“Come in, Jon, and you can open your eyes,” Sansa said with a laugh. “Maybe you can help us solve the mystery of the note leaving bandit, who is obviously a terrible speller.” 

Jon came inside and closed the door behind him before coming over to Sansa and kissing her hello. “Note leaving bandit?” he asked. 

Sansa showed him the note. “I found this taped to our door.”

“When?”

“Just now.”

“A hoar as a noun can be ice crystals. As an adjective it can be used to describe greying hair,” Jon explained. “But I don’t think that’s what they were going for.”

“No? You don’t think so?” Sansa deadpanned. 

“Nerd alert!” Margaery said by cupping her hands around her mouth. “I mean, really. Who knows that?”

“I read a lot,” Jon said, sounding a bit indignant. 

“We know you do, honey,” Sansa cooed and patted his cheek. He shot her a look and she giggled. 

“So, obviously they meant whore,” Margaery said. “Although spelling it wrong really takes the sting out of it.”

“Margaery, sweetie, have you pissed anyone off lately?” Sansa asked. 

“Why would you assume me automatically?” Margaery demanded.

“Didn’t you go out with someone’s boyfriend the other night?”

“Uh, hello, he didn’t tell me he was with someone and as soon as she showed up at our table at Applebee’s and dumped his soda over his head I got the fuck out of there. I was the one comforting her in the parking lot I’ll have you know.”

“It could have been just a prank,” Jon said. “A really bad prank since they can’t spell.”

“How do you not know how to spell whore?” Sansa asked rhetorically. 

“If it happens again, I think you should report it to your RA,” Jon said. 

“Are you kidding me? It could have been my RA. I don’t think Daenerys has forgiven me for roping her boyfriend into my web of lies,” Sansa told him. “She still gives me the stink eye.”

“It was probably just one of the idiots on our floor,” Margaery said dismissively. 

“Yeah, probably,” Sansa said with a shrug and balled up the paper and tossed it in the trash. She smiled at Jon. “Ready to go?”

“I am,” Jon replied and gave her a heated look she knew well now. The look of I-really-want-to-be-alone-with-you-so-I-can-suck-your-face-off. 

“Tell me where you’re going again?” Margaery asked. 

“We’re going to the park. The Rec center has one of those inflatable movie screens and they’re going to play _The Princess Bride_ tonight,” Sansa told her. 

“That actually sounds like fun. Though, how will you guys ever survive not making out for two hours?”

“And on that note, we’re going,” Sansa said and pulled Jon with her out the door. 

They were quiet until they got to the elevator. And then once inside – and alone – Jon kissed her as though he hadn’t seen her in days rather than hours. 

“I think Margaery might be right,” she murmured. 

“Don’t say that. I feel like saying Margaery is right about anything is just inviting the apocalypse.”

Sansa laughed and then looked up at him coyly. “How am I supposed to keep my hands to myself?”

He groaned. “Don’t look at me like that, Sansa. I feel like all I’ve shown you is my dorm room. I want to take you out on real dates.”

“You took me to the beach…”

“And I pawed at you the whole time.”

“You make it sound like that’s a bad thing. Oh! You also took me to a movie.”

He pondered this as the doors opened on the first floor. “Okay, you do have a point. I don’t feel so guilty anymore. So, we’ll go back to my room and make out after the movie?”

She smiled widely as they walked out of the elevator and made their way to the front doors. “Yes. There’s something I want to do to you…”

“Fucking hell, Sansa, are you trying to kill me? I’m going to be hard all night just imagining what you have planned.”

She smiled flirtatiously at him. “Good. I need you hard for what I’m going to do.”

Jon growled and reached for her and she twirled away from his grasp. “Sansa.”

“Catch me if you can,” she called out as she ran towards his car. 

He did catch her and when he did, he kissed the hell out of her. “Maybe we don’t have to go to the movie,” he said. “We could just go back to my room...”

“Nope, we’re going now,” she told him. “Just think how much better it will be when we’re alone and all that tension has built up and it’s thick and throbbing—”

“For the love of God, stop,” Jon begged. 

She smiled and kissed him quickly. “Come on, let’s go.”

He watched her run around to the passenger side door and said fondly, “As you wish.”

xxxxxxxxx

As soon as Jon saw Ygritte with one of her friends on a blanket with one of her friends, he wished he and Sansa had decided to go to his room instead. 

She didn’t talk to him in class anymore and that was fine with Jon. They hadn’t exactly broken up on the best of terms. What worried him though was the offhanded remark she did make one afternoon as they were leaving class. All she’d said was “How’s Sansa?” in a very pointed manner that let him know she knew he was dating Sansa now. That had been shortly after their breakup and he hadn’t thought much about it. Until now. 

“Crap on a crayfish,” Sansa muttered. “Your ex is here.”

“I know. Let’s just find a spot far away from her, okay?”

Sansa sighed and she followed Jon to a spot on the outskirts of the other people in attendance. She helped him spread out the blanket from his car and then unpacked the bag of snacks and drinks they’d brought. 

Sansa tore into a bag of Twizzlers while Jon tore into his old stand-by: Milk Duds. He made sure to pour a few in Sansa’s hand and she passed him a few Twizzlers. He laughed to himself and she looked over at him quizzically. “What are you laughing about, Chuckles?”

“I’m just thinking how we have a system when we go to a movie and a system when we go out to eat. If we have anything with onions or tomatoes, you take the tomatoes and I take the onions.”

“And I still say it’s abnormal for you to not like tomatoes.” 

“You don’t like watermelon. That’s even more abnormal.”

“Hey, I—oh shit.”

“What?”

“Ygritte is headed over here.”

Jon looked and Sansa wacked him with a Twizzler. It stung and he glared at her. 

“You’re not supposed to look,” she hissed. 

“What else am I supposed—”

“Hello, Jon. Sansa,” Ygritte said. 

Jon looked up at her and nodded. “Ygritte.”

“Hello, Ygritte,” Sansa said politely. “How are you?”

“I’m swell, Sansa, thank you for asking,” Ygritte said in exaggerated politeness. It was clear she was not “swell”. 

“There’s a word you don’t hear often enough,” Sansa said. “Swell. I think I’ll start bringing it into rotation.”

“You do that,” Ygritte said. “Well, I just thought I’d come over and say hello. No reason why we can’t all be friendly, right?”

“Well, you weren’t really all that friendly to begin with,” Sansa said matter-of-factly. 

Jon nudged her discreetly with his elbow. 

“Yes, well, it’s hard to be nice when someone is after your boyfriend,” Ygritte said. 

“I wasn’t after Jon,” Sansa told her. “You were threatened by our friendship, Ygritte, but nothing happened between us while you and Jon were together.”

“No, just immediately after he broke up with me, right?”

“Ygritte, let it go,” Jon said, using what Sansa called his “Senor Bossy Pants” voice. 

“No, Jon, I won’t let it go. The corpse of our relationship wasn’t even cold yet before you started dating this little twat.”

“Takes one to know one huh, Ygritte?” Sansa said pointedly. 

Ygritte lurched forward with the water bottle in her hand towards Sansa and managed to get her right in the face with the water. 

“That’s enough!” Jon shouted and got to his feet. “Leave now, Ygritte. You’re making a fool out of yourself.”

And then Milk Duds went sailing past him and at Ygritte. Sansa, as it turned out, had pretty good aim. Until she hit someone on another blanket in front of her and he complained. 

And it was about then that they all got kicked out of the park.


	27. Chapter 27

“I can’t believe we got kicked out because of a Milk Dud,” Sansa grumbled as she stormed into her dorm room with Jon in tow. Margaery was out, though Sansa didn’t know for how long. “That guy was a total wuss.”

“I can’t believe you stooped to her level, Sansa,” Jon said. 

Sansa spun around and glared at him. “She threw water in my face, Jon. You expected me to not retaliate?”

“Yes, because she wanted you to do something.”

“She’s lucky I didn’t punch her in the face,” Sansa muttered and went to her closet to get a dry shirt. She whipped her damp one off and was about to reach for a dry one in her closet when Jon’s arms came around her. He pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

“Can we just forget about Ygritte?” he asked and bit at the lobe of her ear. “Please? Remember how we wanted to be alone anyway…If anything, we should be thanking her for giving us an excuse to come back here.”

“Is this because I’m only in my bra right now?”

He fingered the strap of her bra. “I could always take it off for you…”

She turned in his arms and wrapped her own around his neck. “I…” she sighed, shook her head and unwound her arms. “Nope, I’m sorry. Mood is totally gone.” She tried to move away from him, but Jon wouldn’t let her go. 

“What can I do to get it back?” he asked, giving her puppy dog eyes.

Sansa placed her hands on his chest and narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. 

“Shit,” he muttered. “I’m in for it now.”

“What do you mean?” 

“The last time I had to get you out of a bad mood you made me talk in pig Latin for an hour.”

“And you did very well!”

“The real question is – why do I do these things?”

She laughed. “I don’t know. Why do you?”

His expression softened and he leaned in so their lips were a hairsbreadth apart. “It must be because I love you.”

“At-thay ust-may e-bay it-thay. Did I just say e-bay?”

Jon laughed softly and kissed her, trying to push down his disappointment that she didn’t say she loved him back. He was trying so hard to be patient about that, but he just wanted so badly to know she felt the same. He felt like until then he knew she was right there with him, their future was uncertain. Like at any moment she could disappear. 

It was possible he was imposing his past experiences with Val onto Sansa. Still, he couldn’t help but want to hear the woman he loved tell him she loved him back. He was all in, and he wanted Sansa to be all in with him. 

“I won’t make you talk in talk pig Latin,” she said. 

“Thank God.”

“But I want a hot fudge sundae. Can you make that happen?”

“Yes, sweetling, I can.”

She smiled brightly at him and Jon felt like he fell in love with her all over again. If only she knew how she held his heart in her delicate little hands. 

xxxxxxx

“You know one of the things I love about you is how you never shy away from eating something bad for you, and you aren’t afraid to eat a lot of it,” Jon said later as they made their way into his dorm. 

Sansa patted her stomach. “Well, see, I have this theory about ice cream…”

“Do tell,” he said with a grin as he opened the door to his room and gestured for her to enter. 

“Have you ever seen those bottles filled with various colored rocks and sand, or just the rocks?” she asked as she passed by him and flicked on the light in his room. 

“I have,” Jon said and closed the door behind him. He kicked off his shoes and Sansa did the same. 

She came over to him and put her hands on his belt as she spoke. “Well, let’s say that bottle is your stomach, and the rocks are the food.” She then undid his belt, then the snap of his jeans and pulled down the zipper. 

Jon felt light-headed. He put his hands over hers. “Sansa, what are you doing?”

She wagged a finger at him. “Jon, I’m talking and in the middle of doing something. It’s very rude to interrupt.”

“Sorry,” he croaked. 

“As I was saying…” She pushed down his jeans over his hips and then knelt down and pulled down his boxers. 

He was hard. So hard he thought he could pound nails. And Sansa was on her knees and so close to his dick. Jon put his hand on the wall beside him to steady himself. 

“So the bottle _looks_ full,” she whispered and seemed to assess his cock before putting her hand around it. 

Jon gasped and his hips jerked. “Sansa.”

“But it’s not full,” she continued and then slowly, almost haltingly, licked the head of his cock. 

“Fuck!” Jon exclaimed, and then groaned. “Oh, fuck, Sansa.”

“There are all these little spaces between the rocks,” she said and then took him in her mouth. Jon gasped and his eyes rolled up in his head. Her mouth was warm. Wet. Oh, fucking hell. Sansa was sucking him off. 

Sansa smirked as she pulled her mouth off him with a pop. “And ice cream fills those spaces between the rocks giving credence to the idea that there is _always_ room for ice cream.” Bloody hell, he didn’t even know what the fuck she was talking about anymore. Men, he thought, really were simple creatures. All Sansa had to do was put her mouth on him and he lost the ability to think coherently. 

She took him completely in her mouth again and Jon thought he was going to keel over. “Sansa, Sansa, my Sansa,” he babbled as his hands went to her hair and his fingers tunneled through her soft locks. She hummed as she rolled her tongue around his cock and then sucked on the tip. 

Jon wanted to ask how she learned to do this, but he presently could not form words. 

She licked him like a Popsicle and sucked him so good that if he knew this was what she’d had in mind earlier then he never would have made them go to the goddamn movie. 

She cupped his balls then and Jon couldn’t breathe. “Sansa, I’m going to come,” he managed to choke out. “Move, Sansa.”

She shook her head and continued to suck him. He let out a strangled cry as he came in her mouth. Some got on her cheek and she wiped it off with her finger. 

Jon wasn’t sure how he was still standing. He felt dizzy and his heart was pounding so hard he was certain she could hear it. Sansa got up and grabbed some tissues from the tissue box on his bureau and cleaned her hand. “Interesting,” she said, “it sort of had the consistency of yogurt.”

Jon just stared at her. “How – did you – how did you learn how to do that?”

“I watched a lot of porn. And I asked Margaery to help me. I practiced on a cucumber.”

“Oh God,” Jon moaned and pulled up his boxer and jeans with shaky hands. 

“I was really nervous about that,” she admitted. “Did I do all right?”

Jon sat down on his bed. “Sansa, I came so hard I saw stars. You did brilliant.”

She smiled proudly. 

He held out his hand to her. “Come here.”

She came over and took his hand and he pulled her onto his lap. He kissed her voraciously. “I love you,” he whispered. 

“Can you taste yourself on me?” she wondered. 

He swallowed hard. “Yes. I don’t mind.”

She smiled and kissed him again. “My hands were shaking,” she admitted. “I wanted to surprise you, but I was really nervous. I figured it was like my audition – I just had to push through it.”

“You can surprise me any time you want, Sansa.”

She wrapped her arms around him and placed her chin on his shoulder. “So, you know how I said I’ve been watching a lot of porn?”

“Yeah?” he choked out. 

“I have some questions…”

“Yeah?” He didn’t think he was going to survive this conversation. 

“What’s your favorite position?”

“I’m a guy, Sansa. All of them are my favorite as long as it involves me inside you.”

“I thought you weren’t like most guys?”

Of course she remembered that. “I’m like a guy when it comes to some things. But I also told you that I liked being with a woman I felt something for.”

“So, what was Ygritte then?”

“A lapse in judgment?”

“Sure. Okay. I can roll with that.” She pulled her head back and looked at him. “So, no favorite position at all…? Or maybe…a place?”

He looked at her in confusion. “A place? What do you mean a place?”

“Just that when you were with Val—”

“Sansa Stark.”

Her brows went up. “Oooh, It’s Senor Bossy Pants’ voice.”

“Why are you bringing up Val?”

She squirmed in his lap and looked down, avoiding his gaze. 

Jon put his hands on either side of her face and made her look at him. “Sansa. Why are you bringing up Val like this?”

“Because from the sound of it, you lost your head over her. You did all these crazy adventurous things because you were so overcome with passion and love for her and I…” She swallowed hard and tried to remove his hands from her face. He didn’t budge. “And I want you to feel the same way about me. I’m as pure – well, _almost_ as pure as the driven snow now – and you’re not at all. You shared some crazy sex with Val and I want you to feel like you can do that with me.”

“I don’t even know where to begin with all of that.”

Finally, Sansa succeeded in removing his hands from his face. She’d shocked him; she could see it all over his face. Embarrassed, she started to get up off his lap, but he pulled her back to him and held her tight. 

“Do you not think I am overcome with love and passion for you, Sansa?” he demanded. 

“I know you love me.”

“Do you?”

“Why do you sound so angry?”

“Because while I knew we weren’t exactly on the same page with our relationship, I at least thought we were close to—”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Sansa got up from his lap and this time, he let her. “What do you mean by not exactly on the same page?

He sighed and raked a hand through his hair. “You don’t love me yet.”

She gaped at him. “What?”

“You don’t love me yet. I say it and you don’t say it back.” He stood. “I get it. You’re not there yet. But while I’m waiting to hear it and hopefully making you fall in love with me, you’re thinking I don’t even love you.”

“It’s not that I don’t think you love me…”

“Then what is it exactly?”

“I guess because you said that you and Val were so… _passionate_ and went at it like bunnies – I mean you did her in the library. That’s, like, your place of worship, Jon. You’re typically pretty quiet and not really into the PDA and I just think that you must have really loved and wanted Val to be so adventurous with her. You didn’t even kiss me in the movie theater—”

Jon didn’t give her a chance to finish. His hands cupped her face in his hands and he kissed her so passionately Sansa felt her knees leave her. 

“Sansa, there are no words for how much I love you and want you,” he told her heatedly. “What I had with Val was not real, not like it is with you. You are my best friend. You know me better than anyone, and I like to think that it’s the same for you with me.”

She nodded emphatically. “It—it is.”

He then picked her up and carried her to his bed and lay her down. “Every time I’m with you I want to put my hands on you,” he said, his voice low and deep. He climbed over her and placed his hands on the snap of her jeans. “I want them off,” he said. 

“Oh-okay,” she said and he undid the snap of her jeans and pulled down the zipper. He yanked her jeans down her legs and tossed them carelessly to the floor. On his knees, he placed his hands on either side of her hips and bent his head to her panty-clad pussy and nuzzled her there. 

“I’ve wanted my mouth on you; I’ve wanted so badly to taste you,” he murmured as he began pulling her panties down. 

Any reservations Sansa had about him putting his mouth on her _down there_ were gone. His take-charge attitude was making her hot, and judging by the way her pussy was tingling, she was also wet. 

“I go to bed thinking about you. I wake up thinking about you,” he said softly and then licked up her slit. Sansa arched off the bed. “Oh my God, Jon,” she muttered. 

He teased her clit with his thumb and Sansa gasped. 

He swirled his tongue around her clit and then said, “You have no idea how many times I’ve jerked off thinking about you…wanting to be with you…I miss you the second I’m away from you…”

He licked and sucked and nibbled on her until Sansa thought she was going to lose her mind. And then she did. She came and came and came and Jon lapped up every. Single. Drop. He then proceeded to kiss his way up her body. 

He hovered over her and asked with a smirk, “Do you want to taste yourself, Sansa?”

She yanked him down to her and kissed him hard. Deeply. Hungrily. 

Jon gathered her in his arms and rolled them to their sides. “Don’t ever compare yourself to who came before. None of them matter to me. Remember what I said to you: there is no me without you. You _own_ me, Sansa.”

“Jon, I do lo—”

He put his finger to her mouth, stopping her. “No. Don’t say it now. Don’t say it unless you’re sure. I want you to be sure. I can wait as long as I know that you’re not going anywhere.”

“Where else would I go?” she asked. “I’m yours, Jon.” 

He smiled and kissed her, holding her close to him. “Will you stay the night with me? I want to fall asleep with you in my arms and wake up with you here.”

She smiled and nodded. “Yes.”

“And if you really want me to have sex with you in the library I will.”

She laughed. “Will you really?”

“I’m hard pressed to say no to anything you want if you hadn’t noticed.”

“Well…there is one thing you denied me…”

He arched a brow in question. “And what was that?”

She smiled devilishly. “Jon, did I ever tell you that you’re my hero?”

He chuckled and moved her onto her back. “Sansa, you are the wind beneath my wings.” 

And then Jon went down on her again.


	28. Chapter 28

The next few weeks flew by and sadly Jon and Sansa didn’t get to see much of each other. Sansa had rehearsals, and the end of the semester crunch time had everyone buckling down and preparing for finals. 

Whenever Jon and Sansa did manage to catch some alone time together, they couldn’t seem to keep their hands off each other. Tonight, two days before the show, was no different. It was late by the time Sansa showed up at Jon’s after rehearsal, but he had promised to help her come up with a study guide for one of her classes, so she had thought they had the best of intentions. 

A half hour later with her laptop on his nightstand and Jon’s hand under her shirt, Sansa thought that if she failed her finals it might be worth it for this. No, no, she had to pass or her parents would see her involvement with this production as detracting from her schoolwork, and might see her dating Jon as doing the same. 

“Jon,” she gasped just as his mouth found her nipple. 

“Mmm?”

“We have to stop.”

He groaned and let her breast fall from his mouth. “Why?” he asked breathlessly. 

She smiled. Ever since they’d had that talk about Val and Sansa’s concerns about him not wanting her as much as his ex, Jon hadn’t been so restrained when it came to showing her how he felt. This was Jon unrestrained and she loved it. 

“Because we have to study,” she said. 

He groaned again and rolled off her. “You’re right,” he said and stared up at the ceiling. 

Sansa rolled onto her side and slid a hand from his chest down to his erection, currently encased in his jeans. “I’ll give you a treat if you set up how you do your study guides for me.”

He looked at her, his eyes clouded over with lust. “Give me your laptop.”

She giggled and they both sat up. Sansa handed him her laptop and climbed out of the bed. “Nature calls. Be right back.”

Sansa hummed to herself as she went about her business and she couldn’t help the dreamy smile on her face. When she returned to Jon’s room however, she found him looking quite angry with her laptop on his lap. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked and shut the door behind her. 

“Why is Dr. Lannister sending you emails?” he asked, his voice low. 

She blinked. “What?” She hadn’t heard from Jaime in weeks and so she’d thought that was it – in her mind it was it because she really hadn’t planned on replying to him again even if he had wrote her back. And then she’d been so busy she just forgot about it. “How did you…”

He looked at her, his jaw clenched. “How did I find out?”

“Were you looking at my email?” she asked indignantly. 

“Not on purpose,” he said. “Your email was already up when I opened your laptop. Lo and behold, there was his email with an apology for having taken so long to get back to you. What the fuck, Sansa?”

“It was nothing—”

“How long has this been going on?” Jon demanded as he put her laptop on his bed and got to his feet. His whole body was tense. The last time she’d seen him this angry was when…well, when he’d found out that she had been seeing Jaime. 

“Not—not long. See, I sent him an email after he left the school. I just kind of wanted closure,” she said quickly and began to wring her hands. 

“And?”

“And he wrote me back.”

“And?”

“And we exchanged a few e-mails—”

“For fuck’s sake, Sansa!” 

“It was innocent. There was nothing dirty or lascivious in them – he gave me advice about what classes to take and what professors to avoid and I…just…”

“Spit it out, Sansa.”

“I felt bad for him! I felt bad for him and I wanted to know what was going to happen to him now and why I was so special to him!”

“How could you possibly feel bad for that man or believe anything he said?! Everything he did and said was done with the intent to get in your pants. Do you need validation that badly that you would turn to that asshole in order to get it?”

Well, that certainly stung. Sansa couldn’t even believe he’d said it. Jon seemed to realize his error and he held up his hands in supplication. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t meant that.”

“Yes, you did,” she said furiously. “And you know what? Maybe I did want some validation. I’m so sorry I’m not as perfect and completely comfortable in my own skin as you are. Maybe I wanted to know what drew him to me so I could figure out what you saw in me.”

“Sansa—”

“I’m not exactly experienced and _as you now know_ I was feeling a little insecure. It wasn’t like I was going to meet up with him or exchange hot emails with him. And just for the record, I can feel sorry for the guy. He’s fucked up! You think I don’t know that?”

“The fact that you didn’t tell me about the e-mails tells me you knew it wasn’t right for you to be doing it,” Jon told her. He pointed at her. “Don’t you dare turn this back on me, Sansa.”

“You want to read them? Go ahead. There’s nothing salacious in them. In fact, he knows about you because I told him after he asked if you’d finally declared yourself.”

“Maybe I will read them,” he said challengingly. 

“Go ahead. I’ve nothing to hide.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me about them?”

“Because I knew you’d freak out like you are right now!”

“I don’t want you talking to him, Sansa. How would you feel if I started exchanging emails with Ygritte? Or Val?” Sansa winced at that and Jon noticed it. He pointed at her. “See? You wouldn’t like it.”

“Jon—”

“And what’s more after all that man has done you shouldn’t be emailing him! He used you, Sansa, just as he used all those other students before you and while he was seeing you. Why would you want to keep talking to someone like that?”

Now she just felt stupid and naïve and all those things that made her just feel like a stupid little girl pretending to be all grown-up. “I’m sorry I’m not as worldly as you.”

“Sansa, that’s not what I’m saying.”

“So you don’t think I’m naïve?”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair and Sansa glared at him. She stomped over to the bed and snatched up her laptop and shoved it in her carrying case. 

“You can be naïve,” he began gently. “But—”

“I know. I know I’m naïve. I’m still a stupid little girl. I’m not as brash as Ygritte, and I’m not as experienced as Val—”

“Don’t you dare start comparing yourself to them,” he said sternly. 

“Stop telling me what to do, Jon,” she snapped and zipped up her carrying case. She marched to the door and he called out to her, “Sansa, wait. Let’s just talk about this.”

“No, I’m done talking. Good night, Jon.”

She slammed the door behind her and marched to her dorm room in record time. Margaery was awake and watching TV when she arrived and her friend took one look at her asked, “What’s wrong?”

Sansa burst into tears. “I did something really stupid and Jon found out about it and he got mad at me and called me on it and we just got into a fight and I think I was wrong…”

Margaery rushed over to her and took Sansa’s carrying case off her shoulder and placed it on the floor. She walked Sansa to her bed and sat down with her. “Tell Aunty Margaery all about it,” she cooed as she rubbed Sansa’s back in circles. 

Sansa looked at her. “Aunty Margaery?”

“Too weird?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, just tell me what happened.”

Sansa spilled it all, telling her all about her emails with Jaime, her genuine concern over what would happen with him, how some part of her did want some validation because she’d been so hung up on Jon’s relationship with Val, and she ended with telling her about her fight with Jon. 

“Aw, sweetheart,” Margaery said and handed her some tissues from the box on Sansa’s desk, “I think you might have been a little defensive over having been caught, and I think Jon was more than a little jealous and probably concerned considering what Dr. Lannister almost got away with regarding your ‘relationship’ him. He was probably afraid you’d get sucked in again.”

“I wouldn’t have though,” Sansa said. “I love Jon.”

“Have you told him that yet?” Margaery asked gently. 

Sansa started to cry again. “No.”

“Well, what are you waiting for? Why haven’t you told him?”

“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. The right moment?”

“Have you considered that maybe Jon feels just as insecure as you have because you haven’t said you love him yet? I mean, we all knew how you two felt about each other long before either of you did. I’m sure putting himself out there is not easy for Jon and while I’m sure intellectually he knows you love him, that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t want to hear it from you.”

Sansa flopped onto the bed and pushed her face in the pillow. “Whdoshelvme?”

Margaery laughed. “Say what?”

Sansa moved her face out of the pillow and sat back up. “Why does he love me? Someone so stupid and naïve?”

“Jon can be naïve, too, Sansa, so don’t let him fool you on that. And you’re not stupid. You just have this really big heart and want to see the best in others. There is nothing wrong with that. That’s why you have me and Jon to tell you when someone might not exactly be good people. And Jon loves you because of that and for a million other reasons that make you so wonderful. That boy can’t live without you in his life. His whole relationship with Ygritte revolved around you and how he could still keep you close and have Ygritte, too. And look what happened. She lost because as it turns out the only one Jon wants is you.”

Sansa looked at her friend with watery eyes. “If I was a lesbian I would date you in a heartbeat, Margaery Tyrell.”

Margaery smiled. “And if you were into it and Jon was willing to share, I would be all over you in a heartbeat, Sansa Stark.”

Sansa smiled, wondering just how much Margaery meant that and decided it might be best not to know. She had enough to contend with right now. “What do I do now?”

Margaery smiled and brushed some hair from Sansa’s face. “You get cleaned up and go to bed. You’ve been a busy girl lately and I’m sure the fact that you’ve had almost no rest didn’t help matters. Tomorrow, you go find Jon and fix it.”

Sansa nodded. “Okay.”

Tomorrow, she would not only fix it, but she’d also find some way to make it up to him. The ideas began to roll around in her brain. Perhaps once the show was over, she and Jon could check into a hotel and finally consummate their relationship…


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fluffy chapter, just a precursor before the main event...
> 
> Also, this:
> 
> [](http://s1132.photobucket.com/user/Janina44/media/collagetwofoolthings_zps1rinbvqu.jpg.html)

It was probably in poor taste for Sansa to read Jaime’s email considering the argument her and Jon had gotten into over it, but she was still curious about what it said. She barely even remembered the last thing she’d sent him. It came back to her though when she read the email. 

_Sansa,_

_When I said that you were different from the others, I wasn’t feeding you a line. I know that’s probably hard to believe considering all that I’ve done, but it’s true._

_You are an amazing person. You’re intelligent and witty and full of life. You have such a big heart and I could tell right away that you were a star. You’re the sort of person that people flock to, because they see want to be next you in just bask in your light. That was what I saw on Jon’s face whenever he was with you. You are his sun. His North Star. Given more time, I know I would have fallen in love with you, Sansa._

_Well. I got a little carried away there, didn’t I?_

_I am actually in England right now, taking some time to get my head on straight. I wish you well, Sansa. I know that you are going places._

_Yours,_

_Jaime_

Sansa was touched – how could she not be? But it was time to put Jaime in the past. She deleted his email, and picked up her phone and sent Jon a text: _I’m sorry. About everything. You were right. I shouldn’t been talking to Jaime in the first place, and I should have told you about it. Forgive me?_

A knock came at her door not even a minute later and she got up from the bed to answer it. 

It was Jon. 

“Yes,” he said and reached for her. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. He then walked her back into the room and kicked the door shut with his foot. “What I said last night about you being naïve, I didn’t mean it—”

“No, it’s true, I can be—”

“It’s not that you’re naïve. It’s that you see the best in everyone – even when they don’t deserve it. It’s one of the many things I love that about you. It’s just that when I see you headed into danger my instinct is to protect you. I love you, Sansa. You’re my girl and—”

Sansa put her hand over his mouth to stop him from talking. He looked at her in question. “I love you, Jon. I don’t know why it took me so long to say it, but I do, and I have for a long time.”

He looked at her searchingly. “You---you mean that?”

“Yes.” She smiled. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” 

He kissed her hard and pushed her backwards further until the back of her knees hit her bed. She moved back onto it and Jon followed, crawling over her. He trailed kisses down to her neck and fitted his hand under her shirt. “I want you,” he breathed. 

“I want you, too,” she whispered. “I’m ready.”

He lifted his head and looked down at her. “You are?”

“Yes. Are you?”

“God, yes.”

“What do you think about tomorrow night after the show?” she asked coyly. 

“Yes. I’ll get my room ready and make it—”

“No.”

“No?” he asked, his brows furrowed in confusion. 

“I’ve kind of been looking at hotel rooms…”

He broke into a wide grin. “Have you now?”

She nodded. “What do you think?”

“I think my girlfriend is fucking amazing,” he said and kissed her until they were both breathless. “Did you find a room?”

“I did. Do you want to see it?”

“Did you pay for it?”

“Not yet.”

“Good. I want to pay for it.”

“But I was going to,” she said. 

“Why?”

“Because I kept talking to Jaime from you…because I talked to Jaime…because I tried to turn it around on you last night so I would look less guilty…”

“A-ha! I knew it.”

“Yeah, yeah, yuk it up, Chuckles.”

Jon laughed. “Chuckles? That’s a new one. However, no. I want to pay for it. This is your first time, Sansa, and I want to make it special for you.”

“Well, it’s not just my first time, it’s our first time as a couple.”

He sighed and looked at her. “Do you want to go halfsies?”

She beamed at him. “Yes! See, you know me so well.”

He laughed. “I know it’s difficult to argue with you.”

“Therefore you shouldn’t,” she said and he rolled his eyes. She poked him in the shoulder. “Hey, you know what’s weird?”

“No, but I’m sure you’re gonna tell me.”

She smirked. “Someone’s cheeky.”

“Sansa, you told me you loved me and we’re going to have sex tomorrow night. I’m on top of the fucking world. I am allowed to be cheeky.”

Now she rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine. So, the thing that’s weird? Last night was our first fight as a couple, but it didn’t feel like our first fight.”

Jon laughed, and dropped his forehead to her shoulder. “That’s because we’ve had plenty of fights. Maybe you remember some of them? They usually entail you not listening to a word I say and charging ahead to do what you want to do anyway, and then when something bad happens, you blame me for not stopping you.”

“When—”

“Dr. Lannister.”

“That’s not fair. That’s a recent example—”

“You bought candles after I told you couldn’t have them in the dorm and they were promptly confiscated after you dropped twenty bucks on them.”

“It’s a stupid rule!”

“When you wore only your hoodie in the dead of winter back home and came down with a cold.”

“You can stop now,” she said and glared at him. 

He grinned. “I love you, Sansa.”

“Okay, but you know what I just learned from all of that?”

“This should be good,” he muttered. 

“You’re a goody-two-shoes. And you need me.”

“That is true,” he murmured and kissed her. “The needing you part, not the goody-two-shoes part.”

“I like to think that I help inject some fun in your life. You’re just so _responsible_ , Jon.”

“Yes, and I remind you to _be_ responsible.”

She smiled. “A perfect pair.”

“Indeed,” he murmured and kissed her. “One thing though…”

“Yes?” Sansa asked, a bit dazed after that kiss. 

His hands went to the waist of her jeans and he undid the snap and then the zipper. He smirked as he slipped his hand down to her panty-clad pussy. “I’m not _always_ a goody-two-shoes.”

Sansa moaned. “Thank God for that.”


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so this chapter is a bit cheesy. Just bear with me, okay? LOL

Sansa wondered what Jon would think of her getup for the performance. It had taken some time, but thanks to a little thing called the internet, the costume department had been able to find an almost exact replica of Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” costume from her 80s MTV music awards performance. She had the white lacy bustier, the white poofy taffeta skirt, the white heels and veil, and even the iconic Boy Toy belt. 

She was nervous how the show would go, and even more nervous that Jon and Margaery would be in the audience waiting for her performance. She didn’t want to make a fool out of herself. Jon had spent the whole day sending her text messages telling her loved her and couldn’t wait to see her performance. She’d teased him that he just couldn’t wait until afterwards when they left for the hotel. _No, Sansa_ , he’d replied. _I am truly excited to see your performance tonight. You have an incredible voice and you have worked so hard for this. You are my girl, and I’m proud of you._

As she pulled on her white lace gloves and then pulled on her black bracelets, she focused on breathing. She checked the bow on the top of her head and when it was time for her to go on, she felt as though she’d stepped outside her body. 

The crowd cheered when she walked out onto the stage and Sansa stepped up to the mic and said, “Thank you. I’d like to dedicate this song to my boyfriend Jon. I love you, baby.”

And then the swell of the music came and Sansa belted out her song just as she’d practiced. 

“Swaying room as the music starts  
Strangers making the most of the dark  
Two by two their bodies become one  
I see you through the smoky air  
Can't you feel the weight of my stare  
You're so close but still a world away  
What I'm dying to say, is that

I'm crazy for you  
Touch me once and you'll know it's true  
I never wanted anyone like this  
It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss  
I'm crazy for you, crazy for you

Trying hard to control my heart  
I walk over to where you are  
Eye to eye we need no words at all  
Slowly now we begin to move  
Every breath I'm deeper into you  
Soon we two are standing still in time  
If you read my mind, you'll see

I'm crazy for you  
Touch me once and you'll know it's true  
I never wanted anyone like this  
It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss  
you’ll feel it in my kiss because 

I'm crazy for you  
Touch me once and you'll know it's true  
I never wanted anyone like this  
It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss  
I'm crazy for you, crazy for you..."

The crowd erupted and Sansa waved and blew kisses and walked off stage as though on a cloud. When she got backstage, her friend Jeyne hugged her excitedly. “Oh my God, Sansa, your voice was so amazing!” Jeyne exclaimed. 

“Was it? I can’t even remember singing,” Sansa said with a half astonished and half nervous laugh. “Did I get that note there that I kept struggling with…?”

“Nailed it.”

Sansa beamed, found a place to sit, and practically collapsed with relief and joy and the feeling of success. 

xxxxxxx

Margaery nudged Jon with her elbow as Sansa walked off the stage. “Are you crying?”

Jon discreetly wiped a tear away. “I’m not crying. You’re crying.”

Margaery laughed. “Oh my God, Jon, you are _such_ a sap.”

xxxxxx

The rest of the show went by in a blur and thankfully there wasn’t much left after she was done. She was on a cloud nine that she’d nailed her performance, but she was eager to get the rest of the night. She wanted to see Jon. 

As soon as it was time to take their bows, Sansa was itching to get out of her costume. She scoured the audience looking for Jon and Margaery, but couldn’t find them in the sea of faces. When they were done, she practically ran off the stage so she could change. 

And there they were. Margaery ran to her first and threw her arms around her. “I’m going to be your manager,” she blurted out. “When you become famous, I get dibs on being your manager, okay? Fuck film. I want to manage you.”

Sansa laughed. “Okay.”

And then Jon was there, holding out a bouquet of red roses to her. Sansa buried her face in them and beamed at him. “Hey,” she greeted him. 

Jon took the flowers from her and handed them to Margaery. He then took her in his arms, holding her as though she was precious cargo. “I am so proud of you,” he said hoarsely. “My God, Sansa.”

“Thank you,” she said shyly. 

“Jon cried,” Margaery said. 

Sansa pulled back and looked at him. “You cried?”

Jon shot Margaery a glare and then sighed and looked at Sansa. “I might have…gotten a little teary. You told that entire audience you loved me. You dedicated your song to me…”

“I thought about you every time I sang it.”

“You’re gonna make him cry again,” Margaery said. 

“Margaery, isn’t your date in the hall waiting for you?” Jon said pointedly. 

Margaery laughed and handed Sansa her roses before kissing her on the cheek. She then patted Jon on the head and left. 

Jon frowned and tugged on her belt. He looked at her. “Boy toy?”

“I was going for the full Madonna effect.”

“So you’ll never wear this belt again?”

She laughed. “No, probably not.”

“I mean, kudos for nailing her look and all, but some asshat behind me made some comment about he’d like you to be his toy and I almost punched him.”

Sansa kissed him sweetly. “My hero. So, I’m going to change…”

Jon cleared his throat and nodded. “I’ll meet you in the hall?”

She nodded. “Can we grab something quick to eat on the way to the hotel ‘cause I’m starving?”

“Of course.”

Sansa kissed him quickly, handed him her flowers, and then hurried to the bathroom. One adventure down. One more to go. It was a toss-up which one she had been more nervous about. 

However, she was excited too. She was so lucky that the man she loved was also her best friend. That he was going to be her first seemed absolutely right. 

After changing into pedal pushers, sandals, and a strappy tank top that would be easy to whip off her later, Sansa met Jon in the hall. 

He looked nervous, too, which Sansa found both odd and endearing. When she asked him why he was nervous considering he’d done this before he said, “Because this is my first time with you. I want it to be perfect for you.”

“It will be,” she assured him. “I’m with you.” She took her flowers from him. “Ready?”

He held out his hand and she took it with a smile. The next adventure was about to commence…


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT!!

Sansa gasped when Jon turned the light on in the hotel room and she found the bed covered with rose petals, soft music playing, and a tray of lemon bars on the nightstand. 

“There’s two milkshakes chilling in the fridge,” he told her as he wrapped his arms around her from behind and nuzzled at her neck. 

“Even though I just wolfed down that hamburger from Wendy’s, I am so going to stuff my face with those lemon bars.” She looked over her shoulder at him. “Grab the milkshakes?”

“Of course.”

Sansa was almost afraid to get on the bed, but in the end she did anyway. “I can’t believe you did all this, Jon.”

“I can be romantic,” he said a bit indignantly as he handed her, her shake. He then sat down beside her. 

She stuffed a lemon bar in her mouth and said, “Yes, but I can so see you thinking how impractical it is to be shredding rose petals that will end up crushed and on the floor.”

“So that’s what a lemon bar looks like in someone’s mouth. I’d always wondered.”

She held a hand over mouth as she finished chewing and shot him a glare. He grinned. “It must be love if I actually found that adorable.”

She finished chewing, swallowed, sipped her shake and turned so she was sitting against the headboard, her legs over Jon’s lap. He took off her flip-flops. 

“Are we starting?” she asked. 

He started to laugh. “Did you really just ask that?”

She nudged him with her foot and he moved her legs off his lap and stood. He held out his hand. “May I have this dance?”

She smiled and slipped her hand into his. “Of course.”

He drew her into his arms and wrapped his arms around her. Sansa perched her chin on his shoulder as they swayed to the music.

“Oh, wait, I have something I want to play for you,” he said and pulled out of her arms. 

Sansa looked at him quizzically as he went to his phone and fiddled with it. When the strains of “Wind Beneath my Wings” started to play, Sansa burst out laughing. She held out her arms to him and he came over to her and she placed her hands on either side of his face and kissed him soundly. “You are officially the best boyfriend ever,” she said. 

He kissed her then, slowly, and ran his fingers through her hair. He started to walk her back to the bed. “Just so you know, we’re starting now.”

She laughed and then let out an ‘eep!’ when the back of her legs hit the bed. She sat down and started to undo the buttons of Jon’s shirt from the bottom up.

“I have protection,” he told her. “I know we didn’t talk about it.”

“It’s okay. I went on the pill after…well…”

“He who shall not be named?”

Sansa nodded and pushed Jon’s shirt off. She then leaned over and began pressing kisses to his stomach. It clenched and he grunted as his hand tangled in her hair. She smiled to herself and continued her path up. When she got to one nipple she flicked her tongue against it and Jon swore.

He pulled her to her feet and kissed her as his hands slipped under her tank top and pushed up. She helped him rid herself of it and he went to work on her bra while nuzzling her neck. When her bra was gone, he trailed kisses across her chest and then took one breast in his mouth and flicked his tongue against her nipple. Sansa moaned and dug her hands in his curls. He left a path of kisses to her other breast and made sure to give it the same treatment. 

By this point, Sansa was out of her mind with need. Judging by the say Jon pushed her down on the bed and yanked her pants down, he was too. She laughed somewhat nervously as her panties went flying over his shoulder. And then he pulled her to the edge of the bed and kneeled before her. He put her legs over his shoulders and buries his face in her pussy. 

Sansa flopped back on the bed with a moan, her eyes fluttering shut. 

“Look at me, sweet girl,” he said. “I want your eyes on me.”

Sansa lifted herself up and met his eyes as he licked and sucked at her. When she came, she balled the comforter and a few rose petals with it, in her hands and cried out his name. 

Jon seemed to know when to back off and then he stood, wiped his chin, and watched her with hunger in his eyes as he discarded the rest of his clothing. He started to reach for her, but Sansa stopped him with a hand jutted out. “I want to look at you,” she breathed. “I’ve seen parts of you, but not all of you.” Her eyes ran over him and she whispered. “You’re so beautiful, Jon.”

“Nothing compared to you,” he whispered back and pushed her back on the bed. He kissed her knees. Her thighs. Her pussy. Her hips. Her belly, her chest, neck, and finally her lips. He rolled partially to the side and ran a hand down her body. His eyes devoured her as Sansa’s devoured him. She then reached for his cock, hard and straining, and leaking precum. She stroked him gently and Jon moaned. 

“Do you want me to use my mouth on you?” she asked curiously. 

“No, I’m too close as it is and I want to be inside you.” He pulled her hand off him and kissed her fingers. 

“Can you believe it, Jon?” Sansa said in awe. “Can you believe that after all this time and after so many years we’re here?”

“I can,” Jon murmured. “Do you know what all those years were, Sansa?”

“No, what?”

He smiled. “Foreplay.”

She erupted into laughter. “I want you to tell Robb that when we go home for the summer.”

“Sansa, please don’t mention your brother in bed with us,” Jon whined. 

She bit her lip and giggled. “Sorry.”

“I want you to spread your legs for me, sweetling.”

She did as he told her and Jon crawled over her and settled himself between them. He braced his hands on either side of her head and peered down at her. “Are you ready?”

She nodded and curled her fingers around his biceps. Jon reached between them with one hand and brought himself to her core. Sansa held her breath. He looked at her. “Breathe, sweetling.”

She let out the breath she’d been holding just as Jon inched himself inside her. He grunted and then groaned and pressed his forehead to hers. “God, Sansa, you’re so tight…”

“That’s good, right?”

He groaned. “Yes, but I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Quick like a band-aid, Jon. Just do it.”

His face twisted into one of intense concentration and then he plunged inside her. Sansa gasped and her nails dug into his arms. 

Jon held himself still inside her. “Are you okay? Sansa, did I hurt you badly?”

“It’s supposed to hurt,” she said through clenched teeth. 

“I know, but I still can’t stand that it did.” He began peppering her face with kisses. “Sweetling,” he murmured. “My Sansa, my girl, my sweet Sansa…”

He kissed her deeply and didn’t move and then Sansa shifted under him. “I think it’s okay for you to move now, Jon.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she said with nod. 

He kissed her and began to move, slowly. He broke the kiss and looked down at her, his breathing heavier. “Are you okay?”

She nodded and shifted under him, causing him to hit her clit in just the right way. She gasped. “Oh!”

“Yes?”

“Very much yes,” she breathed. 

He grinned down at her kissed her cheeks, her nose, and her chin. “I love you so much,” he whispered. 

Sansa moaned tugged on his hair lightly with one hand. He took the hint and kissed her. “Tell me you love me,” he muttered against her lips.

“I love you, Jon.”

His thrusts grew faster. He bent his head and bit lightly at her neck, sucked on it to the point that Sansa knew he’d left a mark, and then laved one nipped with his tongue and then the other. 

Sansa moaned and gripped his arms.

“I want you to come for me, sweet girl,” he said and reached between them with one hand. He began to stroke her clit as he steadily pumped inside her. “Come for me, Sansa. I want to feel you wet my cock. God, you feel so good.” He bent over and nipped at her ear. “I’m going to make love to you every day. I’m going to bury myself inside you and make you come every single day.”

“Jon!” Sansa shouted as she came. “Jon, oh God, Jon…”

“That’s my girl. That’s my Sansa,” he muttered. Then he moaned and held himself inside her. “Sansa, my Sansa, fuck, yes, fuck…”

He dropped down onto her and kissed her again and again and again. “I never want to let you go,” he said softly. “How did I go so long without you?”

Sansa smiled and brushed some hair from his face. “You’ll never have to again.”

Jon rolled them to their sides and he held her close against him, their legs entangled together. “I didn’t use a condom,” he muttered. 

“It’s okay. We’ll be fine.”

“Are you okay?” he asked and looked at her worriedly. 

“I’m perfect.”

He leaned in, kissed her, and murmured, “Indeed you are.”


	32. Epilogue

“So, do you think Robb is going to punch you in the face for defiling his little sister?” Sansa asked when Jon turned onto the street where both his parents and her family lived. 

Sansa could tell he was trying not to grin when said, “Well, I just figure I’ll tell him you had an affair with your professor if he tries.”

Sansa’s jaw dropped and he laughed. “Nice, Jon, real nice. You would throw your girlfriend under the bus like that?”

“I have been punched by Robb before, Sansa. It’s not something I care to repeat.”

She sighed. “Well, I kind of don’t want my parents to know about Jaime.”

“I’m teasing, San. I’m not actually going to tell anyone about that.”

She beamed at him and then leaned over and kissed his cheek. “You are bestest boyfriend ever.”

“Ah, so I’m no longer the anti-Christ after I woke you up this morning.”

“You know I’m not a morning person.”

“That is a gross understatement.”

The day before their three-day road trip home Sansa and Jon had purchased a moving van for all their things. There was no way all their stuff was going to fit into Jon’s car. Jon had done his research to find the cheapest company until Sansa had gotten tired of waiting for him to take her out to dinner and had taken his laptop from him and clicked on the one he’d had up on the screen. 

“You’re just lucky that was the cheapest one,” he told her after. 

“No, Jon, you’re lucky I didn’t go Dawn of the Dead on your ass because I am starving right now and you look like you have a succulent neck,” she’d retorted. 

He’d taken her out to eat immediately after that. 

No one at home batted an eye that Jon was driving them home. No doubt they figured they’d be getting separate rooms or at least Jon would sleep on a cot or a couch. 

No dice. 

Jon and Sansa christened almost every hotel room they stayed in. The first one they’d stopped at, they’d both passed right out after getting an early start that morning. But after that? Game on. 

Sansa was actually sad that their road trip was coming to an end. She had only wanted to shoot him a couple of times and so marked that as a success. She'd gotten through those moments by texting Margaery, who reminded her how much trouble she could actually get into if she shot him. However, from what she could tell, it had been the same for Jon – he didn’t like it when she’d demonstrated how she could drive with her knees. Nor did he like it when she’d been looking for a song on her iPod while driving. 

Now they were home and while Sansa was looking forward to seeing her family and having the summer off, she was not looking forward to having to find places for her and Jon to make out. There was nothing like the freedom of living away from home.

Plus, Sansa had a feeling the both of them were going to be put to work. Jon would probably help his Dad make bookcases and cabinets and other custom-made furniture while Sansa was going to have to work at her father’s firm answering phones. That was fine though. She needed the money, and so did Jon. 

Jon pulled into the Stark family driveway and parked. He looked at her as he undid his seatbelt. “Ready?”

She nodded as she undid her seatbelt as well. “One last kiss?”

He leaned over. “Not the last kiss,” he murmured. “The first kiss home. The first of many.”

“You are such a sap,” she said with a little laugh. “I love it.”

He grinned and captured her lips for a deeper kiss than she’d expected. 

“Jon, why the fuck are you kissing my sister?”

Both Jon and Sansa looked over to see Robb heading towards them from the house. 

“Maybe you could tell him that thing about how all those years of us being friends was just foreplay,” Sansa said. 

“Sansa, please don’t help,” Jon said and climbed out of the car. 

Sansa leapt out of the car and the Stark family filed out of the house behind Robb. 

“What’s this about Jon kissing Sansa?” she heard her mother say. 

Robb, meanwhile was getting in Jon’s face. Sansa, desperate to take the heat off Jon exclaimed, “I declared my major to music! I had my first performance and sang on stage!”

They all stopped and looked at her. 

“WHAT?” was essentially the question du jour. 

It did get the heat off Jon though. He shot her a grateful look and Sansa winked at him. It also bought her enough time to job over to Jon’s side and become a human shield against Robb. 

Yup. They were home. 

xxxxxx

Later that evening, after a big dinner in which the Starks had Jon and his parents over for Jon and Sansa’s return home, the couple went for a walk down their street. 

Jon pulled Sansa in close and wrapped an arm around her. He kissed her temple. “So, that went well.”

She laughed. “If by well you mean Robb didn’t punch you, then yes.”

“But your Mom was accepting of the fact that you declared your major to music.”

“Yeah, but I think my Dad is going to try and convince me to change it to law this summer.”

“He has his work cut out for him.”

Sansa grinned. “That is true.”

“I was thinking before we have to start working next week that I could come over after everyone leaves for the day…”

“Jon Snow, are you planning to sex me up in the very bedroom I grew up in?”

Jon grinned. “Yep. Any objections?”

“Nope. I’ll make sure all my stuffed animals are turned around. I don’t want you to have performance anxiety.”

Jon tickled her then and Sansa collapsed into giggles. Jon stopped tickling her and just held her in his arms. He looked down at her, his heart filled with so much love for her he thought it might burst. He leaned in and gave her an Eskimo kiss and he felt her melt in his arms. She lifted her head and kissed him sweetly. “I love you, Jon Snow.”

He kissed her again. “And I love you, Sansa Stark.”

Then Arya rode by on her bike and told them to get a room and Jon and Sansa split apart with a sigh and continued their walk. 

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed my first Jon x Sansa story! I had a lot of fun writing it, and hope you'll give my other stories a chance if you haven't already. :)


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